Thai concept of "FACE"
(Primary factor in Thais' Behavior?)

Let me first state that I LOVE THAI PEOPLE.  Really, I do. I have, for the most part , embraced all the changes that I've been subject to over the last couple years. I like their laid back attitude toward work. I like their non-confrontational nature. I like the respect they show for elders and for each other by waiing. I like the student's respect for their teachers.

I like the Thai concept of brotherhood for lack of a better name... the idea that it is the group that is working or studying or doing something - it's not just the individual. If a kid is punished in class and I make him write lines... the other kids will try to write some lines FOR him. If someone is doing badly on a test, classmates will try to help him or her DURING the test... yes, we call that cheating - but, to the Thais' it is their culture to help and to succeed as a group.  To stop cheating we'd have to change the whole culture... impossible. I like that there doesn't seem to be any superstars here... no guys so filled with ego or craving attention so badly that they act out like they do in the USA. 

I like the freedom they give their kids to do as they wish... the lack of seriousness during school... the emphasis on fun and on smiles.  Smiles are in place of confrontation. Smiles are in place of hurt. Smiles are in place of confusion...  in place of yelling... in place of losing one's cool...  It's great!

Anyway... getting back to the topic.  The Thai concept of face, or more specifically "losing face" and "saving face" is a primary motivator of their behavior. I would guess that it is THE PRIMARY motivating force behind the way they act.

As Westerners we can compare face to the word honor.  In the west we know that we are not really honorable, and we accept it.  There are few of us that would insist that we are honorable.  The Thai concept of face is similar to honor... and yet there is so much more to it.  If a Thai "loses face" it means that he or she has suffered some loss of honor... some embarassment.  To Thais this can be absolutely devastating depending on the manner in which it was dealt by another or experienced as a result of his/her own actions prior.

In Thai society there is this emphasis on maintaining the facade of perfection.  This facade of perfection means that as a person, as an individual you do nothing to disturb that facade. It is unspoken, but everyone knows. You don't disturb the facade of perfection.  You don't break the facade or people lose face.  You don't criticize others. You don't yell or lose your temper.

When the facade comes down then hell can break loose.  This is why when Thais fight or go crazy physically it is an all out effort and they truly flip out psychologically for a time.  I've seen some horrible fights here.  Fights are almost always when someone or everyone has been drinking alcohol.  Because otherwise nobody really dares to break the facade of perfection.  When drunk though there is a lot that can't be overlooked anymore. Alcohol brings out the things that have been repressed. Drunk Thais say something that get at someone a little bit. A little ball-breaker... and then there's a response... maybe a little harsher.  Things can explode at any time. It's like a bomb waiting to go.

The offended person, if not drunk, or even IF drunk may have enough sense about him still to ignore the slight and go on maintaining the facade... but maybe not.  I've seen a husband choking his wife - both hands around her neck and her bent over backwards on a table on the SIDEWALK of a busy road where I live in Surat Thani.  I've seen a fight between young men at SongKran in Ubon Ratchathani that turned deadly when bottles were broken and a man's neck and stomach were cut open (he died). I've seen bar fights where 6 Thai guys beat up a tourist by knocking him down and kicking him in the head until they got tired. 

Maybe every fight is due to face. I'm not sure that could be true, but in some ways it may be so.

The Thai people don't really have an ego like the western ego.  I've seen very little "machismo" here. I've encountered VERY few people that seemed too proud, too strong, too tough, too cool, too rich, too smart , too anything...  People are very down to earth and must try hard not to draw attention to themselves.  I'm reminded of a boy in my math class. He's 15 and he plays football (soccer) incredibly well. He scores a goal about one in 3 times he gets the ball.  I've seen him score 5 goals in one game.  The kids are screaming around him when he scores - they're going nuts like they would anywhere in a school game.

The boy barely smiles, he just walks back while everyone congratulates him and he goes about playing some more. He is exceptionally good looking - many girls want to be his girlfriend... his family is rich like god... he has the latest toys... he sings in a band for all the school functions - and plays guitar and is great at both... and in America he'd be a stuck up jackass of a boy because of our egos there.  But here - he is like anyone else. He really has no ego. 

I've not seen many instances of ANYONE having ego here.  Really - there needs to be some studies done here - or, rather, I need to go look up how many have been done ;) because it boggles the mind that people can be so different here. 

I came here to see a different culture and I'm definitely seeing that - daily. It's great fun.

So, the concept of saving face, maintaining face is extremely important to Thais and it's something that you don't want to ever disturb.  You too must play the game - they might have a little more tolerance for someone from another country that doesn't understand the game, but really, you're expected to understand the game.

I'll post some links to outstanding stories on the internet about Thai people and the concept of "face" - some will really blow you away...