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Sitting and the Process... (Index) Try the free video course - download each section > NOTE: This information is just a partial list of vidoes and MP3 files you can have for free download at my main meditation journal site: Http://seemlessness.thaipulse.com. Please visit there to see an extensive collection of journal entries, videos, audio podcasts.
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What is this? |
I've lived in Thailand since 11/2004. I came initially to find out what the strange experiences were as I meditated between 1998-1999. I've since spoken to 3 monks from Suan Mokkh and Wat Pah Nanachat. They have told me that I experienced what Buddhists call, "jhana states". Lately I've had jhana come frequently while not meditating so I thought I would start to meditate (sit) more. The last time I sat with any kind of regularity was in 1999. This time I'll keep a daily journal of it. If it reaches the point where I no longer feel any desire to record it, as it did last time after about 6 months of sitting, I will have my friend record me talking about what is going on. If you have any questions that you want me to address in the videos - send them to: trythaifood@gmail.com and we'll add them to the video. If there are both
audio and video media for one day - just download one, These files don't "stream" so,
right click and choose "Save target as..." or "Save file as..." to
save to your "Desktop" to view after fully downloaded. |
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Journal entries Audio Video |
8-18-07
Denseness ( download mp3): Feeling that mass or
denseness has increased. So today I did focus on the breath and the mind went through this feeling of heaviness - of gaining mass. Hard to explain any of the strange things that occur in the mind when one is meditating, so this is as close as I can describe the feeling. It was as if the body slowly became more dense and then heavy. This was not a novel experience, I've felt this before while meditating. Sometimes it leads to a feeling of the body growing and then the mind expanding... today it was the feeling of heaviness. 8-19-07 Mind Clutter (download mp3): I sat and the mind was constantly nagged with light thoughts that grabbed the attention for seconds at a time. I sat about 20 minutes then stood up and did some walking meditation. For the next hour I was mindful of everything I was doing, and was in the present moment, not thinking about the past or future. Sometimes if the mind won't calm after 15 or so minutes. Practice mindfulness as you go about your day. 8-20-07 Thought stopped and mind unlinked. Could not understand simple objects. This video and audio is kind of funny as I filmed while it was happening. I am quite out of normal functioning. Unlinked audio (mp3) Unlinked video (.mpg) 8-21-07 Fatness: A feeling as if the body increases in size, it's borders growing. First there is a recap of yesterday's "unlinked" feeling that maybe describes it better (for viewers) than yesterday's audio/video. Fatness audio (mp3) Fatness video (.wmv) 8-23-07 No Mind. I sat for 30 minutes last night before I slept. Before I meditated I was in state of 'no mind' or no thoughts before sitting down for some time - an hour or so. I decided to sit and just have no thoughts. I didn't record a video... nothing to talk about. I just sat and had no thoughts. I had awareness of things going on around me. At times some thoughts started to germinate, but when I realized a thought was forming I switched back to no thought mode. 8-25-07 Fatness and no mind center...
I climbed up to the Buddha up the hill at Wat Tum Sua here in Krabi
yesterday and I sat around 5:30. There were a group of monks and a
woman in white- like a nun that helps out at the temple. The group
was quite talkative and was in the one spot that I thought I had the
least chance of tourists coming by and so after 20 minutes of
looking at the incredible view I just sat down right there to
meditate. The monk group stayed and talked for a while and left
after 20-30 minutes. As they were still there my mind was able to
get very calm, and the body was near totally relaxed. Breathing came
easily and when they did leave the "fatness" feeling came VERY
strongly for about 30 minutes. I then had the mind's point of
reference shift -or disappear so that I could not tell where the "i"
was - or where "me" was... so to speak. I let that go on for a bit
and then I opened my eyes... and, well, it's all in the video. I
recorded this video at some caves in Krabi that I was scouting for
meditation places. I think they'll do fine. I'll sit there in some
