Farang and Bargirl Relationships in Thailand…

Farang and bargirl relationships in Thailand

(Last updated: 29 December 2016)

I’m thinking that these notecards are better off done in a graphics program, but my g/f likes them better handwritten like this. I’m sort of ambivalent except hand writing these goes much more quickly. MUCH by a factor of 10 much.

Farang-bargirl relationships are doomed from the start. That’s my own personal take on it. You can’t possibly think that a girl that has lied to everyone she knows for a period of months or years will EVER come around and start telling you the truth about everything she is doing, the friends she has, the guys she knows abroad that are sending her money for years after you’ve married her… the different bank accounts, the numerous cell phone SIM cards she has.

You wouldn’t date a girl like this in your own country so why in he11 would you date and MARRY one here?

I know the temptation must be overwhelming to some. Some guys have not had a girlfriend during their entire LIVES and they come here and suddenly they have 3 girls – all 10/10 fawning over them and making promises to love them long time…

A guy like that is going to be duped into believing totally unbelievable BS and worse, can be led down the path to marriage very easily.

This is really so far from reality that to those of us that can see it (and I can only see it because I fell for a girl that was “not” a bargirl, but then, ended up to BE a bargirl!!!) that it defies explanation.

The need to be loved… to conquer a beautiful 10/10 girl and have her falling at your feet is a part of life that these guys will do anything to experience.

Once they start playing that game, the girls know just how to milk every baht from them and ditch them when the baht stops flowing or slows down to a level that isn’t worth their time.

Guys that come to Thailand looking for a girl, a girl that they are going to spend their entire life with – or at least a percentage should really do the
following:

Look for girls here:

  • Mukdahan
  • Sisaket
  • Surin
  • Yasothon
  • Ubon
  • Loei – or any other backwoods city in the
    northeast

Limit spending on “your girl” for 1st year to:

60000 baht. That’s 5000/mth and more than enough for EVERY girl in Isaan to live happily on. They DO IT FOR LESS.

3 strikes you’re out:

If “your girl” doesn’t answer the phone 3 times during the course of you knowing her – drop her. No, I’m not joking. A Thai girl can answer her phone AND have a conversation at 100km/hr on a motorbike. She KNOWS when the phone goes off at all times. The phone is their life.
If she misses 3 of your calls, there are 3 very good (or bad) reasons why. Drop her and move on to the next.

Count how many times “your girl” mentions money in the course of 1 year. A bargirl, or a girl with a similar mentality that is focused on money and sees you as an ATM will mention money once per day or so. This is a MINIMUM.

My g/f from Isaan has mentioned needing money exactly twice in our 2+ year relationship. Once she was in Bangkok and didn’t have enough money for the train ticket back home (600b). The other time was when she needed some clothes for work (1500b).

Other than that I give her 4000 per month and she has been happy with that. THIS is how a good Thai girl should be… HAPPY that she doesn’t have to go to work at a chicken parts factory because you will pay her 4000 baht per month, pay for her food and her rent and phone cards.

That’s it.

If you don’t have a relationship similar to this – then you have found a parasite that is milking you for money.

Good relationships exist in Thailand, it’s just that finding one takes more than the minute it takes you to enter a bar, have your future wife sit beside you and give you a crotch grope and ask for a drink.

Invest 1 week, 2 weeks, a month in Isaan. Hang out at the malls or shopping areas. DON’T date the girls working at the shops – as they seem to be ex-pattaya and Patong girls for some reason.

Especially Robinsons. I’m not sure why.

Don’t date ANY Thai girl with a Tattoo. Good girls don’t get them here. (Update 2016- many girls are getting them. Trust me, no girl that hasn’t worked in a bar gets a huge spread eagle across the top of her ass!)

Go to the college library and sit around with your laptop in Isaan and see how many smiles you will get. Turn a smile into a “practice your English” session and you’ll be on your way.

Be careful because though you may be in Isaan, even some college girls have friends that are plying the sex-trade in tourist places in LOS. If she mentions money at all when you first meet. She is one of those girls that knows the game from that perspective. For what ever reasons… she thinks farang = ATM. Move on.

