Farang and Bargirl Relationships in Thailand…

Farang and bargirl relationships in Thailand

(Last updated: 29 December 2016)

I’m thinking that these notecards are better off done in a graphics program, but my g/f likes them better handwritten like this. I’m sort of ambivalent except hand writing these goes much more quickly. MUCH by a factor of 10 much.

Farang-bargirl relationships are doomed from the start. That’s my own personal take on it. You can’t possibly think that a girl that has lied to everyone she knows for a period of months or years will EVER come around and start telling you the truth about everything she is doing, the friends she has, the guys she knows abroad that are sending her money for years after you’ve married her… the different bank accounts, the numerous cell phone SIM cards she has.

You wouldn’t date a girl like this in your own country so why in he11 would you date and MARRY one here?

I know the temptation must be overwhelming to some. Some guys have not had a girlfriend during their entire LIVES and they come here and suddenly they have 3 girls – all 10/10 fawning over them and making promises to love them long time…

A guy like that is going to be duped into believing totally unbelievable BS and worse, can be led down the path to marriage very easily.

This is really so far from reality that to those of us that can see it (and I can only see it because I fell for a girl that was “not” a bargirl, but then, ended up to BE a bargirl!!!) that it defies explanation.

The need to be loved… to conquer a beautiful 10/10 girl and have her falling at your feet is a part of life that these guys will do anything to experience.

Once they start playing that game, the girls know just how to milk every baht from them and ditch them when the baht stops flowing or slows down to a level that isn’t worth their time.

Guys that come to Thailand looking for a girl, a girl that they are going to spend their entire life with – or at least a percentage should really do the
following:

Look for girls here:

  • Mukdahan
  • Sisaket
  • Surin
  • Yasothon
  • Ubon
  • Loei – or any other backwoods city in the
    northeast

Limit spending on “your girl” for 1st year to:

60000 baht. That’s 5000/mth and more than enough for EVERY girl in Isaan to live happily on. They DO IT FOR LESS.

3 strikes you’re out:

If “your girl” doesn’t answer the phone 3 times during the course of you knowing her – drop her. No, I’m not joking. A Thai girl can answer her phone AND have a conversation at 100km/hr on a motorbike. She KNOWS when the phone goes off at all times. The phone is their life.
If she misses 3 of your calls, there are 3 very good (or bad) reasons why. Drop her and move on to the next.

Count how many times “your girl” mentions money in the course of 1 year. A bargirl, or a girl with a similar mentality that is focused on money and sees you as an ATM will mention money once per day or so. This is a MINIMUM.

My g/f from Isaan has mentioned needing money exactly twice in our 2+ year relationship. Once she was in Bangkok and didn’t have enough money for the train ticket back home (600b). The other time was when she needed some clothes for work (1500b).

Other than that I give her 4000 per month and she has been happy with that. THIS is how a good Thai girl should be… HAPPY that she doesn’t have to go to work at a chicken parts factory because you will pay her 4000 baht per month, pay for her food and her rent and phone cards.

That’s it.

If you don’t have a relationship similar to this – then you have found a parasite that is milking you for money.

Good relationships exist in Thailand, it’s just that finding one takes more than the minute it takes you to enter a bar, have your future wife sit beside you and give you a crotch grope and ask for a drink.

Invest 1 week, 2 weeks, a month in Isaan. Hang out at the malls or shopping areas. DON’T date the girls working at the shops – as they seem to be ex-pattaya and Patong girls for some reason.

Especially Robinsons. I’m not sure why.

Don’t date ANY Thai girl with a Tattoo. Good girls don’t get them here. (Update 2016- many girls are getting them. Trust me, no girl that hasn’t worked in a bar gets a huge spread eagle across the top of her ass!)

Go to the college library and sit around with your laptop in Isaan and see how many smiles you will get. Turn a smile into a “practice your English” session and you’ll be on your way.

Be careful because though you may be in Isaan, even some college girls have friends that are plying the sex-trade in tourist places in LOS. If she mentions money at all when you first meet. She is one of those girls that knows the game from that perspective. For what ever reasons… she thinks farang = ATM. Move on.

There are THOUSANDS UPON PRECIOUS THOUSANDS of drop-dead gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet and innocent girls in Isaan at the colleges.

Put a little time in there and see what you can find.

Your chances for finding a lasting relationship will improve by a factor of “9” and you’ll look less stupid in a group, bringing your covered with tattoos, smoking cigarettes, underwear and bra-showing Thai girlfriend or wife for everyone to laugh at.

Case in point. A teacher from England at my school brought his bargirl girlfriend (his word) to a school function where the kids are to put on a play.

