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"Living in Thailand" page 3
Love but with Reservations...
At the school I was on my way out of I met a wonderful girl that was an
assistant teacher with me in the English program. She was 23 years
old. She had just graduated from a major university in the Northeast
- one of the most respected, where she was studying English and
communications. She joked with me and had a sense of humor which I
found astonishing since every Thai girl I had gone out with hadn't
felt comfortable enough with English to be able to joke around much.
This girl's vocabulary was incredible and her pronunciation was
quite good.
I began to date her - and yet also date others at the same time. In
the Northeast this is a problem. There is no real "dating" that goes
on in public in Isaan. If a man is seen with a girl together and without any
chaperones - the two are together. Might as well be married. Friends
don't go out alone together unless the guy is obviously gay. There
is such a stigma attached to the whole thing that it's shocking to
find out later that the whole town is gossiping because I walked
around the park with 3 different girls in the course of a week. The
gossip was that I was a player and that I had "many, many girls".
Which was sort of true - but why did everyone have to talk about MY
life? The farang in the northeast is the object of intense scrutinization. The Thais' LOVE to gossip about what the farang
teachers are doing in their off hours. I made the grave mistake of agreeing to rent a room in an apart ment
building that was owned by a teacher at the new school I was
teaching at. Some fellow teachers told me about the place and it
sounded great! Cheap, Air conditioning, hot water, good location,
new furniture... etc. I took it and for over a month I was happy.
That is, until I found out that every time there was a teachers
meeting at the school the owner of the apart ments would fill
everyone in on the girls I was bringing back to the room! She told
them who, how many, for how long... it was outrageous! I confronted her inside the small store that she ran adjacent to the
apart ments. Her family and her had just sat down to dinner and I
came in and told her in English (LOUDLY) that I was extremely pissed
off that she would tell others what I was doing and that it was none
of her business and etc. etc. For 5 minutes I made it very clear.
Her whole family was shocked. The funny thing is - I'm sure they all
thought that I was the jackass since WHOever loses their temper is
the one at fault and looked down upon. It doesn't matter WHAT
someone does to 'help' you LOSE your temper - if you lose it in a
disagreement - you are the idiot.
So, word got around the school that I blew up at her, and as far as I know she stopped detailing my bedroom activities. I found a house to rent for 5000 baht ($125 USD) per month. It was
new and had new, modern furniture. The owner had built it for his
wife and himself but they decided to move back into a one-room
mansion that they also owned just so they could make some money from
me renting the house! I had upstairs and downstairs, huge living
room, 2 bathrooms, 4 bedrooms and the best part was a really large
kitchen! No, I don't cook much - but my girlfriend loved it and
cooked every chance she got.
While I was at this house in the northeast Thailand I was holding some
private English courses at home - most of the times just out on the
porch, after working at the school. I could charge 4000 baht for one
person for a 20 hour course... 6000 for 2 people, 8000 for 3 people
and 10,000 for 4 people. I put some signs up around town that I was teaching English at the
house and soon had individuals or small groups coming for classes
after school and on the weekend. I taught mostly conversation
courses. College kids wanted to practice their English before they
graduated and moved to Bangkok for jobs because many times the
interview was held in English. If they could get through that
interview they could be assured of a higher-paying job. At times I
taught 4 beautiful college girls for 2 hours at a time... and I was
paid for it! I usually charged 10,000 baht for a 20 hour course for
4 people. That's $250 usd. And it's decent money and quite fun. The
Thais want class to be fun above all else.
The course was usually a conversation course - the Thais' are tired
of schooling and learning grammar - they just want to learn to talk
more. Many of my classes were beautiful girls that were going to
work in Bangkok after graduation from the university and wanted to
be able to get through the English interview. I made extra money teaching English in my
off-time. I taught a couple hours after work and then a few hours on
Saturday and Sunday. In the summer I held a Summer course for 6-9
year olds and had 15 kids coming daily during the week. It was a lot
of fun. Teaching English is not hard work. I'll take
it over working in a corporation in America ANY DAY.
So - I was able to save a little money in case of emergency, and live comfortably while in Isaan.
During the first year in Thailand I dated many different Thai girls
and I found them all to be lacking in something substantial. Mostly
it was the inability to speak English that made the situation
unbearable. I was learning Thai, but not at any pace that would
allow me to converse intelligently for years.
