Farang and Bargirl Relationships in Thailand…

Farang and bargirl relationships in Thailand

(Last updated: 29 December 2016)

I’m thinking that these notecards are better off done in a graphics program, but my g/f likes them better handwritten like this. I’m sort of ambivalent except hand writing these goes much more quickly. MUCH by a factor of 10 much.

Farang-bargirl relationships are doomed from the start. That’s my own personal take on it. You can’t possibly think that a girl that has lied to everyone she knows for a period of months or years will EVER come around and start telling you the truth about everything she is doing, the friends she has, the guys she knows abroad that are sending her money for years after you’ve married her… the different bank accounts, the numerous cell phone SIM cards she has.

You wouldn’t date a girl like this in your own country so why in he11 would you date and MARRY one here?

I know the temptation must be overwhelming to some. Some guys have not had a girlfriend during their entire LIVES and they come here and suddenly they have 3 girls – all 10/10 fawning over them and making promises to love them long time…

A guy like that is going to be duped into believing totally unbelievable BS and worse, can be led down the path to marriage very easily.

This is really so far from reality that to those of us that can see it (and I can only see it because I fell for a girl that was “not” a bargirl, but then, ended up to BE a bargirl!!!) that it defies explanation.

The need to be loved… to conquer a beautiful 10/10 girl and have her falling at your feet is a part of life that these guys will do anything to experience.

Once they start playing that game, the girls know just how to milk every baht from them and ditch them when the baht stops flowing or slows down to a level that isn’t worth their time.

Guys that come to Thailand looking for a girl, a girl that they are going to spend their entire life with – or at least a percentage should really do the
following:

Look for girls here:

  • Mukdahan
  • Sisaket
  • Surin
  • Yasothon
  • Ubon
  • Loei – or any other backwoods city in the
    northeast

Limit spending on “your girl” for 1st year to:

60000 baht. That’s 5000/mth and more than enough for EVERY girl in Isaan to live happily on. They DO IT FOR LESS.

3 strikes you’re out:

If “your girl” doesn’t answer the phone 3 times during the course of you knowing her – drop her. No, I’m not joking. A Thai girl can answer her phone AND have a conversation at 100km/hr on a motorbike. She KNOWS when the phone goes off at all times. The phone is their life.
If she misses 3 of your calls, there are 3 very good (or bad) reasons why. Drop her and move on to the next.

Count how many times “your girl” mentions money in the course of 1 year. A bargirl, or a girl with a similar mentality that is focused on money and sees you as an ATM will mention money once per day or so. This is a MINIMUM.

My g/f from Isaan has mentioned needing money exactly twice in our 2+ year relationship. Once she was in Bangkok and didn’t have enough money for the train ticket back home (600b). The other time was when she needed some clothes for work (1500b).

Other than that I give her 4000 per month and she has been happy with that. THIS is how a good Thai girl should be… HAPPY that she doesn’t have to go to work at a chicken parts factory because you will pay her 4000 baht per month, pay for her food and her rent and phone cards.

That’s it.

If you don’t have a relationship similar to this – then you have found a parasite that is milking you for money.

Good relationships exist in Thailand, it’s just that finding one takes more than the minute it takes you to enter a bar, have your future wife sit beside you and give you a crotch grope and ask for a drink.

Invest 1 week, 2 weeks, a month in Isaan. Hang out at the malls or shopping areas. DON’T date the girls working at the shops – as they seem to be ex-pattaya and Patong girls for some reason.

Especially Robinsons. I’m not sure why.

Don’t date ANY Thai girl with a Tattoo. Good girls don’t get them here. (Update 2016- many girls are getting them. Trust me, no girl that hasn’t worked in a bar gets a huge spread eagle across the top of her ass!)

Go to the college library and sit around with your laptop in Isaan and see how many smiles you will get. Turn a smile into a “practice your English” session and you’ll be on your way.

Be careful because though you may be in Isaan, even some college girls have friends that are plying the sex-trade in tourist places in LOS. If she mentions money at all when you first meet. She is one of those girls that knows the game from that perspective. For what ever reasons… she thinks farang = ATM. Move on.

