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Two funny products being sold by same person - Philip B on Amazon…
Philip B Drop Dead Baume Straight, 6-Ounces
Philip B Shin Shine Finish Mist, 1.85-Ounces
Flipping through one of Richard Barrow’s many sites landed me on this page:
Thai kids boxing with blindfolds on >
It’s worth the time it takes to load the video - and it’s a riot… only too short. I could watch that for 30 minutes or more!
Great stuff from 2006… I don’t think you’d see this in your country!
There are many things that I’m still saying ‘What the F_?” about here in Thailand. It started as I arrived in Bangkok. Some things I got over. Others - I’m still saying - WTF??
5. Telling time in Isaan. I still can’t. I lived there for 19 months and still ask me what time it is at 8am I couldn’t tell you in Isaan dialect to save my life. I think I have the hours of 1pm to 6pm down OK, but maybe not. WHY did they subtract 6 hours from what the clock SAYS it is? WHY, my god, why?
4. Answering the phone while driving a motorbike - rain or shine. As if motorbikes here weren’t dangerous enough. First of all how do they feel the phone ringing on vibrate? The motorbike is like a big vibrator - but still they can feel the tiny buzz of the mobile phone without fail. This is why I say, if the girl says she was on her motorbike and didn’t know the phone was ringing - it’s probably a lie. They are pre-wired to feel it.
3. How can Thais’ go through their entire lives without telling someone the simple command, “Don’t”?? How? I tell strangers “Don’t”. I tell stranger’s kids, “Don’t”. But I’ve heard the word only a handful of times in 3 years. Amazing. I guess in a good way. Not sure.
2. People that speed up from behind you only to jam on their brakes and make left turns directly in front of you. Forcing you to stop and cuss them, all the while losing face because you can’t deal with it the “Thai way”.
1. When Thai people don’t listen. I honestly think due to a genetic problem their eardrums don’t work. They’re well-intentioned, yes. Thankfully they read lips, but of course they can’t lip read your accent and so never really understand you. If I tallied all the times I interacted with a Thai person verbally the times they listened to what I said must hover around 50%. I want to say 10%, but that can’t be correct because I’d be a lunatic by this point.
The 10% figure is appropriate when talking about the number of times I ordered at a restaurant, the Thai repeated the order back, I said, “Yes, that’s right” and then was served something different than what I ordered.
Anyone care to share their WTF’s?
The title of the story over at Pattaya City News was catchy, so I read it…
It’s a really lame story except for the fact that some Thai guy got SAVAGED by the pussy! Check out the last photo -the guy’s shirt is covered in blood. Did the pussy jump on his face or what? Where’s the rest of the story?
I really want to know about that savage pussy - please? Someone?
I was drinking some coffee and writing blogs at an outdoor cafe when this guy came from the parking lot. He wasn’t all that odd looking, but there was something artsy about him I could tell right away. Couldn’t put my finger on it.
He tried to order some tea with honey. After a few attempts I turned around and helped by telling the cashier who spoke not a word of Engrish that he wanted nam cha sy nam peung. By now the cashier was frazzled and he couldn’t even understand me speaking Thai. I know I’m not perfect, but… jeez. After 30 seconds we all were shaking our heads yes and maybe the guy got honey and maybe he didn’t.
After he sat at the table his girl (friend?) came around from the restroom area. She was QUITE the artsy girl seeming as if she just stepped out of a B-52’s video, LOVESHACK or something.
Anyway - that’s what I noticed and didn’t think anything more. I like all sorts of people, but I am amazed at how people dress and act - all to be different from the masses, only to be clones of others in their little subculture.
When I went out into the parking lot I damn near burst out in a screaming fit of hysterical laughter. I damn near went “silop silai” (into a coma) from hyperventilating. What I saw were the two most hilarious, outrageous and damn-right dangerous bikes I’d ever seen in my life. They were unstable as all hell and I realized, the two that owned them were the only two possible. The artsy kids.
Here’s a photo.
No lie, the seats were 6+ feet off the ground. For you people that don’t use feet anymore, that’s 2+ meters.
They fused parts of old bikes together and then painted them up pretty. They then hung on them all sorts of shiagus (isn’t that jewish for shite?) and were driving on the HEAVILY traveled streets in the middle of nowhere with these contraptions. There were juggling pins - like bowling pins, hula hoops, colorful scarfs, all kind of nonsense.
I’m afraid on my motorbike sometimes. I haven’t felt unsafe since seeing this spectacle though!