There are THOUSANDS UPON PRECIOUS THOUSANDS of drop-dead gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet and innocent girls in Isaan at the colleges.

Put a little time in there and see what you can find.

Your chances for finding a lasting relationship will improve by a factor of “9” and you’ll look less stupid in a group, bringing your covered with tattoos, smoking cigarettes, underwear and bra-showing Thai girlfriend or wife for everyone to laugh at.

Case in point. A teacher from England at my school brought his bargirl girlfriend (his word) to a school function where the kids are to put on a play.

All the teachers are there, the parents are there…. and this guy brings his black as charcoal girlfriend (number 1 bargirl identifier), covered with tattoos (#2), with her ultra tight and short skirt (#3), pierced nose (#4) and low cut shirt (#5) to the children’s function!

I was sitting at a table with the other Thai teachers in the English program. When my friend and this girl walked in – in Thai the teachers said she was ugly and a whore!

They knew INSTANTANEOUSLY.

So – this is part of the reason farang get no respect here in Thailand. We don’t know how to act. A Thai man would never, EVER in his life bring a whore to a children’s function at the place they work! NEVER!

Actually, the only guys that are EVER in public with a whore is when they are pimps themselves or brothers or fathers.

Thai guys are very aware of their standing in the community. Even a large community. There is no anonymity here. Everyone knows everyone. Farangs – even more so. There are people that know my name in the town that I’ve never seen. They know more about me than I could have ever guessed.

Thai culture is built on face – and levels of face. Walking around with whores from Pattaya is a sure way to get zero respect in Thailand. You might think – oh, they love my wife… in truth – they all are calling her whore and nobody likes her or you for bringing her.

Anyway – I’m a bit out of material!

Don’t date bargirls for more than a night!

Thailand’s Bargirls After?

Some guys start to get it after a while – maybe 6 trips or
so to Thailand, aka “Land of Smiles”. Some guys never
really get it… and they end up marrying a bargirl.

Bargirls are after one thing that you have, and it’s not
those cute dimples either, Skippy. It’s your cash. If you
have cash – you’re desireable. If not, you’re ignored.
See how the older guys with the least desirable looks
are the most sought after at the bar? Do you think the
girls are looking for LOVE or for something else?

Do you think a 25 year old Chinese-Thai girl from
Ubon that is college educated, has a good family and
job at her sister’s law firm would meet a fat train
engineer from Kentucky who is 60+ years old, fat,
smokes and drinks WAY too much, and pushes
her around when he comes to visit her in Ubon at
her family’s home is looking for LOVE IN
AMERICA when she agrees to marry him and
go with him there?

HA! Even this girl is not looking for love… she is
playing the game like the bargirls do – but not
NEARLY as good as they do. I know this girl
personally she is SO gorgeous, she has multiple
“Gigs” that she can meet with in Bangkok, Ubon,
Laos, and Malaysia. She was getting about
20,000b per MONTH from this guy in
Kentucky that was a real horrorshow. This guy
was a nutcase. He wanted her to come stay with
him on the farm! He processed her paperwork
and she was all ready to go when I met her.

I talked to her about this clown, and figured out that
he was about the WORST catch she could possibly
find on the internet. The guy had money – and she
overlooked EVERYTHING ELSE!

This is a girl that HAD A LIFE here in Thailand,
but the desire to see America and to be able to go
get her Master’s degree there was so high on her
list of priorities that she was actually GOING
to do it.

I talked her out of it.

The guy raised holy hell with her – but she
stayed firm on her plan to not go after I talked
with her.

He still hounds her.

So, this is a decent girl…

A bargirl has less to give up here, so she’ll
be more ready to go.

..
.

17 Clues Your Girlfriend IS or WAS a Whore

This article I think is appropriate since there are so many guys that come here to Thailand and meet someone that they think is the answer to either their prayers… or to their sleepless nights with their hand under the sheets. The girl is really a whore – and the guy is clueless.