All the teachers are there, the parents are there…. and this guy brings his black as charcoal girlfriend (number 1 bargirl identifier), covered with tattoos (#2), with her ultra tight and short skirt (#3), pierced nose (#4) and low cut shirt (#5) to the children’s function!

I was sitting at a table with the other Thai teachers in the English program. When my friend and this girl walked in – in Thai the teachers said she was ugly and a whore!

They knew INSTANTANEOUSLY.

So – this is part of the reason farang get no respect here in Thailand. We don’t know how to act. A Thai man would never, EVER in his life bring a whore to a children’s function at the place they work! NEVER!

Actually, the only guys that are EVER in public with a whore is when they are pimps themselves or brothers or fathers.

Thai guys are very aware of their standing in the community. Even a large community. There is no anonymity here. Everyone knows everyone. Farangs – even more so. There are people that know my name in the town that I’ve never seen. They know more about me than I could have ever guessed.

Thai culture is built on face – and levels of face. Walking around with whores from Pattaya is a sure way to get zero respect in Thailand. You might think – oh, they love my wife… in truth – they all are calling her whore and nobody likes her or you for bringing her.

Anyway – I’m a bit out of material!

Don’t date bargirls for more than a night!

Author: Vern

I’m an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at ThailandeBooks.com. There are many photographs of Thailand here – feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page).

All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.

28 thoughts on “Farang and Bargirl Relationships in Thailand…”

  1. Yeah, your Gf/wife isn’t a whore. Because in that case I’m a whore too. Always willing to break the mold, my Thai GF was richer than I was so she gave me money sometimes. I’m prolly the only guy I know who went to Thailand to get taken care of by a rich lady *younger* than himself. I love the reactions I got. Some guys just want to shake your hand – but in all honesty I was in love. She’s Chinese and knows how to talk to people too, like they are afraid of her – I later found out that I’d prolly not want to upset her too much or I’d be metabolically challenged in short order.

    Anyway it’s tough for middle class Thai girls because they don’t want to look like a whore just by virtue of having a Farang BF. So they want things to be extra proper out in public. If you do have a normal middle class GF you will start to see her checking out girls from Isan with Frang BF with the most total revulsion. It’s really obvious who’s on the game and who isn’t after you get your whoredar working. It’s like gaydar – I didn’t know Elton John was gay as a teen, now I can tell if you’ve had one university indiscretion – same with whoredar. I can tell if someones danced a season, now, with 98% accuracy.

    Bar girls are for chumps and losers.Na na na, that’s how THAI people see it – If you couldn’t get a date in your own country and now all of a sudden you can – did you have a personality transplant?! Face lift? If not, they you know the score if you have a new hot GF. Hey that’s ok, but don’t fool yourself and EVERY Thai person will know, NO MATTER HOW SHE DRESSES. Don’t fool yourself about that either. If you get a “normal” girl after your bar girl, you will notice that you get mucho respecto from Thais compared to before and have a zillion less problems in general.

    I read quickly but nobody metioed “Gigs” – the amount of Gigs (other BFs, lovers, booty calls, etc) she has is normally directly proportional to how hot she is if she’s a bar girl. You see in Thai culture your an IDIOT if you’re hot and got some cash and you DO NOT have a GIG. Not having a Gig with some Thai men, will be a sign that you are a loser some how, with a lot of Thai men, actually. If you happen to be really attractive, some girls won’t date you because there will just be to many Gigs to compete with/threaten/attack/get attacked buy, and they just won’t want the hassle. Seriously – if you’re half way attractive, and go to teach, they will ask you if you’re GF KNOWS that you’re going to be working here? Because of all the pussy that is going to throw itself at you is going to freak her the feck out! I was told that outright at Wall St.

  2. Hi Vern
    Thanks for the advice. It seems to me that Thai girls are only interested in one thing, money. And judging by all the threads I have come across online, there are no exceptions. All these stories appear to end up with the guy running out of funds, or finding that their beloved has been cheating on them while away earning money.
    Luckily, I have always had a deep mistrust of most women, due to many bad experiences. I find that in most cultures a relationship can be based on money, especially in the UK. I have been particularly cautious in this relationship, having explained to her that I don’t believe in marriage, and that I am unwilling to pay for her to visit me. Nor has she ever asked for anything form me.
    However, Judging by the feedback I have read online, it is probably quite likely that she will try and screw me over. In the mean time, I am prepared mentally for such an occasion. Having had a lot of fun with the girl with two amazing holidays, learning about her family, friends and culture, I feel I have gained in this respect.
    I am due to fly out with friends in 2 weeks for 12 nights, and will have a serious talk with her at the end of the holiday. If we break up then I probably wont bother with another Thai girl, and just remember the relationship as a great experience in the rich tapestry of life….