There are THOUSANDS UPON PRECIOUS THOUSANDS of drop-dead gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet and innocent girls in Isaan at the colleges.

Put a little time in there and see what you can find.

Your chances for finding a lasting relationship will improve by a factor of “9” and you’ll look less stupid in a group, bringing your covered with tattoos, smoking cigarettes, underwear and bra-showing Thai girlfriend or wife for everyone to laugh at.

Case in point. A teacher from England at my school brought his bargirl girlfriend (his word) to a school function where the kids are to put on a play.

All the teachers are there, the parents are there…. and this guy brings his black as charcoal girlfriend (number 1 bargirl identifier), covered with tattoos (#2), with her ultra tight and short skirt (#3), pierced nose (#4) and low cut shirt (#5) to the children’s function!

I was sitting at a table with the other Thai teachers in the English program. When my friend and this girl walked in – in Thai the teachers said she was ugly and a whore!

They knew INSTANTANEOUSLY.

So – this is part of the reason farang get no respect here in Thailand. We don’t know how to act. A Thai man would never, EVER in his life bring a whore to a children’s function at the place they work! NEVER!

Actually, the only guys that are EVER in public with a whore is when they are pimps themselves or brothers or fathers.

Thai guys are very aware of their standing in the community. Even a large community. There is no anonymity here. Everyone knows everyone. Farangs – even more so. There are people that know my name in the town that I’ve never seen. They know more about me than I could have ever guessed.

Thai culture is built on face – and levels of face. Walking around with whores from Pattaya is a sure way to get zero respect in Thailand. You might think – oh, they love my wife… in truth – they all are calling her whore and nobody likes her or you for bringing her.

Anyway – I’m a bit out of material!

Don’t date bargirls for more than a night!

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Thai Bargirls Joke (revised)

I did this bargirls joke a while back but I only used A, B, C, D.

Thai bargirls realm of choice.
What a choice confronting these bargirls!

Why can’t I FIND A WALKING ATM Bargirl?

I’m delaying one of the posts I’ve aleady written to see if I should tone it down a little. I wrote it yesterday when I was really ramped up. I’d better read it over and see if the guy deserves a little break before I attack him.

Thai Women versus Farang Women…

Thai women versus Farang women, bra size

This one is just an observation. I’m not one that cares particularly, but I’ve dedicated my life to observing differences between Thai culture and my own.

This is just one of those things that seems to creep into consciousness after a few months. There is just no correlation between weight and size here. I’ve never seen that before in my life. There is ALWAYS a correlation – it always exists. To me it was a truth.

Thailand is tearing down the very foundations of “what is TRUTH” to me… It’s disconcerting, but I’m 100% dedicated to finding more such non-correlations if any exist. Trust me – I’m here for you – throwing myself into Thai culture, rolling around in it, and not always coming out fresh.

Thai Girls…Tarantula

Thai girls and reaction to tarantula

There are different girls in Thailand. Different people. There are those from Bangkok that think they are above it all. They’ve forgotten their roots – their culture, their traditions for the most part.

I’ve noticed a real change just going from Ubon Ratchathani to this same-sized city in the south – Surat Thani. The people here are not the same. Yeah, it’s a generalization for sure… but one that I’m OK with.

In Ubon people go to the temple more. They take part in things the temple is doing more. They have many more cultural things happening at the parks. There is traditional dancing both from the Isaan region and the north around
Chiang Mai – there are dancers that have shows for both regions in Ubon. Laos is close by and Ubon is influenced by their culture, their foods…

When there is a Thai Holiday – whether Buddhist based or not, it is really enjoyed there in Ubon, they do it big. They have fun organizing everything and following through with the tradition.

I have fun with it too – a lot of fun! Loy Krathong and SongKran are really a good time! Here in Surat it’s all dummed down. There’s a small celebration for Loy Krathong but it’s really nothing worth talking about.

Thai people in the northeast are said to eat anything! And, for the most part – that is correct. They DO. I spent the first year plus in Ubon and I was introduced to eating things that back in the states we only step on. I won’t say
any of them were tasty… but they weren’t bad either. There’s really no taste after deep frying. There’s more taste in a french fry than a rice bug that’s been deep fried.