People… please. Yeah, it’s cute. It’s funny. It’s fun. You are making people smile with your ridiculousness. I’m all for it. But, there’s a limit you know? Do you have any idea how many foreigners smear their brain chemistry across Thailand’s roads each year?
You could be straight sober (and they were) and still become someone’s hood ornament until you fall off and become the goo between their tires.
Unreal what people do… Isn’t it?
[10:33:50 AM] Richard says: hi
[10:36:51 AM] Vern says: hi there- sorry - inet cafe on fire
[10:36:53 AM] Vern says: it appears
[10:36:56 AM] Vern says: nuts
[10:36:57 AM] Richard says: lol
[10:37:01 AM] Richard says: really?
[10:37:02 AM] Vern says: yes, no lie
[10:37:07 AM] Richard says: 
[10:37:09 AM] Vern says: something blew up in back
[10:37:13 AM] Vern says: i was on the toilet
[10:37:14 AM] Richard says: a bit of drama for the morning
[10:37:22 AM] Richard says: anyone hurt?
[10:37:24 AM] Vern says: smoke POURING in the window
[10:37:31 AM] Vern says: not sure - thais taking care of it
[10:37:34 AM] Richard says: sounds serious
[10:37:37 AM] Vern says: i have my underwear in my lap
[10:37:43 AM] Vern says: i was naked - came out the restroom
[10:37:47 AM] Richard says: probably ignore it - they like putting their head in the sand
[10:37:49 AM] Vern says: hoping nobody came into the room!
[10:37:53 AM] Vern says: yeah
[10:37:52 AM] Richard says: lol
[10:37:54 AM] Vern says: lol
[10:37:55 AM] Vern says: no joke
[10:38:07 AM] Vern says: nuts
[10:40:22 AM] Vern says: ok
[10:40:24 AM] Vern says: back
[10:40:25 AM] Richard says: are you able to talk then?
[10:40:27 AM] Vern says: i went back to wipe my ass
[10:40:28 AM] Vern says: yes
[10:41:01 AM] Richard says:
I got tagged by Lillian to do a post.
I’ve never partaken but this one fit my mood and Lillian is nice enough so…
7 Random or Weird things about myself? I’ve already done a post on my other blog about 8 random things - so I’ll do the weird ones - more interesting…
1. I was in the military (Air Force) and I have no tattoos, never smoked, don’t smoke pot and I don’t watch television including football, baseball, or anything else. I don’t gossip. I cuss like a sailor when I’m in the right mood though.
2. I’m writing a book about killing people in Thailand. Fiction of course.
3. I’m a very humble, meek, easy-going guy… until you cross me in the wrong way and then I’ll destroy you.
4. I spend an inordinate amount of time in thought about why God is so absent.
5. I enjoy watching ants. I experiment with them - throw them some curves and see how they react. I’m fascinated by them and every living thing in the world that is born with the capacity to just ‘know’ something. IE: Spiders know how to build a geometrically (almost perfect) web. Bees know how to make a honeycomb full of 6 sided holes. Ants know to move their eggs when it rains. Stuff like that.
6. I’m fascinated by poisonous snakes, centipedes, scorpions… but not really spiders.
7. I’d rather ride the motorbike 400 km than ride a bus in Thailand. Petrified of bus rides here.
I won’t tag anyone but I’d like to see LINE, JASON, GARY, Richard B., Dave the Rave, Gunny, MJ, Stick, Dana and Henrik post 7 WEIRD things about themselves.
Just for fun…
Odd Thailand Animal Photos
Monkeys pretending to have sex at a Ao Nang Beach, Krabi, Thailand. I don’t know why they do this - but they just get in the doggie style and pretend to hump for a bit and then find something else interesting. We descended from these things?
At Wat Tum Sua in Krabi is a stuffed wildcat. Not sure what kind, but I hope this isn’t what they’re calling a Tiger… for some reason I think it is… Wat Tum Sua means Temple Cave Tiger… Apparently a large “tiger” used to roam the foothills there. They can’t be talking about this thing, could they?
Dead birds on top of a temple in Sisaket, Thailand. I was trying to figure out why they died - and I couldn’t come up with anything. There was no nest around. Where I found them it was impossible they had fallen far if they did fall. The fact that they’re together means they didn’t happen to try to fly and found they couldn’t and both crashed there - unless they went at same time and got tangled like parachute jumpers. Any ideas?
Weird statue, Sisaket, Thailand.
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Thailand ODD Photo Series Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5
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I enjoyed the HELL outta this - not sure why.
Browse groups of Symbols and what they mean… Cool stuff.
Anyone thinking of a Tattoo?
Stay tuned, Thai Manwhore Post coming shortly…
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