    1. Nice – sounds like you have your head on straight. Not that she will ever try to screw you over – or even make money her prime consideration for living… but, the chances are pretty damn high. If you’re a risk taker you might take a chance. She could turn out to be an amazing girl, partner, and wife… but, mother of your children? How do guys choose bargirls to become the mothers of their children?????? That always stumps the hell outta me. Anyway – that’s a long way off. Cheers man – good luck – have fun.

  3. I visited Thailand 5 months ago with the intention of training in thai boxing. After 3 weeks at the camp I sustained an injury to my knee, and had to stop. I decided to venture out of the camp for the first time at night, and ended up in a ladybar. I am 22 years old, athletic build and considered to be quite handsome.
    I met a lovely girl there and ended up taking her back to my accommodation. After 5 days, taking her out for dinner etc and just having fun, i gave her 5000bht. She accepted the money, and i asked her to leave me, as i was beginning to become attached and quite fond of her. She returned to my accommodation the next day, said she missed me. I missed her too. After another 10 days, i had mixed feelings; i felt that i had fallen in love, but understood that she was a prostitute and that it was an illusion. I took out 10000 from my wallet to pay her for the time she had spent with me and she refused it.
    When I left Thailand she was devastated. However, I was not looking for love or any sort of relationship. She continued to call me from Thailand every day and we spent hours chatting on skype. After 2 months back home I booked a flight back to Thailand. We spent another 10 days together, and towards the end I had run out of money and told her that I had to leave early. The next day, I woke up and she had slid 5000 baht into my wallet.
    On returning back to the UK to finish my masters degree, I explained to her that I could not come back for a long time, and offered to send her some money. She refused, and had no interest in my money. She is aware that I am not wealthy.
    Now I am about to visit for the third time in 6 months. I had doubts to start with, but now I’m sure this is something real. Not all bar girls are the same. Not all are after money. Conclusion, love is sometimes found in strange places….

    1. Hi Martin –

      Awesome story – and thanks for sharing that!

      Allow me to play devil’s advocate… returning money that you gave is probably one of the major plays in a bargirl’s book of tricks. She wants to show you that she’s not interested in money… however, she IS more interested in the long-term money which will amount to much more than 5,000 THB. She probably does like you. You probably do like her. She’s a human being – which is something I rarely discuss here on this blog, preferring to focus on all the negatives of bargirls… She would love to get the hell out of that industry, it sounds like. There are relatively few handsome, young, decent guys that go to Pattaya, or any of the other sex tourist places. She feels like she has found her prize – her dream… and maybe she has. Doesn’t matter that you have little money now – you just got your master’s degree…

      She’s hoping desperately that she made a good impression on you and that you will return to whisk her away to farangland and make everything right in her life… whether you do it is entirely up to you, and though sad, I’d never recommend it. In fact, if you were my friend, I’d pull your dumbass out of the illusion before it seriously takes hold. Do you realize how many million AMAZING girls there are in Thailand that were never whores or even entered a bar? Ubon and Khon Kaen universities… I highly recommend them.

      Get your head straight and find a good girl to start with! I think you’ll be happier in the end…

  4. Fonzi you need to do some reading buddy. Love and money are one in the same in Thai culture. Not just for bargirls – for all girls. Bargirls exploit it more but to show your love to a Thai women, you must show her support. It’s not some twisted bullshit a bargirl forced down my throat – it’s a documented fact and well known by every Thai person in the country. There are some things that are just taken for granted and never talked about here. If you appear to not understand this concept, Thai people will just think you’re sticky shit.

  5. Hi Jaspar – do your own homework… pay particular attention to verb tenses. Jackass.

    *******

    Hi anonymous – most anonymous replies don’t get on this blog because it’s losers that are afraid to put their names with comments. That being said, I’m curious why you would say,
    “Pls do not pretend to know so well the Thai society and give lessons. Because you are probably only half way from an objective understanding.”

    First of all – don’t beg. You don’t know me – why subjugate yourself to me. Secondly, I don’t think I pretend to know Thai society so well – in fact, most times I’m oblivious to what’s going on.

    Whores working in bars is quite obvious to me – and those that sell access to their bodies for cash are whores, and you must be confused about that fact for some reason. If it hurts you because you married one or you’re sending money to one that has ‘changed her ways’ then you’re less than half way from an objective understanding about what’s going on.

    A whore is a woman that sells access to her body and for sexual services. Why does that word bother you. Is ‘escort’ nicer for you? Prostitute? They’re all whores. Whores, whores, whores.

  6. Hey Man, while i can understand the warnings for many naive first time farangs in Thailand, you also seem very frustrated.

    There is definitely something wrong in calling all bar girls “whores”… Pls do not pretend to know so well the Thai society and give lessons. Because you are probably only half way from an objective understanding.

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