Thailand Has Zebra Gods?

Buddhism and Animism have been all blended together in Thailand and at the top of a hill next to the highway I flew by this zebra shrine at 105 kph. I asked myself for the next few seconds – “Did I just see that?”.

I turned around and found the biggest zebra shrine I’ve ever seen in Thailand before. In fact, I don’t think I remember seeing one before.

I asked the people praying at the zebra shrine altar what it was all about – and the guy told me – luck, which is just about all I caught from him. He spoke Thai fast and it was southern Thai – so, I’m always lost there. It sounds like – aaaaaeeeoooowwwweeeeeyyyyyaaaaaa and I get lost in the first sentence trying to figure out what in the world he could be saying.

I did hear – prayers and luck. Apparently he brought a zebra up there and lit some incense and was expecting some good luck for it.

When was the last time you saw someone pray to zebras for luck?

Right, me neither…

Click to enlarge

Click to enlarge.

 

Pay 10 THB for Your 1 Year Old to See Buddhist Sculptures in Thailand

This was a ridiculous moment I have to write about. I’ve not said anything negative about experiences in Thailand much lately – but this was so absurd I immediately shot a video of what happened – and still contemplating putting it on YouTube.

We go to see the Sculpture Park in Nong Khai. It’s a bunch of Buddhas and things made of concrete – but in the old style – almost like you’d see in Cambodia or Ayuddyha. I love taking photos – so we wanted to see it.

I had just had a WTF moment with the woman selling herbal remedies – along with multiple sizes of giant penises – all bigger than reality – I’m guessing. I was almost at the end of the video – filming these things… when I found the king kong penis for 900 THB. Then I saw two holes in the base of the shaft that suggested I could loop a necklace through there. I asked the woman repeatedly – not putting her on camera – but just asking – can I put this on a necklace? She gave me the harshest look and just stared at me… I must have asked 3 times. Finally I gave up and made jokes about it.

Then we go for admission into this sculpture park.

It’s 20 THB for foreigners – and 10 THB for Thais. I don’t mind paying the difference – at least it’s nothing like what the Thailand National Park fees are for foreigners versus Thais. I gave her 40 THB and waited for her to hand back the 10 THB. She didn’t. My wife said – come on – that must be it.

I said, “No, it’s not it – there are two people – me and you.”

I said to the woman – 10 Baht chai mai kup?

She said, No – children are 10 Baht.

I said – my 1 Year Old Daughter is 10 THB?

She said – yes, even babies are 10 THB.

I said – WTF?

I shot the video ridiculing the place.

Let’s see – I cannot remember ever in my entire life seeing a charge for a 1 yr old. Can you?

Wait, I mean – BESIDES Air Asia’s 500 THB charge for our 1 year old – besides that.

Maybe I’ll find a lot more of this as time goes on – I hope not though. Seems like a great way to piss people off.

Leeches on the Bollocks….


I may be getting old.

I’m 40 now and everything I see makes me think about the negative consequences…

When I was young I ruled the world. I played soccer (football) for 18 years. I ran running races. I competed in bicycle races. I climbed mountains. I did triathlons. I spear-fished almost daily for years. I’ve ridden 15 foot surf on the North shore of Oahu… I’ve mountain biked down treacherous paths both in Virginia and on Oahu. I’ve caught deadly snakes. I’ve snuck out of the house and taken the car at 15 (and crashed it). I’ve surf-fished chest high in the ocean in Florida and been knocked into by a “bull shark?” that was pulling the trout off the stringer that I asked my g/f to place around her neck… (she was being pulled under while the shark barrelled into me!)… I’ve done all kinds of whacky shi& when I was younger than 18 which we’ll not go into… In Tampa I’d race my Acura Integra up Dale Mabry highway late at night and be doing 130+ and feeling like it was the coolest thing in the world… felt good to be alive… or in Hawaii in the Air Force I’d take my motorbike off-road in a split second decision if I saw a path – and just fly through the woods fast and recklessly!

Just because I COULD.

But now, look at me… I’m getting like my friend Dave – afraid of life.

What happened to me?

I see these kids at the waterfall having the time of their lives – they were locals – had swam there many weekends… and all I can think about is that they are diving WAY too close to the side of the rocks, but not only that – what about submerged rocks?

I’ve met a guy paralyzed by a dive into a freshwater swimming hole. He’s an accountant in Maui now. Had a promising career as a tennis pro before it happened. Now he goes back and forth to work in his wheelchair enabled van, sits at a computer and goes home and sits in front of the TV.