The hilltribe folks are said to be VERY backwoods and they eating things cooked, dead, or crawling. The only thing I’ve eaten that was still alive here is baby shrimp. They weren’t tasty except for the fact that they were bathed in a hot spicy sauce… the dish is called “Goong Dthen” and means “Shrimp dance”. When I removed the plate that was on top of another plate I got a surprise. I went with it though and ate some, but really – no taste at all to a live shrimp. The shells are soft enough so as not to bother you too much.

I’ve not eaten tarantula and don’t expect to. They sell them in buckets – there are hundreds of them. Where do they find them by the hundreds?

And, since they’ve been deep fried I think they have a dreadfully long shelf-life so I suspect some have been on display for months before being eaten. I’ve not seen Thais’ buy them either. I’ll get some video of people eating them when I go back there in a few months.

I should have a whole section here on edible bugs and animals they eat in Isaan… now that would make for interesting reading and picture gazing…

Farang – Thai Dinner Dates

Farang - Thai Dinner Dates

I used to have a problem with this one, but after a couple
of times of having to pay for the family and friends of
girls I hardly knew at all I put an end to it.

Now I’m practically married, but when I was dating and
I found a new girl to ask to dinner I would ask if she
wanted to go. Maybe 30% of the time that girl would
say something about bringing her friend. If I had in my
mind that I was just going to be friends with the girl I’d
let her invite someone. In Isaan when a girl is seen out
with someone – especially a farang – they are dating.
The entire town or village will know before sunset.

That’s Isaan and quite a few other smaller places in
Thailand.

Now, it’s the 70% of the girls that don’t mention any-
thing at all about bringing others to what you think is
a private dinner that can ruin the evening.

After they said, “Yes”, and 95% of the time a Thai
girl WILL say yes to dinner not because she likes you,
but, because she LOVES with every cell of her body,
MK Sooki Yaki at the mall. A good percentage of
the time the girl will ask – “Can we go to MK?”
To the other percentage that didn’t ask, I usually
asked them, “Do you want to go to MK?” That way
there were genuine smiles all around and I had a
better chance of having a good time.

After we picked a place, I would ask just to be sure.
“We will go to dinner ALONE, yes?”. I would get
her to understand this point if it took 10 minutes
and resulted in her deciding that she couldn’t go
with me without also having friends accompany
her.

There’s no sense for a farang to do something he
doesn’t want to do here. There are so many girls
that will go out with you alone – that you don’t
need to waste your time on someone that won’t.

It might be harsh, but, it’s the best way to
operate here – a farang has something of value.
His money. That’s it. But, you can use that to
some advantage sometimes.

So – be careful when you ask someone – ANY
one on a dinner or lunch date. I always wait for
the new guys I meet to tell me the stories of how
they’ve paid for the family and neighbors to eat
at the seafood restaurants. It’s funny because
it happened to me.

It doesn’t kill you once, and you’ll learn
something about Thai culture.

But, don’t do it TWICE!

Smart Guys with Bargirls as Girlfriends…

Yeah, I met this girl in a bar in Pattaya (insert any destination in Thailand) and I really fell for her… she doesn’t fit the mold of the usual bargirl… this one is different… let me tell you why….

JESUS. If I read or hear one more of these stupid *#(&%)@ articles about this…

On Stickman is another one of these articles by “WildRover” and it just gave me the pissed off attitude I need to express it here. It has been building up.

I gotta wonder about the state of the guys that are writing these articles. I’m guessing them to be no better off in their home country than a bargirl is here. WHO can come to this country… find a whore in a bar… and fall in love with her… and then rationalize that she CHANGED! How does a girl get the whore OUT of her after doing it? How? Someone please tell me!

It’s not just guys that I’m reading on Stick’s site either – it’s teachers I’m working with – that supposedly have a bachelor’s degree – one guy from America, one from England. They both seem like bright guys. They are both calling whores their girlfriends! One guy told me that he hadn’t had much success with girls back in the states – he picked the “wrong girls”… yeah, well man, open your eyes and look at what you got now! You’re WORSE off – you’re dating a whore now! Did you date prostitutes in the states?