I'm "language
challenged". I know this about myself because I had over 5 years of
classes in high school and college for Spanish and was surrounded by
people in Florida that spoke Spanish, and yet I never could say more
than a couple sentences - and could understand even LESS than that
when I heard others speaking Spanish. Thai language is WORSE for me.
There are sounds that don't even seem possible to make. At least
Spanish was similar.
Learning Thai has been pretty rough on me - but
I've learned about a 1000 words and some simple sentences and
phrases. It will take another couple years to 'get it'. I'm also
learning to read the language - which is easier than speaking it.
I've learned the 46? consonants or so and am just trying to get all
the vowels committed to memory. Thai writing is worse than Chinese -
one must read left to right sometimes, right to left, bottom to top
and top to bottom. It's quite confusing at first.
Anyway, back to dating Thai girls... Most girls insisted on having
their friends come with us on dates - that sucked because not only
could I not say what I wanted to, but I also had to pay for
everyone's meals and movies! I put an end to those kinds of dates quickly. It just wasn't worth
it. Although I missed out on going out with some incredibly
beautiful and sweet girls that just refused to go out alone with me...
It didn't matter. I began to really start liking this girl I was working with. I'll
call her, "Lek". She was small - a very petite girl. At times she
looks so young. A definite plus. Here I am - just turned 40 years
old and I'm dating a 23 year old. In America it would never work.
I'm not into the music a really young girl is into. I'm not into the
same things to talk about. I'm not into the stares from onlookers.
Now, don't get me wrong - I pulled some 19 year olds - when I was in
my late 30's - but, they were not long-term relationships. A couple
quickies after a dinner or drinks and then we'd go our separate
ways...
But this girl I was working with was looking like a long-termer.
Having had some experience with girls in Phuket - prostitutes all of
them in one way or another, whether they admitted to me or not - and
some of them would NEVER admit... and hearing it constantly from my
friends and acquaintances I met here in Thailand... I thought that
ALL girls were completely not worth trusting here. They all lied... it was
part of their culture. They lied because it meant money. Money
that went to their family to support parents, husbands, Thai
boyfriends, or children back in Isaan (the northeast of Thailand).
I'd lie too. Little did I realize at the time how much a part
of the culture lying is. Lying to save face and keep the flow
of things going smoothly. I didn't trust Lek at all. I wanted to - and yet I couldn't
possibly. I had read gobs of stickman.com Articles about how the
girls will rip your heart out of you fall for them. They can jerk a
farang around like a played-out marionette and the farang wouldn't
have a clue. If he ever did get a clue it would be HIS FAULT for
bringing it up! The Thai women that are working as prostitutes have
years and years of experience in maximizing their income at the
expense of the horny guys that come seeking short-times, long-times
and long-term romance and marriages from them.
The brightest guys on the planet will still fall for a bar girl. It
makes no logical sense really when they are fully informed. But,
love appears to be illogical. Go figure. Guys will spend thousands
of dollars on their Thai girlfriends with the thought in mind that -
"If I was at home, I'd be spending much more than that". So, they
rationalize it. Never mind that they'd never date a whore at home.
The girls here in Thailand don't SEEM like whores. You start to
think of them as normal girls. They are beautiful and sweet... they
don't care much about your age... they are not fat or into drugs (in
the northeast)... the girls in sex tourist areas are a different
group.
The problem in finding good Thai girls in Pattaya or Bangkok or
Phuket is that they might be normal girls for just a little while...
when they FIRST turn to prostitution... but you've got just days to
find one in that situation before it's too late. They like the quick
and easy money. Hell, pay me to have sex with women for money and
I'd enjoy it a lot of times too. Even if they were ugly! After they
learn the tricks to get paid even when they don't deliver all they
should be - they are really liking it. If they don't have too many
negative experiences like getting beat-up, raped, forced into doing
things they don't want to do... they might really be in it for the
long-haul.
If they are in it for any length of time - they have met up with
many other girls they are now calling 'friends'. Girls doing the
same things. Girls that share tips. Girls that share food.
Eventually they become just like them. The girls are amazing at
getting money from many guys at the same time. They are great at
having many boyfriends overseas and getting monthly donations -
support- until they return to Thailand when the guys REALLY spend
money on them.
Anyway... so I met this girl. She had never been to a bar. She had
visited Bangkok only with her aunt who was many years older. She
didn't have any friends that went to Bangkok or one of the
sex-tourist areas to make a living. She didn't drink. She didn't
smoke. No tattoos. She didn't own any revealing clothing. She was
very conservative like most girls in the northeast were brought up.
