Is Peru the BEST Thailand Alternative? Video Shows Americans on Rafts.

My pal Steve is telling me that South America (at first I thought he was talking Texas) – is the best alternative to living in Thailand if it all goes topsy turvy here in the next few years (months?).

No, he’s talking about Peru, Chile, and other places like that.

Yeah, I know. The first thing I think of when I think of Americans running off to Spanish-speaking countries is kidnapping.

I have this idea that anywhere they speak Spanish – is unsafe for Americans. I don’t know where I got this idea, it’s just implanted in my subconscious and I’ve not been able to rid myself of it yet. I think about Mexicans coming across the borders of the southern USA, either illegal immigrants, or running drugs. I lived in Florida for 11+ years. There are Cubans, Ricans, Dominicans, and the rest of ’em – all up to no good. LOL. I’m being facetious here… but, still, I have this idea in my head that it just isn’t safe to bring my whole family to someplace like Peru, to live out our fairy tale lives.

On the other hand, I am well-prepared to go to a Spanish speaking country and begin picking up the language. I had 3 years of Spanish in High School. Two years in College. Eleven years of hearing it in Florida. When I first arrived in Thailand – I spoke to the Thais in Spanish, it was just natural. I don’t know why it came out that way, it was ridiculous – but it came out all the time. When I try to speak Spanish now after years in Thailand – it comes out Thai.

I Google Mapped Peru and was ecstatic to see – they have universities there. Nice. That’s a sign of something good. Then I Youtubed it and found this awesome video to show that Americans are doing anything they can to get into Peru. Apparently there is a huge influx of Americans overwhelming Peru – and they interview locals that are not taking kindly to the gringos arriving illegally on rafts. The Americans are happy as pigs in slop as they hit the shore though… you gotta see this video.

Thailand Video of the Week – Cadel Evans Slaps Reporter

This is pretty good stuff, and once again this weeks Thailand video has little, ok – nothing at all, to do with Thailand.

Cadel Evans won the Tour de France this year, if you didn’t know. He’s an Aussie and seemed really likable in all the videos I’ve seen. He must have a thing about people, or maybe just reporters touching him. Watch the whole thing, the first push away is NOT the one I’m talking about… he really gets pissed.

I remember being a paparazzi in New York City for a few years, and I had people say things verbally – but nobody ever got physical about it. I did try to be less the ass than most – and still get the photos.

Thailand Video of the Week – From Russia

I guess this guy is in Russia. Where the hell else could he get away with this besides Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia?

If you’re a man – and you have fired guns in the past – you owe it to yourself to watch these, you’ll enjoy them.

In the past I’ve had a 9mm with hollowpoint bullets I kept in the house and I did a scan of the house every time I came back from being out. It’s a good feeling to know you have a gun to protect those you love. It’s a good feeling to know you have a fighting chance if someone is waiting in your bedroom, or climbs through a window…

I want what this guy’s playing with though.

You know how you wish your gun wouldn’t run out of bullets?

Mortars anyone? RUN FOR COVER!

Flame thrower? Check. The guy can get anything.

Check out his channel – FPSRUSSIA – he has so many guns, all of them worth watching. Over 174 million views and over 1 MM subscribers. Damn, what am I doing videos about snakes for?

Oh, and if you thought it was just a fluke that he somehow got ahold of a flame thrower… that’s nothing. Here’s a 40mm machine gun.

This is sick…

Thailand Video of the Week – Scorpion Handling

I’ve not seen anyone else this comfortable handling a scorpion. This guy has no fear of it. I was tempted a couple of times to pick it up by the stinger, as both of the guys in the video did – but, I had a bad experience eating a scorpion, and I’m still not sure that if one bit me I wouldn’t die from lack of breath because of it.

I ate one I bought at a market in Sisaket (video is below). After that I went running. I started sweating profusely – way too early in the run. My legs were sweating like water was running out of them. I was also salivating like a sick dog. I was spitting every couple seconds. Then my breathing started to get bad… then real bad. I started walking – I had another 1km to walk just to get out of the park and to my motorbike. I made it back to the apartment we were staying in and tried to tell my wife to get me to the hospital. My face was all swollen up and she could see I was obviously on death’s door. My breathing was down to about 10% of normal at that time – and I just couldn’t force more air into my chest. A scary time…

Anyway – at the hospital – Sisaket public hospital, they were a bit too slow in deciding what to do when I screamed –

“I can’t fucking breathe – give me something to help.”

That got them in gear and after a breather thing and some anti-histamines in an IV I was rather OK and the symptoms slowly went away and I could breathe again.

Funny thing about not being able to breathe – losing face goes right out the fucking window…

Here’s the video of me eating the scorpion:

Here’s my dumbass in the hospital. Sorry, the video is taken with like a 1.2MP Nokia phone. I was completely out of it and didn’t really make sense.

Here’s the guy handling the scorpion like it’s a toy…