Thailand’s Geckos, Spiders, Bees, and Dragonflies… oh, and my Underwear

Thailand's wildlife. My jockeys.
Man, there are more things flying in my house than you would believe. Back in the states if you leave your windows and doors open you might get something flying in to see what your house is all about…

A bee. Some horseflies for sure.

Here from 7 am until almost 6pm – if we’re home and I’m writing blogs all day at the dining room table – there are so many things flying in the doors and windows and running around in the house that it’s never dull. I try to get video on my little digital camera of some of the stuff. But yesterday was an insane day. I worked all day but just in the time that I WAS at home we had:

A big spider jump out of my slippers when I went to put them on to go outside to use the toilet.

Spider video >

A tiny gecko running around the stairs.

Gecko video >

A dragonfly that couldn’t find it’s way out…

Dragonfly video >

This is all in one day. In addition, we have had the following in the house…

A large 3 inch leg span mosquito (video too dark – sorry)

The coolest beetle – that you saw a picture of the other day – 2 days ago I put some pics up here. That orange and green beetle flies in here a couple times a month.

The biggest bee I’ve ever seen.

Bee video >

Millipedes, centipedes, jumping spiders, termites living under the floorboards and in the walls, big snails with shells, large black wasp type things – a huge body – over an inch long. More like 1.75 inches long. These things can sting repeatedly. I had the unfortunate luck one time of having one fly up my shorts as I was riding the motorbike in Isaan…

My g/f was on the back. I had big floppy shorts on – with leg-holes too wide to be riding the motorbike. I never had anything fly up so I was ignorant to the danger. We’re going about 105km per hour (almost 70 mph) and I feel a sting on my UPPER upper thigh. It is more like a pinch. But, I realize quickly that nothing should be stinging there – and it COULD be an insect that got stuck up there since my shorts are basically like an insect net flying through the highway at 105 catching anything that happens to be in the path.

I then feel a series of stings – that makes me get smart and KNOW I’ve got something in my pants and close to my “stuff” that COULD get my “stuff” if it got any closer – and, the stings were moving in that direction – towards the center of my crotch.

I’m a bikini man. I have worn the jockey bikini undies for 22 years. I like the snugness. Call me crazy. I’m not wearing them to be sexy – in fact, most girls wonder WHY i’m wearing speedo underwear. Anyway – so – I think my crotch is covered pretty well – but still something could sting me THROUGH the jockeys. Considering some of my underwear are 6 years old and are holy – (my g/f has taken to mending them) see mended jockeys at top of page ^

Holy jockeys and things that sting COULD make for a misadventure that was not what I set out for that morning.

I SLAM ON THE BRAKES – the right one harder than the left. My motorbike has DISC brakes that stop me quickly. TOO quickly. The front end dips hard and my g/f is pushing on me at about 70km per hour and my body is slowing her down to the same rate as the rapid decceleration of the motorbike.

My arms are buckling from the stress of both of our body’s weight!

One arm can’t take it and slips off the grip, or maybe I pulled it off and frantically beat my groin with it in hopes of killing whatever was in my pants… no matter, when we finally stopped and I damn near dropped the bike on the ground without getting the kickstand down properly – I was still flailing my left hand at my groin and uttering strange squeals. My g/f must have thought I completely lost it when I then ran down the embankment pulling off my shorts all in one movement and, seeing this nearly 2 inch long black wasp in my shorts – so close to my “stuff” – I FLIPPED OUT COMPLETELY

I was running around naked through the grass – and cars were flying by with their faces pressed up to the glass.

In Isaan on the country highways there aren’t many foreigners at all. In TOWN I didn’t see but one per day on average. Here on the highway – nobody would be expecting to see a naked foreigner running next to the highway.

There I was though, shaking my shorts and screaming like a nut… for everyone on the highway to see… kids, and grandparents…. everyone.

So – after I had beat myself about the groin crazily to make sure the wasp had flown away from my “stuff” I stood there naked for a second and realized that everyone just saw me naked.

Strange feeling.

So – I put on undies and shorts and checked my groin. 7 stings – none hitting the “mark”, but closer than they should have been.

I got smart that day.

So – when stuff flies in my house here in Thailand – I’m not all that sure – does it bite… ? There’s some weird stuff around here – poisonous frogs, lots of poisonous snakes – cobras that SPIT venom a couple meters… it’s a different world here.

So – in my videos you might see me tentative about picking up a dragonfly… or a gecko… or something else…. I’m really cautious about all kinds of things. I don’t LIKE to get bit. I don’t LIKE to get poison from a frog on my hands. Or venom in my eyes. Or bees in my shorts. I just don’t LIKE it. I am smarter than that. If I look like a wus on the video -OK. I can live with that.

:P

Author: Vern

I'm an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at ThailandeBooks.com. There are many photographs of Thailand here - feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page). All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.