That bothered me man… this guy was in MAUI! I was going out everyday and surfing, bodyboarding, snorkeling, spear-fishing, body surfing, climbing all kinds of ridges and seeing things that he’d NEVER get to see because the wheelchair doesn’t get him there.

I think that’s why what these kids was doing was eating me.

But, it’s not just that. I am generally afraid of all kinds of stuff now. Did I get smarter or just more paranoid?

My g/f and I went to rent a movie last night about 7:30 pm. It’s dark… I’m riding slower than I EVER have… about 40km per hour – because I was thinking about some blogging issues I had to resolve… and when I drive slow I can think too… and this kid goes FLYING by me on the left side of me – maybe doing 70 and he was NOWHERE near me really – 8 feet away – and my whole body cringed up like a dog being beat.

What happened to me man!

I feel like I should start doing something crazy again just to get my bollocks back. In fact, the recent snake hunting trips did that to some degree… adventure and danger…

Anyway, that’s the thought theme today… as I go to a waterfall and attempt to see the top 2 levels I’ve not been able to find before. Hopefully will come back with some pictures of leeches stuck to us.

My friend had a leech on his bollocks the other week and NOBODY took a picture. Can you imagine the VIRAL potential of a picture like that? I might put one on my bolls just to pass it around! Yah, in fact, i WILL! Shhhh, don’t tell my g/f.

She’s going to stay at the base of the waterfall while we go up – leeches REALLY skeeve her out.

Ok – have fun- it’s a weekend…

Vern

Bottled Green Grass Air fresh from Surat, Thailand…

Bottled fresh green grass air for sale
Bottled green grassy air fresh from Surat Thani, Thailand…

40 Thai Baht. We have in limited quantities right now, but we’ll ramp up production to a mega-scale if this stuff takes off as it should.

What we’re offering is not so dissimilar from the canned fresh mountain air that is offered here that Richard Barrow told me about through one of his blogs. (You gotta check out his blogs – he has some interesting topics and photos.)

Back to business…

But, OUR AIR has that freshly terrorist cut aromatic taint to it. I don’t know why – but terrorists cut our grass.

Be the first to give us 40 baht. We’re launching an ENTERPRISE on this Saturday morning!

See our special bottling process video – please DO NOT share this – it is only for blog readers…

Bottling terrorist cut fresh grassy air from Thailand video >

Not too smart…

I made a video today about a bird not being too smart – and just realized – i made it come true about myself.

Driving back from getting a cooked chicken to go (on the motorbike) some guy passed between two of us motorbike riders with very little room,between us, not hitting us but very close… and revving the engine really loudly – and i figured he’s acting like a jackass… my VERY reserved girlfriend called him “crazy” as he passed

so – when he ground the gears very loudly i laughed almost as loud

and told my g/f that he just ground his motorbike gears up a lot…

well he heard me and turned around. he made a turn and then waited there watching me – staring at me to see who i am i guess… my girlfriend has told me that everyone can see that i’m farang – and that my face is totally different even with the helmet.

so – i looked at him too for a second – sizing him up. He was a skinny guy, maybe 20 something, longish hair.

Was he going to follow us? He stopped dead and made no effort to disguise that he was staring straight at me.

Realizing my girlfriend was on the back I turned my head and looked forward. That was my first thought, but then my second thought was, doesn’t matter ANYWAY. If I get into a fight with ANY Thai guy – I’m fighting 2, 3, or maybe 10 of them.

I drove past and kept looking back to see if he was following us.

We live in a small town and we were close to our house at the market. EVERYONE is aware where we live, or could find out very easily by asking a couple people…

Guess it’d be easy to burn the house down or something. Give me a club or machete to the back of the head as i’m riding the motorbike someday.

When I got home I started to think… maybe his motorbike really had a problem – and he was revving it just to keep it going – in hindsight .

I think that… and i think that he must have felt like, he lost face – in traffic – having to rev it to keep it going – and me laughing at him when he ground the gears.

I think i wasn’t the smart bird tonight- how ironic if this is what kills me. A laugh. A sarcastic laugh like i do so much and so well- it even translated across cultures… the anger in his eyes when he was staring makes me know that his anger won’t go away anytime soon.

Some alcohol or som ya-ba and he may come with a few of his friends to get into the house and give some payback. That would suck. I have little here to protect us with. a slide out metal club… a 4 inch knife with locking blade… a 3-piece screw together 3-pronged spear I brought from Hawaii

What else do i have? my smarts? when i’m stressed and in danger- i cant think -so that’s why i need to think now.