He met this girl in Patong at a bar… and now he’s calling her his girlfriend. She comes to stay with him sometimes – a 3-hour bus trip… or he goes down there where he stays with her. She’s ugly as all hell, smokes – he doesn’t… he’s into fitness. She is 30ish… bad bargirl tattoos all over her, bad hair…

He MIGHT be 32? Nothing adds up except he’s right – he picks the wrong girls.

This guy on stick this morning that I read the first three paragraphs of… met this girl in a bar – she was being barfined. He KNOWS what she does. He falls in love with her anyway – she’s different… doesn’t fit the mold! haha! holy shit – what mold are you talking about?

WildRover says, ” I met A in Renoir on November 18th 2005, at about 10 p.m. She was with another guy (big fat, drunk English guy) and he had bar fined her so, through her friend I said I would come back tomorrow, because she was just beautiful – skinny, dark Isaan girl, captivating smile, “ the usual.” and, ” I found out later that while I was in China she went with another customer (she had to work after all), an Australian, for two nights and he was going to Jakarta for two nights then back to Bangkok, when he promised he would take her to Hua Hin.”

Jesus – I had to stop shortly after because from this point he was going to tell me how she was different and didn’t fit the “pattern”.

Wait – holy hell – he started sending her money immediately! 25000 baht per month! hahahha! listen to this…

” After two weeks together I told her I didn’t want her to go back to work in the bars. I was still cautious, because she had many stories about her previous Farang boyfriends. She said she had never been with a Thai boyfriend since she was sixteen. I asked her how much she needed to stay out of the bars and she would not answer. I asked if 15,000 THB would be enough (my first time at this!). She said yes, but when I pushed a bit about her actual living costs I figured this would just cover the basics, so settled on BHT25,000 per month. Later, after about another three months, she told me her previous BF was giving her 60,000 a month. My silent reaction was “sucker!” but then I did the numbers and figured that if she worked 20 nights a month and did customers 15 nights a month, and got a reasonable 2,500 THB each night she could easily have made this much when you added in the drink commissions from the bar. However, she was still happy with 25,000 THB (and still is to this day) and has never asked me for more.”

UGGHHHHH*#**#*#**#~! Yeah, girls working in a restaurant make 7,000 baht per month! She’s got enough to save $500 USD per month? When he went back to her village he said the family treated him with a lot of respect! hahaha! yeah, he just bought them a car and fourteen bat gold chains! I’d kiss your feet ANYTIME you visited me. Respect out of financing me goes a long way… behind your back they’re laughing their brown eyes black.

So – in my own humbly expressed opinion, this poor sap is going down a losing path.

What is stickman’s comment to this guy…? “From the sound of it she has most likely left the bar scene, so any check would be to verify the existence of boyfriends outside of the bar scene. Due to the sporadic nature of travels by many Western guys to and from Thailand, this can be more difficult to determine.

But overall, it sounds like she is on the straight and narrow.”

WHAT??? Am I THE ONE nuts here? On the straight and narrow what? Lines of coke?

I can’t believe he didn’t tell the guy to run with his money into Isaan and find a girl that is worthy of giving money to stay chaste.

So, that’s what I’m telling him.

Please, for the love of YOURSELF… save your money… spend it on a trip to the northeast sometime. Meet a girl in a mall that has something going for her… whether that’s college, a job, or nothing at all… she might have NOTHING going for her – except you… and send her 10,000 baht per month which is MORE than girls with no skills make even in Bangkok, and be much happier and have fewer games. Maybe you’ll still have games, maybe not… but you won’t be dealing with issues of a girl that recently dropped out of the bar scene because you gave her money to do it…

signed,

frustrated as all hell

(PS: Yep, I fell for one too when I first got here – hence the anger behind this rant. I vowed to help make other farang smarter because of it… Hahaha – like I’m so well-intentioned now… hahah… anyway – that’s the reason for the tone of this post…)