She is from Sisaket - a very small Thai town with only a handful of
farangs living there at any one time. There aren't any tourists
there.
She grew up with her aunt and uncle since her father drank so much
that eventually he wasn't right in the head. Her mom too - was a
victim of the father and wasn't holding it together all that well.
Her aunt took her in when she was 10. Her aunt was a schoolteacher
and so was her uncle. Her aunt was strict with her. Lek couldn't do
much. Her aunt raised her very conservatively and with great values.
Lek has never been selfish with me in any form in the almost 2 years
I've known her. She is unselfish and giving beyond anything I've
ever seen. I jokingly call her "mother teresa" and "mother mary"
behind her back. She seems perfect like that. But, I still didn't
trust her. I'd had many Thai girl 'friends' that insisted they had
no boyfriend. They insisted they had no husband. I believed - why
would a friend lie to me about it? But, they did. All of them.
If a girl is beautiful here in Thailand the Thai guys have already
found her. If she is model-good looking she has MANY guys already.
By the time you meet her she will have had sex already - even in
Isaan - it's highly likely a drop dead beautiful girl will not be a
virgin. She will have a few "gigs" or "geeks" that are boyfriends
part time. In America we call them "F-friends". In Thailand they
might be boyfriends from the past - or just special friends they
have sex with sometimes. I was sure that my cute little Lek had someone. I could never find
any information that would prove it though. I tried. I tried hard. I
checked phone registry. I checked messages sent. I put a keylogger
on my laptop so when she logged into her email account I could read
everything. I checked with her friends. I checked with anyone I knew
about her. All had only great things to say about her. THERE WAS
NOTHING! I still didn't believe.
Occasionally Lek would tell me that she couldn't come over or that
we couldn't go out because her "Aunt" came to visit - or a girl came
to visit...one of her friends from school. I didn't believe. I just
knew that it was a guy - a gig from before... some guy that she
hadn't told me about yet. So, I continued to go out with other
girls. I wasn't going to be played for a dummy. I went out with a few gigs myself. Maybe 4 over the months. I had
tried in those months to find out what was really going on with Lek
- but I was NEVER able to find something. I tried popping in to
visit her when these "friends" and aunt were supposed to be there -
and - SHE wasn't lying -there was ALWAYS someone there just like she
said!
One time I was absolutely convinced that she was lying... and I was
on the way out to go to her room... and on the way down the alley
from my house I ran right into her aunt - who was STILL staying in
Lek's room after 5 days!
This aunt would just show up completely unannounced and stay for
days at a time. Lek had to pretend that she and I were just friends
because otherwise her family would INSIST we get married
immediately. Like I said, there really isn't any 'dating' in Isaan.
If her parents would have known we were virtually living together -
they'd have brought the shotguns and we'd have been married. No
doubt.
So, this went on for about a year. I was sure that I couldn't trust
her - and she was perfect. Never once did I catch her in the
smallest thing that would have been considered a lie or a mistruth.
Next School
The next school I found to teach at in Isaan had a couple farangs
from England, two from Germany, one from Australia and another
American like me. We were anything but a cohesive group and the time
spent there was pretty much all business... There was little
socializing in the office because we all were very different people.
The kids were great - I taught mathyom 4, 3, prathom 6, 5, 3, and 2.
By far the most fun was teaching prathom 2! The kids were 6-7 years
old and very fun. They were crazy and respectful all at once. They
didn't have inhibitions and would dance, sing, speak English as much
as they could, and class was always just a really good time. The
older classes - the 11-14 year olds (prathom 5,6) were quite nuts
and not that fun to teach. I had to be strict in the class to get some respect and at times it
was like a military classroom. It had to be - otherwise the kids
would be doing in my class what they did in all the Thai teachers'
classes - jumping off chairs - kicking soccer balls, throwing things
- hitting each other, wrestling each other... It can be quite nuts
to just walk around the school during an off hour and look into the
classrooms to see what's going on in classes with Thai teachers.
Here is a submission I wrote for a farang expat site here in
Thailand explaining working in this school:
******************************************************
KidStuff
I've written here a little bit about teaching at the different grade
levels. I've found some methods that seem to work well and allow me
to keep my sanity. It's quite a trick to remain calm sometimes when
it's last period and the kids are wound up from some event that
occurred prior.