1st – what are the chances he’ll return tonight?

My thought process:

-it’s friday night.

– it’s easy to break in this house if someone wanted to. Sure we have bars all over every door and window – but, come on. What are they screwed into? the wood frame which would come right out of the wall if ran into by one or two guys.

Not to mention, they are screwed in – and all it would take is a screwdriver and a half hour to remove ANY of the bars cleanly and quietly.

– it’s easy to find where I live – could ask anyone.

– It’s easier for him to get drunk now because he’s pissed off as it is. Not that he needs any excuse. Thai guys don’t.

– he rode up the rode that I USUALLY ride up on the way home from the sports park where i run. I always ride there without a helmet. EVERYONE there knows me and probably which complex I live in.

Then, I go over the probability of things:

odds that he returns tonight – 60%

odds that if he doesn’t come tonight he comes tomorrow – 20%

odds that if he sees me sometime – and has friends- he’ll follow me or crash into me and his friends will beat me – 70%

Other extenuating or exacerbating factors…

I’m a farang – seen as rich…

jealousy… and losing face…

and upset already that he has this forshit motorbike that isn’t running well.

the odds might be higher.

i dont want to die in a street fight- really I don’t.

And yet, in America I wouldn’t feel any of this. Things are taken care of then and there. If this happened we’d have confronted each other and that would have been it.

Probably not fight about it, I might have even apologized because I know I shouldn’t laugh when I see people get what they deserve, – and yet, it just pops out sometimes on it’s own.

Fights in the military were fair. ALWAYS fair. One guy on one guy. I lost a couple at first but learned a couple things that almost never failed.

Thai guys are NOT good street fighters.

More thoughts…

options to stay alive over next couple weeks – months –

1. Move. Move into mansion or into place on other side of town.

2. Hire Muay Thai figher to protect me during day. Cost: 300b/day – 9000b month

3. Move now and go to a different school somewhere – this school is not being honest about work permit… not sure if i can even work after this term.

i gotta think – too stressed… wow.

bad bad bad move… dumber than a bird that can’t chirp to me correctly… :P

(update: I wrote this 2 weeks ago. I’ve layed low around here, chose not to move to a different place… I haven’t seen the guy yet but I’m not running at that park anymore either. This was a good excuse to lock myself in the house everynight and write my blogs. LOL. I stopped carrying around an extendable metal rod last week. Perhaps he’s forgotten. I haven’t. Still on alert…)

What is the ThaiPulse Blog about?


Latest Update: 26 January 2017

ThaiPulse/blog/ is an effort to create an interesting expat web blog about life in Thailand without suffusing it with story after story of sexual “conquest” like many forums and other sites devoted to Thailand.

Thailand has so much more going for it than sex-tourism and yet the world sees it like a big vagina. But, there is more… a whooooooole lot more.

I want to show you the “more.” I want my mom to read this and shudder at the horror of it all and yet, in the end – come over for a visit because I’ve showed her a different way to see the country. (Update – She has been here).

If one were to weigh the positive and negative sites that are out there and talking about Thailand – I’d say that the popular sites were the ones that were talking about sex. My goal is to be the number one web site in Thailand without mentioning that topic all that much. It’s a side-effect of what I’m writing, not the main draw.

Thailand is SO different from life in America that at times I am sure my flight to Bangkok actually landed on another parallel, but whacky planet.

It’s difficult to fill a blog everyday with something that MOST of you visitors will want to read. It’s impossible actually, but if I put enough goodstuff up here and you read a good portion of it and tell somebody about it… then in a year – I’ll have a good amount of traffic.

Please leave comments – and I’ll comment on your comments as soon as I see that you left one. I like some interactivity, but this will never become a forum because forums are from hell and I don’t want to go there too often. Unfortunately they are a necessary evil since they have lots of new and good information, it’s just PULLING that information out is more difficult.

If you have a site related to Thailand and you want to swap links, let me know and maybe we can do that.If you link your blog off your home page to mine – I will do the same for you. If you link one page of your blog to my home page I will do the same. Google sees swapping links as swapping votes and it’s always a good thing for two sites that are related to swap.

I’ll be adding new stuff as we go along. There will be videos added, photos added and notecard equations added frequently.

I have a number of other websites about Thailand and other related topics. Here are some:

Vern