Farang and Bargirl Relationships in Thailand…

Farang and bargirl relationships in Thailand

(Last updated: 29 December 2016)

I’m thinking that these notecards are better off done in a graphics program, but my g/f likes them better handwritten like this. I’m sort of ambivalent except hand writing these goes much more quickly. MUCH by a factor of 10 much.

Farang-bargirl relationships are doomed from the start. That’s my own personal take on it. You can’t possibly think that a girl that has lied to everyone she knows for a period of months or years will EVER come around and start telling you the truth about everything she is doing, the friends she has, the guys she knows abroad that are sending her money for years after you’ve married her… the different bank accounts, the numerous cell phone SIM cards she has.

You wouldn’t date a girl like this in your own country so why in he11 would you date and MARRY one here?

I know the temptation must be overwhelming to some. Some guys have not had a girlfriend during their entire LIVES and they come here and suddenly they have 3 girls – all 10/10 fawning over them and making promises to love them long time…

A guy like that is going to be duped into believing totally unbelievable BS and worse, can be led down the path to marriage very easily.

This is really so far from reality that to those of us that can see it (and I can only see it because I fell for a girl that was “not” a bargirl, but then, ended up to BE a bargirl!!!) that it defies explanation.

The need to be loved… to conquer a beautiful 10/10 girl and have her falling at your feet is a part of life that these guys will do anything to experience.

Once they start playing that game, the girls know just how to milk every baht from them and ditch them when the baht stops flowing or slows down to a level that isn’t worth their time.

Guys that come to Thailand looking for a girl, a girl that they are going to spend their entire life with – or at least a percentage should really do the
following:

Look for girls here:

  • Mukdahan
  • Sisaket
  • Surin
  • Yasothon
  • Ubon
  • Loei – or any other backwoods city in the
    northeast

Limit spending on “your girl” for 1st year to:

60000 baht. That’s 5000/mth and more than enough for EVERY girl in Isaan to live happily on. They DO IT FOR LESS.

3 strikes you’re out:

If “your girl” doesn’t answer the phone 3 times during the course of you knowing her – drop her. No, I’m not joking. A Thai girl can answer her phone AND have a conversation at 100km/hr on a motorbike. She KNOWS when the phone goes off at all times. The phone is their life.
If she misses 3 of your calls, there are 3 very good (or bad) reasons why. Drop her and move on to the next.

Count how many times “your girl” mentions money in the course of 1 year. A bargirl, or a girl with a similar mentality that is focused on money and sees you as an ATM will mention money once per day or so. This is a MINIMUM.

My g/f from Isaan has mentioned needing money exactly twice in our 2+ year relationship. Once she was in Bangkok and didn’t have enough money for the train ticket back home (600b). The other time was when she needed some clothes for work (1500b).

Other than that I give her 4000 per month and she has been happy with that. THIS is how a good Thai girl should be… HAPPY that she doesn’t have to go to work at a chicken parts factory because you will pay her 4000 baht per month, pay for her food and her rent and phone cards.

That’s it.

If you don’t have a relationship similar to this – then you have found a parasite that is milking you for money.

Good relationships exist in Thailand, it’s just that finding one takes more than the minute it takes you to enter a bar, have your future wife sit beside you and give you a crotch grope and ask for a drink.

Invest 1 week, 2 weeks, a month in Isaan. Hang out at the malls or shopping areas. DON’T date the girls working at the shops – as they seem to be ex-pattaya and Patong girls for some reason.

Especially Robinsons. I’m not sure why.

Don’t date ANY Thai girl with a Tattoo. Good girls don’t get them here. (Update 2016- many girls are getting them. Trust me, no girl that hasn’t worked in a bar gets a huge spread eagle across the top of her ass!)

Go to the college library and sit around with your laptop in Isaan and see how many smiles you will get. Turn a smile into a “practice your English” session and you’ll be on your way.

Be careful because though you may be in Isaan, even some college girls have friends that are plying the sex-trade in tourist places in LOS. If she mentions money at all when you first meet. She is one of those girls that knows the game from that perspective. For what ever reasons… she thinks farang = ATM. Move on.

There are THOUSANDS UPON PRECIOUS THOUSANDS of drop-dead gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet and innocent girls in Isaan at the colleges.

Put a little time in there and see what you can find.

Your chances for finding a lasting relationship will improve by a factor of “9” and you’ll look less stupid in a group, bringing your covered with tattoos, smoking cigarettes, underwear and bra-showing Thai girlfriend or wife for everyone to laugh at.

Case in point. A teacher from England at my school brought his bargirl girlfriend (his word) to a school function where the kids are to put on a play.