I'm guessing there are a fair share of teachers that read these
submissions. I have read the Article about teaching both on Stick's
site and the major online employment site for teachers here in
Thailand.
I've taught for a year and a half here and I'm just starting work at
my 3rd school. First school – Government school – I taught Prathom
3. Second school – Private "Christian?" university – Assumption
College where I taught Prathom 2, 3, 5, 6 and Mathyom 3 and 4. Third
school is a large and they say "well-respected" government school
comprised of Mathyom levels 1-4. This is equivalent to the 7th
through the 10th grade but in truth you'll find kids 17 and 18 yrs
old in the M4 level often times. I'm teaching M3 math at this
school. I was never a teacher in the U.S., but I did coach soccer and I did
work with kids that were quite a handful in the mental health
system. Kids and teens with severe depression, manic-depression,
borderline personality disorder, paranoia, delusions, and the whole
realm. I have a good feel for what it will take to make a particular
kid behave or do what I want. I think I also have a healthy "f - it"
attitude when I've either exhausted my mental resources or I've
decided that I can't quite understand WHY it's so important for the
kids to learn during that one hour they seem to be freak alien
spawn.
The "f - it" attitude is important. As an American I think we have
less of it than perhaps some other cultures. In school we were made
to be good. It was not a democracy in the classroom. We didn't just
get rowdy as an entire class if we all felt like it. And I find it
hard to believe that we EVER got as loud as a classroom of Thai kids
when they get going. Picture 45 kids mainlining liquid crack via
Intravenous during the class right before yours.
Yes, it's that bad at times. So, for us Americans I think it's hard
to just give up some days and say F-it. All foreign teachers need to
see the BIG picture. The big picture is that if the kids are
fruit-loops that day and you're at your wits end… just let it go.
Well, either let it go or make them put their heads on the desk and
not make a sound if you really can't stand the noise at all anymore.
If they stay like that the entire period – better for you and better
for them. You just earned some respect for having made them all do
something and for it being something stupid. While they are quiet
tell them something like how disappointed you are and that their
parents will be hurt when you start calling EVERY ONE OF THEM.
An example of "F-it" attitude. One time last year during second term I walked into the Prathom 6 math classroom and they were all
watching the video playback of their parent's night performance… I
was already feeling like we hadn't done SQUAT that entire semester
and yet the kids probably wouldn't see it any other place so I let
them watch it. It lasted all period of course, but the kids were so
wound up after watching the first few minutes of it that I wouldn't
have been able to get anything through their skulls. I think the
class that day was to have been finding the area of circles,
triangles and other stuff. It would have been wasted effort so I
said "F-it" and I watched the TV too.
We'd regularly have teachers come into the staffroom just blowing up
and incredulous that they hadn't taught ¼ of what they were
scheduled for that 2 nd term. The amount of extra-curricular stuff
that goes on is bewildering to foreigners. The 2nd term is a
complete blowoff term people. In America we have one show a year.
There were 3 shows in the second term alone at Assumption. I
wouldn't be lying if I told you that overall among all my classes I
got 1/3 done what I thought I was going to get done. Some of my
classes I had only on Mondays and Fridays. Those classes got less
than 1/6th of what they were scheduled for!
F-it. It's the Thai system. The Thai teachers understand what
happens during this term. It happens EVERY 2 nd semester. WE as
foreign teachers need to understand it too. We won't change the Thai
education system as much as we think we can or should. I think
personally that we shouldn't. Who are we to put our beliefs about
the education process before theirs? We're in THEIR country. We need
to assimilate into their culture… they don't need to change to ours.
The Thai teachers can command a level of respect that most of us
foreign teachers will never get from the kids. Something about being
able to remind them of their upbringing and respecting teachers and
being "polite" (soo-pahp). Many Thai "co-teachers" can be of
immeasurable help in the classroom. They may not always be able to
follow your lesson about Factoring Polynomials but they can get the
kids to shut up pretty quickly. Don't turn down the offer if you
have the chance to get their assistance for some or all of your
classes!
I realized after teaching Prathom 3 at the first government school
and watching some of the older kids in the Prathom 5 and 6 classes
that I needed to have a plan. The kids are quite different from
American kids at the young age. No, American kids are not angels. In
fact… I would say that after 6th grade everything goes to hell. I'd
never in my life teach 7 th grade or older kids in the states. I
learned that the most important tool we have for keeping control of the
classroom is the Thai "co-teacher" as mentioned before. As far as I can figure
out the second most important tool we have is US.