Now, for the guys that don’t care – ok, no worries – whatever you want for yourself – whatever is OK for yourself – is great. Have fun. Don’t read this until after you and your whore break up and then read this for when you want to find a decent girl next time or the time after that – or when you have a friend that needs some help, not for you…

This list of clues to knowing if you have found a good girl or one that is now or was in the past – not a good girl. It shouldn’t need to be said that if you found your girl in a bar of ANY sort that you shouldn’t be reading this list… you know from whence she came and you don’t need to read this list of clues to see if maybe she might have SOME redeeming qualities OTHER than she she was found in a bar.

Likewise, there are some Geographical AREAS that one could say – anyone that came from that AREA is, or was a whore. Patpong, Pattaya, and Phuket are 3 areas that come to mind. There ARE girls that are good girls there – don’t get me wrong, but the chances that you found the 1 out of 175 to be YOUR girlfriend – are – just that, 1 in 175.

Don’t brush these off because your honey-muffin told you she did something different with her life. Thai bargirls will make up EVERY story possible to get you to believe that she wasn’t a whore. Few of these in the clues list are so right on that if she is guilty of it – then she IS or WAS a whore without question. However, if your little tinsel toes trips more than one of these – just accept the fact… she’s a WHORE…

  1. She is familiar with one of the pay-for-play areas in Thailand. If she KNOWS the areas – she is or was a whore. If she can show you around Pattaya or Patong – and shows you around to all the touristy spots chances are great she didn’t work there as a travel guide.

2. She wears a lot of makeup. In Thailand the good girls don’t wear makeup. The Thai guys obviously don’t care about it – or the entire country would be wearing makeup. The only reason a girl would be wearing a lot of makeup is if: She is from another country. She is in the fashion industry – a model, actress, or someone in high-so (high society). Or, she is used to wearing it because she knows how to look good for the tourists who come to Thailand. If it’s the 3rd one, she’s a freelance or a f/t whore.

3. She isn’t shy about patting your azz in public, holding hands, and kissing you – even on the cheek. Good Thai girls don’t DO THIS. This should be a major flag.

4. She has had a baby, but the baby is not with her… A large percentage of girls that work in the pay-for-play industry have had children that they’ve left with their mothers, aunts or other relatives – so they can work unencumbered. A Thai woman loves her kids a lot. Those that are not WITH them are not with them for a reason. If the mom worked a restaurant – she could have the kid with her wherever she was. If the mom was working as a whore – it’s not a good atmosphere for the kid and she knows it – and won’t expose the kid to it.

5. Your girl isn’t a virgin. This is a pretty good clue actually. In Thai society – a girl that is not a virgin gets no dowry and probably gets no decent husband either. A girl that loses her virginity had better marry the guy. If she does not – then she is spoiled goods and the Thai guys won’t marry her. They will almost NEVER marry a girl that has been married and has a child. They have a severe loss of face for this – to be raising someone else’s child. There are exceptions – but, I’d say this is a BIG CLUE.

6. All the girl can think about and talk about – the only thing that she seems to be passionate about, is money and what she wants that costs more money. Good Thai girls don’t MENTION money. It’s not something that is on their mind and they are not obsessed by it. Girls that are obsessed by it will do things to get more money. What does a girl with no skills, no university education and working in a restaurant do for money? I’ve seen so many girls that are freelance whores – they just go with guys they like for a dinner or movie or whatever – maybe straight to their room – just because they need an extra 500 – 1000 baht to get the latest phone or clothes or whatever. To me – this is a major flag – and I avoid ALL girls that are focused on money. To live in Thailand all a girl needs is 5000 baht per month to be happy. They eat and stay very cheaply. I’ve seen it. I’ve also seen those that weren’t happy with that kind of money – offer me sexz for cash.

7. If she has friends IN Pattaya, Patong, or Patpong and she’s keeping in close contact with them – she is or was or may turn out to be a whore if the relationship with you doesn’t work.

8. If she has tattoos – she worked in the pay for play industry in SOME fashion. Whether she worked in a bar, as a masseuse, danced with poles (not polish people, metal poles), served drinks at a restaurant, worked in a fishbowl, or freelanced on the streets – the girl was almost definitely a whore. Add to this – if she has piercings beside her earrings – she was or is a whore. If she has her tongue pierced she was or is 100% without fail, a whore. If her nose is pierced – not 100% but north of 95% I’d say.

