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Thai
Relationships
All I know is what I've heard and seen
for the past couple years. My western friends are fond of saying
that the Thai girls really don't like Thai guys because they beat
them, they cheat on them with girlfriends and other wives... The
Thai guys get the women to support them so they can drink with their
friends and so on.
I refuse
to accept these gross generalizations about Thai relationships just as I refuse to accept any
as a rule. I have noticed some things being in a relationship with a
Thai girl for the past 22 months...
My girlfriend will NEVER ask where I was when I go out with friends if we go to bars on a weekend
night. I would typically go out once or twice per month to
make the rounds at bars, strip clubs, karaoke places, etc. and I'd
come back to the house anywhere from 3 am to 5:30 am and she'd wake
up and ask me if I needed anything, take care of me and then go back
to sleep without mentioning ONE WORD EVER about what happened. I am not sure whether this is the norm or not, just one bit of data
from my experience. I think that it goes back to the Thai idea of "face"
and maintaining the facade of perfection in our relationship. I was always good when I went out - meaning - I never did anything I
considered wrong - or my friends, male or female would consider
wrong - but, still the likelihood that I DID something wrong was
strong considering I was drinking a lot and coming home at those
hours.
My girlfriend told me about her
parents rocky relationship and that her dad used to drink a lot and
hit her mom sometimes. My girlfriend ended up living with her aunt
because her mom and dad's relationship wasn't very stable. Apparently this
happens often in Thai culture. Again, just another data point.
I don't have a good feel for
whether violence is prevalent in the husband-wife or
boyfriend-girlfriend relationships for the most part . It exists,
that much I've seen. Whether it is the norm or not - I'd hate
to say. Female teachers at school where I work that have had
Thai boyfriends all have told us horror stories about the Thai guys
after a couple months of dating. They become abusive verbally,
non-trusting, and eventually push, grab, or hit the girls.
This was a few different girls with the stories, but again - only a
couple data points. I wonder if any studies have been done on
the subject...
Here is an Article I've written in my
Thailand blog about a Thai guy nearly killing his wife in front of
his 4 year old daughter on a public street here in Surat "Thai
Guy Beats Wife in Public..."
I'll be following it up with another Article
about a 15 year old girl in my class that is being threatened by her
boyfriend and hit - almost daily. It will be on that Thailand
blog also - you might check the right side list of Articles for it
after Dec 06 - likely early January...
Here is an interesting Article about whether you should date a Thai
guy or not, and how the relationship typically goes...
"Do's
and Don'ts of Dating a Thai Guy" by Richard Barrow |