We need to present as a consistent person that has clear rules that
don't change. A personality that doesn't change. The third most
important tool is using this thing that Thai people cherish…the
concept of "face". The worst thing to a Thai person is "losing
face". It's a complicated idea at times, but Thai people kill for
it, kill themselves over it, and hire people to kill others over it.
Kids are well aware of the importance of preserving face for
themselves and their families. You can see it in the classroom when
classmates will cover for their friends no matter WHAT the issue.
They will ALL blatantly lie to cover for someone. Often too they
will say, "I don't know." When, they do know, they are just
preserving face by saying that they don't.
Foreign teachers need to learn to understand the concept of face and
apply disciplinary measures designed to directly affect "face". Now,
young Thai kids won't kill you over it. I would NOT recommend doing
anything too harsh if the kids are over the M3 level. After this
level the kids are pretty much adults and can make decisions to
exact revenge. It's a very serious issue as the kids reach adulthood
and anything can happen at this stage of the game. There are
horrible fights. There are bottles to the back of heads (never to
the front it seems), knives in the back, clubs to the back or
machetes to the back of motorbike riders.
There are levels of hierarchy in the classroom. Especially in the
higher grades (Mathyom 1+). These are social levels or levels of
respect. It's most easily seen among the boys. There will be boys
that are at the TOP of the totem pole. They are usually supported by
other boys at the top. They are more cocky. They may have (usually
have) families that are more important in the Thai social strata
than other Thai families. More money, more prestige, more power… The
parents or a parent may have a high government position… military
position… political position. The kids have grown up feeling like a
big dog. They say more things when the teacher's back is turned.
They outright lie about whether it was them that said it. They are
very interested in keeping the status quo. The status quo that
leaves them at the top.
However, when I come into the classroom I am now the big dog. There
is no other big dog. I don't allow it. There are just little dogs
and no little dog is any more special than any other little dog. I
won't have it. Most of the little dogs understand and get in line.
However, there will be a brief power struggle with members of the
previous big-dog crew.
Here are some things I believe about the different grade levels. My
experiences may not be the 'norm', but I'm guessing that they're
close. You may find some things you can relate to or you might use
them as a starting point if you are a new teacher and have no idea
what to expect.
Prathom 1, 2 and 3…
Very easy to deal with the kids. Easy to be nice and then demand
respect at will. The kids are fun, respectful, eager to learn and to
please… eager to make the teacher laugh if the teacher will allow
it. I had some of the greatest experiences teaching these levels.
Example… The kids are to complete their workbook – coloring and
filling in different English words and then present the book to me
when they are finished with the page… I then have to check the
bottom box with a red checkmark and they can consider it a good job
and move on to the next page or the next activity. Well, one girl
decided it would be funny to write some extra words at the bottom of
her paper when she handed it in… it said, "Fat Mr. John (name
replaced for preserving anonymity)". I saw it as I was checking her
paper and she was watching my face to see what I did. When I saw it I TOTALLY overreacted and blew the issue way out of proportion in a
fun way… "WHAT IS THIS??? WHO DID THIS??? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Etc.
And I had crazy expressions on my face… the kids were all thrown for
a loop… The girl was smiling so big, she had got the reaction she
wanted, and more.
The rest of the class was wrecked by kids bringing up their papers
with things like "red mr. John", "Mr John long arm", "Mr. John fat
foot" and other things. Their vocabulary was limited to body part s,
colors, and sizes of things but they were ingenious in combining
them. One boy, the most "off" boy in the class… the skinniest kid…
with the funniest expressions… and the most off-base answers and
actions… came up just as class was ending. He had been watching with
amusement the whole scene… he was watching what his friends wrote
and handed to me… he was loving my reactions… he had nothing written
on his paper when he handed it in at the end of class. I was VERY
surprised. I expected SOMETHING.
Then he hands me something with his other hand… a folded up little
piece of paper about 1 inch by 2 inches that didn't say anything. It
was just a picture of a pile of steaming turd. It was his way of
saying, "Mr. John is a pile of shit". I laughed until I couldn't
breathe… all the kids insisted on him telling them what it was, but
he never told… he just sat there with this smile on his face that
was worth 30 bat gold.