9. If she goes to another place to talk on the cellphone then she is hiding something. It should make you wonder. The girls that have nothing to hide – have nothing to hide. If she’s hiding something – it’s another man or husband. Many girls in the “industry” are married with Thai guys and send them money – maybe YOUR money to support them. It’s what they do for love… !

10. Her English is pretty good. She understands anything that has to do with money or a bar or restaurant situation. She may joke to you about “short time, love you long time, no money no honey…” and other typical bar-type jokes and ribbing that goes on. If she does these things – SHE WORKED IN THE INDUSTRY!

11. She is not interested at all in taking care of you once you are in a relationship with her. She wants to watch TV all day and eat, and gossip with her friends. She wants to send out for laundry and eat out everyday. She doesn’t cook. She isn’t looking at you like you are a gift from heaven – which you are – you are making a farang salary – easily 4 times what any Thai guy is making… and you are supporting her with free rent, spending money, and going out to eat sometimes… whores and ex-whores want to really minimize WHAT they are doing from day to day. They’ll plead with you to go out to eat somewhere, complain that they don’t have what someone else has – different type of car, gold, vacations, computer, bigger TV, IPod, etc… they are never satisfied with what they have, and they don’t GIVE much in the way of effort to keeping the house, cooking or things like that. They are used to the bargirl lifestyle which is – eat out everyday and try to buy what everyone else has.

12. She has a separate bank account. Sometimes she is transferring money OUT to a Thai husband…. sometimes she is receiving money from one or a group of past customers (foreigners probably) when she was a f/t whore. Guys will continue to send money for a LONG time between visits. Girls will, of course, collect it as long as he’s sending it.

13. If she is not reachable by phone sometimes – she is up to something. Not saying she’ s a whore, BUT, any Thai girl that can pick up a ringing cell phone while riding 70km per hour on the motorbike can pick a cell phone up ANYTIME unless there’s a sneaky reason why she won’t. The cell phone is a Thai girl’s entire existence… if she’s holed up with you living a boring life in the village – that phone is her link to sanity. If you are calling her and she’s not answering it – something is SERIOUSLY wrong with that picture… No doubt.

Well, that’s 13 – I’ll let other people come up with another 4, I’m pooped out… If you have any to add – comment them – and I’ll add them if I agree…

Update: 29 December 2016

This post caused more grief than you can imagine. Since I posted it I’ve constantly had guys writing me and telling me that the word whore is not appropriate, it’s too rough.

In this case I call it as I see it.

There are THOUSANDS of guys that married prostitutes – and they can’t read this post without a knee-jerk reaction to it. It’s the truth… the truth sometimes hurts. Can you imagine marrying a whore and then having a baby with her? Your son or daughter has a whore for a mom? I just don’t get it… but so many guys marry the bargirls. It’s a very sad thing for the kids, for the guy involved as he inevitably gets shafted time and time again – and loses the whole farm.

Sure there are some successes. Show me them.

Smart Guys with Bargirls as Girlfriends…

Yeah, I met this girl in a bar in Pattaya (insert any destination in Thailand) and I really fell for her… she doesn’t fit the mold of the usual bargirl… this one is different… let me tell you why….

JESUS. If I read or hear one more of these stupid *#(&%)@ articles about this…

On Stickman is another one of these articles by “WildRover” and it just gave me the pissed off attitude I need to express it here. It has been building up.

I gotta wonder about the state of the guys that are writing these articles. I’m guessing them to be no better off in their home country than a bargirl is here. WHO can come to this country… find a whore in a bar… and fall in love with her… and then rationalize that she CHANGED! How does a girl get the whore OUT of her after doing it? How? Someone please tell me!

It’s not just guys that I’m reading on Stick’s site either – it’s teachers I’m working with – that supposedly have a bachelor’s degree – one guy from America, one from England. They both seem like bright guys. They are both calling whores their girlfriends! One guy told me that he hadn’t had much success with girls back in the states – he picked the “wrong girls”… yeah, well man, open your eyes and look at what you got now! You’re WORSE off – you’re dating a whore now! Did you date prostitutes in the states?