days ahead. Need bug spray first. 8-28-07 Last couple of days - I filmed this during 8-28 also and I was going over what I've been doing in meditation over the past few days - trying to meditate in places that are too loud or have many distractions as practice. last couple days video 8-30-07 Filmed at top of Wat Tum Sua mountain top temple before the state occurred (below video). Wat tum sua scenery and some comments on meditation This is a small sized video display because it's 12 minutes long and if it was a bigger size it would be a 47 MB download which most people wouldn't bother with because too large. I think. If you want a larger one where you can SEE the scenery, ask me and I'll whip it up. I saved the project it would just take another 15 minutes to convert it and get it together. It would take me about 4 hours to upload it with a good internet connection so it won't be a quick process - but could do it at some point. 8-30-07 Climbed up to Wat Tum Sua and attempted to sit. It didn't go well the first time so I just shot some video and photos for a while. There was a storm and from that vantage it was interesting to see different spots around the area getting rained on, others dry and sunny. There was no lightening - so my fears of a repeat of the lightening experience up there were few (see www.aimforawesome.com for my lightening experience article). I went down a level and sat in a dry spot on a piece of concrete about 12 inches high at the base of a pillar. It was comfortable. The body was very relaxed and at peace. Soon the mind followed. I then had a very strong experience of the state that lasted about an hour there. Instead of let it go on, after an hour I opened my eyes and stood up and felt the state in that new posture... the state stayed for many hours - I was conscious of every one of the 1237 steps down the mountain and during the motorbike ride home... more about it on the video - the state video 8-31-07 Comments on the process from yesterday. I added a lot more here that I forgot to say during yesterday's video. I don't think I described the physical feeling very well yesterday, at least I wasn't satisfied that I did. I went over more of what it felt like and what was going on during it. This state lasted all the way up until I went to sleep about 9:30 pm. That was about 6 hours. I'm not sure that even when I meditated in 1998 and had a similar state that it lasted this strongly and long. Very interesting state... no thought... no emotion... no desire... no satisfaction or attachment to anything - so no dissatisfaction... Yet, I was able to have conversation at dinner with my friend. Memory still worked and was used in place of reaction and emotions. I remembered how I reacted emotionally to certain things - but there was no emotional reaction at all. comments on the state video 9-02-07 I had meditated at the top of the temple again today and it was just so relaxing... the weather was great, cloudy and a cool wind blowing. I sat for 30 minutes or so... and at times there were periods of no thought, no mind... no body really. Nothing. No memory, thought, nothing... but that experience was sprinkled with a realization of the body returning sometimes. The eyes were mostly closed, but at times they opened. So I stood up and walked around the structure, looking at the mountains on one side and the plains on the other... I became aware of a feeling that the eyes should focus on one spot - opened, and concentrate all focus there. This was not a conscious feeling, nor a voice. I've experienced something like this before, yet this was different. The video might explain better. While focusing on one spot on the side of the mountain I had an experience unlike any before... 3 dimensions change to 2 dimensions video
9-03-07 I was at Wat Tum Sua again today. The weather was nice, cool and windy. No rain. There were very few people at the top. When I first got to the top and took off my shoes to go up onto the platform, there was a young monk sitting in some shade in the corner. I recognized him as one I'd seen at the top before. He was meditating. I have honestly not seen even 1 monk meditating in Thailand at a wat before except at Wat Pah Nanachat and Suan Mokkh. I looked out at the mountains and he came over to me and offered me a soy milk box which I took with thanks. I spoke to him in Thai and he was extremely shy to speak, but wanted to speak it seemed. He was from Suratthani area and had been at the Wat Thamsuea for about a year. He was 21 years old. Anyway, so I went to sit and meditate and found a place on the ground. I sat for maybe an hour and had varying degrees of concentration and mindlessness (vernlessness) as there was no vern to watch the breath. I had to focus on the breath to bring a vern back into the picture. Odd to read this, I know, but, that is the experience. There is nothing there to watch the breath... no "me" so to speak. If I wasn't trying to force something to be there to watch the breath - there is just nothingness. I am aware of things around... the air, the sounds, etc. If I open my eyes - I can see without a problem... and yet, still - there is no center point for where "i" am. It's like no "me". Anyway, the video might explain better... I filmed as I walked down the steps, showing me at first - then showing the steps. Walking down steps at Wat Thamsuea video > (.wmv about 4MB) 9-7-07 Reaction, ego, emotionality all return with a vengeance! It seems that the last 5 days were filled with the mind being on edge. Most times were calm, yet, when a difficulty presented itself the mind reacted fast and very negatively. I think I've sworn more in the past couple days than during all my time in Thailand combined. I have this idea that the mind noticed that it was slipping away... the ego was dissolving. Disenchantment with things was starting to take place. The mind revolted - it didn't want to go away again! Meditation sessions were filled with a noisy and chatty mind - untameable most times - or only for minutes at a time. I could not just stop the thoughts like I used to - and have a mind that was without thought and reactions... Very strange. Anyway, see the video and there's more to it than that. Reaction, ego, emotionality video 9-7-07 >
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