So, I found these levels very easy to teach and the most fun…
Prathom 4, 5, 6
I have not taught Prathom 4, however, the horror stories I heard
about them was enough. The Prathom 4, 5, and 6 kids seem to be
experiencing the crack phenomenon about every 3 days or so on
average. If you have a large class – over 25 of them, heaven help
you. My P5 and P6 classes were both with 30 kids and they were quite
a handful. I was teaching math so quite often the lesson was wasted
because they were too wound up to get anything out of it. I was able
to get maybe 80% of my lessons done in a meaningful way with these
grades because of the tactics I'll share with you later. Some
teachers came to the staffroom in tears multiple days because if you
let them run wild from the start , they will run all over you and
tattoo your skin with the treads in their converse.
Don't make the mistake of naming the kids "Monkey number 1", "Monkey
number 2", etc all the way up to 8 as I have done in the past with a
Prathom 5 class (grade 5). They actually get WORSE so they can outdo
each other. All the monkeys want to be "Monkey number 1" for some
reason. Lesson learned. I thought it would be a good way to
embarrass them since instead of their name I would disrespect them
by calling them this other more creative name. Go figure…
Mathyom 1-2 I taught a few lessons to cover for another teacher's absence. I
found them to be generally OK. The "attitudes" really start in this
group. The silent treatments, the passive aggressive stuff. I was
able to completely control this group and I think long-term probably
same result. They weren't yet confident enough to challenge me
multiple times.
Mathyom 3-4
Mathyom 3 and 4 I taught nearly everyday. They have the potential to
control YOU and the class. They are smart , they are strong as a
class… they back each other up on things so it's you against 20 – 30
of them. 50? Good luck. I was able to control these guys about 95%
of the time. The classes were not always fun, but we had our share
of very good times in each class. It's a power struggle and if they
win you're in for a long year.
Here's what I did to control the older kids. You might not agree.
You might think I'm an idiot. A control freak. A barbarian. Jai Dam!
(Cruel heart ). I am none of these… I just realized quickly that I
needed to be the big dog in these older classes and the only way I'd
be able to STAND teaching these levels were if I was the big dog and
we got a lot of teaching done and didn't deal with too many
attitudes or problems. I decided to be as strict on them as possible for the first couple
weeks of classes. I walk into the class. The kids shut up because they don't know me
yet. They have NO idea who I am, what I'm like, whether I'm a push
over. They may have seen me laugh with other teachers or kids on the
school grounds, but here in class they just don't know "me" yet.
That's a good thing, because if they already knew me they'd know I
like to laugh, joke and have more fun than THEY do… just not in the
classroom. ANYWHERE else, yes. I love it. Classroom, no. I put my stuff on the desk and stand at the front in the middle. The
kids get up and give the standard greeting. If it isn't earnest
enough I make them do it again. Already they are looking out of the
corners of their eyes to their friends. I can see them thinking…
Something isn't right… nobody does that… I haven't smiled, and won't until the end of class and only briefly. I tell them to sit down and get out some paper, pencil. I start
writing the rules on the board. I say, copy these NEATLY in your
notebook now.
Invariably someone says something. I turn around and ask WHO said
it. Sometimes they admit and sometimes not. If the offender admits
his guilt I go up to him and tell him clearly while looking 1 foot
from his eyes – When I'm talking or when my back is turned, YOU
DON'T TALK. Do you understand? I make him say, "Yes, I understand." I return to the board. Here are the rules I write…
1. When I'm talking nobody is talking, laughing, playing games.
2. When my back is turned, nobody is talking, laughing, playing
games.
3. If I tell you to do something you must do it as quickly as
possible and without talking.
4. If I tell you to go outside you stand up quickly, pick up your
papers and pencil, and walk outside. You stand with your nose
touching the wall until I come out to talk to you. (I bring a kid up
to the front to demonstrate how to stand outside.)
5. If I tell you to go outside you don't say a WORD outside.
6. Nobody hits, pushes, jumps on, anyone else in class.
7. No sports balls are allowed in the classroom.
8. If I give you lines to write you will copy them EXACTLY. If there
are mistakes you do them again. I want the lines on my desk at 8 am
the next day.
9. You call me "teacher".
10. If you have an answer you raise your hand.
11. When I'm done teaching and you have your assignment for the day
you can talk quietly with your friends to get it done or raise your
hand if you have questions for me to answer or if you want me to
show you another example.