He met this girl in Patong at a bar… and now he’s calling her his girlfriend. She comes to stay with him sometimes – a 3-hour bus trip… or he goes down there where he stays with her. She’s ugly as all hell, smokes – he doesn’t… he’s into fitness. She is 30ish… bad bargirl tattoos all over her, bad hair…

He MIGHT be 32? Nothing adds up except he’s right – he picks the wrong girls.

This guy on stick this morning that I read the first three paragraphs of… met this girl in a bar – she was being barfined. He KNOWS what she does. He falls in love with her anyway – she’s different… doesn’t fit the mold! haha! holy shit – what mold are you talking about?

WildRover says, ” I met A in Renoir on November 18th 2005, at about 10 p.m. She was with another guy (big fat, drunk English guy) and he had bar fined her so, through her friend I said I would come back tomorrow, because she was just beautiful – skinny, dark Isaan girl, captivating smile, “ the usual.” and, ” I found out later that while I was in China she went with another customer (she had to work after all), an Australian, for two nights and he was going to Jakarta for two nights then back to Bangkok, when he promised he would take her to Hua Hin.”

Jesus – I had to stop shortly after because from this point he was going to tell me how she was different and didn’t fit the “pattern”.

Wait – holy hell – he started sending her money immediately! 25000 baht per month! hahahha! listen to this…

” After two weeks together I told her I didn’t want her to go back to work in the bars. I was still cautious, because she had many stories about her previous Farang boyfriends. She said she had never been with a Thai boyfriend since she was sixteen. I asked her how much she needed to stay out of the bars and she would not answer. I asked if 15,000 THB would be enough (my first time at this!). She said yes, but when I pushed a bit about her actual living costs I figured this would just cover the basics, so settled on BHT25,000 per month. Later, after about another three months, she told me her previous BF was giving her 60,000 a month. My silent reaction was “sucker!” but then I did the numbers and figured that if she worked 20 nights a month and did customers 15 nights a month, and got a reasonable 2,500 THB each night she could easily have made this much when you added in the drink commissions from the bar. However, she was still happy with 25,000 THB (and still is to this day) and has never asked me for more.”

UGGHHHHH*#**#*#**#~! Yeah, girls working in a restaurant make 7,000 baht per month! She’s got enough to save $500 USD per month? When he went back to her village he said the family treated him with a lot of respect! hahaha! yeah, he just bought them a car and fourteen bat gold chains! I’d kiss your feet ANYTIME you visited me. Respect out of financing me goes a long way… behind your back they’re laughing their brown eyes black.

So – in my own humbly expressed opinion, this poor sap is going down a losing path.

What is stickman’s comment to this guy…? “From the sound of it she has most likely left the bar scene, so any check would be to verify the existence of boyfriends outside of the bar scene. Due to the sporadic nature of travels by many Western guys to and from Thailand, this can be more difficult to determine.

But overall, it sounds like she is on the straight and narrow.”

WHAT??? Am I THE ONE nuts here? On the straight and narrow what? Lines of coke?

I can’t believe he didn’t tell the guy to run with his money into Isaan and find a girl that is worthy of giving money to stay chaste.

So, that’s what I’m telling him.

Please, for the love of YOURSELF… save your money… spend it on a trip to the northeast sometime. Meet a girl in a mall that has something going for her… whether that’s college, a job, or nothing at all… she might have NOTHING going for her – except you… and send her 10,000 baht per month which is MORE than girls with no skills make even in Bangkok, and be much happier and have fewer games. Maybe you’ll still have games, maybe not… but you won’t be dealing with issues of a girl that recently dropped out of the bar scene because you gave her money to do it…

signed,

frustrated as all hell

(PS: Yep, I fell for one too when I first got here – hence the anger behind this rant. I vowed to help make other farang smarter because of it… Hahaha – like I’m so well-intentioned now… hahah… anyway – that’s the reason for the tone of this post…)