All the teachers are there, the parents are there…. and this guy brings his black as charcoal girlfriend (number 1 bargirl identifier), covered with tattoos (#2), with her ultra tight and short skirt (#3), pierced nose (#4) and low cut shirt (#5) to the children’s function!

I was sitting at a table with the other Thai teachers in the English program. When my friend and this girl walked in – in Thai the teachers said she was ugly and a whore!

They knew INSTANTANEOUSLY.

So – this is part of the reason farang get no respect here in Thailand. We don’t know how to act. A Thai man would never, EVER in his life bring a whore to a children’s function at the place they work! NEVER!

Actually, the only guys that are EVER in public with a whore is when they are pimps themselves or brothers or fathers.

Thai guys are very aware of their standing in the community. Even a large community. There is no anonymity here. Everyone knows everyone. Farangs – even more so. There are people that know my name in the town that I’ve never seen. They know more about me than I could have ever guessed.

Thai culture is built on face – and levels of face. Walking around with whores from Pattaya is a sure way to get zero respect in Thailand. You might think – oh, they love my wife… in truth – they all are calling her whore and nobody likes her or you for bringing her.

Anyway – I’m a bit out of material!

Don’t date bargirls for more than a night!

Author: Vern

I'm an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at ThailandeBooks.com. There are many photographs of Thailand here - feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page). All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.

28 thoughts on “Farang and Bargirl Relationships in Thailand…”

  1. A bargirl f*cked with your heart and spended your money – and this is your payback??

    You should have done your homework before messing with the girls of LOS – this is as low as you can go – you’re still a sorry fool who got cheated…

    – Jaspar –

  2. Hi,
    You say 4000 b. for a girl in isan is enought…what do you think about a girl with a baby in Phuket?

  3. Vern, my American friend Robert who lives in Khonkaen laid it out for one of this friends who was wife-shopping in Thailand:

    1. you can’t meet a nice girl after dark.
    2. you can’t meet a nice girl in a bar.
    3. you can’t meet a nice girl in town.

    he went on to say that the girl his friend wants is a virgin from a village who doesn’t work in town. and then he offered to have his Thai mother-in-law introduce him to a nice girl from her village.

    being in Khonkaen was an amazing experience as over time i saw the same women with different men as they came and went. no telling how much money they get from them, and all the men think they are the only one, lol. once i was sitting in a bar and a guy next to us answered his phone: “ok, me good man – i send you money.” holy crap, what an idiot. he went on and on, obviously placating some bar girl who went off on him about money, talking in 3 y/o English. the other guys were rolling their eyes. the guy on the phone was young….

  4. why not just hire a girl as a cook or housekeeper. and have a 20yr fling with her if you want? you could avoid all this trying to conceptuialise your relatiuonship. let the sex be out of affection and the work be paid. if the affection disappears, she’s still got a job as a cook and housekeeper . you’ll drive yourself nuts trying to justify that you’re essentially paying for her to be your wife. if you stop giving her the 4000thb do you really think she’d got work? i don’t know. but with the arrangement you have the question wil always be there.

  5. Vern said: There was an anonymous comment that I have to edit because I don’t want commenters to gripe out other commenters, but here’s the essence of what the guy said…

    There are two types of guy-girl relationships… the one where you leave the money on the nightstand or the one where you are doing the installment plan and payments over the long-term.

    He said, if you think it’s any different for you, you are not from this planet (dummed down from his tirade!). Lol.

    Commenters can disagree with others – but, not cuss them out or call them stupid. You cannot call someone gay or a 12-year old either… lol. I found the comment funny as hell, but I don’t want this to degenerate into ThaiVisa type forum banter which I can’t stand and don’t see the reason for…

  6. Thank you, I’m glad you like the site! Some things are fun to write about, bargirls and ladyboys are two subjects that are always fun. Today I’ll have more drunk farang yelling and walking down the street audio or video – not sure which yet. Good fun, good fun! Vern

  7. “never give any money to any woman”

    that’s a very weird view. I prefer my girl to live with me and do the household just like vern wrote. I love to come home and everything is just perfect.

    If that works well for the girl i’m quiet happy to pay for her life – our life. What’s wrong with that?

    5 years ago my mother died very suddenly because of cancer. She told me that one wisdom i’ll never forget: “I can’t take anything with me.”

    Ever since I try to save enough money to pay for live after work – retirement. Why not share the rest with the ones I love?

    Why not buy a Pick-up for my wife’s family, a new fridge whatever.

    The only thing that matters: is the girl honest – will she stick to me until retirement and beyond

  8. I wouldn’t give a girl in england money let alone a thai whore…why would anyone spend money on a woman????????????????????????????

    Sheer stupidity, if they’re doing stuff for you it should be for love not for money, never give any woman any money at any time….ever

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