12. What you see hear, hear here, stays here when you leave here.
Now, the rules are pretty standard. For the first class maybe first
couple classes the kids tested me. Talking when my back was turned… I watched the Thai teachers… they smacked kids' knuckles with a
ruler or short piece of bamboo. Well, the Thai teachers did it with
the younger kids up until about P6. I extended it all the way to M3.
The kids at that level, when they get hit with a ruler aren't used
to it. They thought that craziness was over. They were wrong. I
crack them good for things like "drumming on the desk", hitting
someone, throwing something, or other small things. I'm not really
sure the effect that this has, other than they fear me which is not
all that great a result. I think with Thai kids the embarrassment option is much more
effective.
If a kid is talking when I'm talking I will make him stand up where
he is. I will get about 6 inches from his face and ask loudly why he
is talking and what he is saying. I will then decide whether he
should stand in the back of the room with his nose on the wall or go
outside. If it's especially hot or the sun is hitting the outside
wall I'll usually opt for the outside. I let him bake out there.
Thai kids love the Air conditioning and hate to get dark so I'm
actually hitting him 3 ways… it's hot, he's getting dark, and he's
loosing face in front of his friends. The standing in the sun option
works very well for light skinned girls! VERY well.
If the problem kid doesn't stand up immediately after he's told and
I'm able to get to his chair before he does I pull him up by the
shirt at the shoulder. These uniforms are remarkably strong and I've
never ripped a shirt. I did hear the threads strain a few times. I
pull him out of his chair and walk him to the door and stand him at
the wall and tell him where to put his nose. A kid doesn't need too
many of those. M3 students are blown away when I do it to the
biggest kid in class. In America the kid would hit you – no doubt.
Here, never. I'm not a huge guy, almost 6 foot and 180, but no kid
has EVER resisted in the slightest way.
If the kid is giving me multiple problems, like maybe talking once
outside, or making faces through the window I will stop class, make
everyone put their head down. I'll go outside and jack that kid up
by yelling at him and getting in his face… threatening to bring his
mom and father in NOW to see what a buffalo he is and everyone thing
that comes to mind… often times he is on the verge of tears. I
usually don't EVER have to do it again if he comes close to tears.
It's easier to get the kids to that point than you might think. They
are not used to being yelled at by ANYONE.
Of course every kid in the room has heard the abuse and the class
usually goes very smoothly from that point on for a few days until
someone else decides to act up for some reason.
After a couple of weeks I am able to start to smile a bit. Joke once
in a while. Let the kids laugh. In P5/P6 I let them get a little too
loose and won't make that mistake again. I began to have more
trouble keeping them in line because naturally I just like to joke a
lot. They realized they could really push me when I was in that mood
and soon they wanted to push me everyday. I had to reinstitute the
drill-instructor mentality and they slowly got back in line…
One trick that works with Thai kids. Often times you'll hear someone
talking behind your back. You don't know who. Could be any one of
8-10 different monkeys. If nobody will admit it… I do this. I pick someone at random. Usually one of the monkeys and tell the
kids that THIS monkey is going to suffer because the REAL monkey
causing the trouble is not admitting it. When the real monkey admits
it then the THIS monkey can go sit back down. I then send the
innocent monkey outside to stand but not with his nose against the
wall – just stand. The kids in the class don't know though because I
go out WITH the kid to tell him – just stand there, I'm not mad at
you, etc…
When I go back in the class there is some serious issue with this…
the kids are shocked, they don't know what to do… they insist it
WASN'T that monkey… and I say I don't care. Which monkey was it? If
they don't say, I just continue teaching… eventually it comes to the
point where the real monkey admits it. EVERY TIME the real monkey
has come forward. If he doesn't he will the next time because his
friends think he's an ass for not admitting it to start with!
Try it!
Ok, I'm out of material. I'm not really, but I'm out of finger
energy to type this anymore.
Hope it gives new teachers something to start from and experienced
teachers something to laugh at.
;)
*************************************************************
So, as you can see - I'm a little strict about teaching in the Thai
classroom - but if I wasn't I just couldn't teach them. They get
quickly out of hand if you give them the space. I am very strict for
the first few weeks... month. Then I can loosen up and they've
already seen what a disciplinarian I am... so they know when I start
to get serious - they need to be very quiet. It works most times. Of
course at the end of the day the kids are sometimes complete
basket-cases and there isn't much that can be done to get them to be
quiet and learn anything at all.
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