Crazy Bargirl Stories #1

(Page Updated: 30 December 2016)

Thailand Bargirls – Like The Plague…

I searched on bargirls and Stickmanbangkok in Google and found a story that was pretty typical of a bad experience with bargirls.

Bargirls are not loyal to anyone – they flit like the wind. If wind is blowing cash out of one farang’s pocket and into her purse, then that’s where the loyalty for the night is going. It doesn’t matter WHICH pocket it’s coming from – whatever pocket holds the promise for the bigger wad of cash – gets the kitty, so to speak.

This guy’s story, and so many guys stories are so typical because they found a hot girl (mistake number 1 if you’re looking for loyalty), and decide to hang out with her for the night. In the hot bargirl’s mind the decision was more for the next hour or so – to see what you could offer. She must be smart and make a decision about you, evaluate you to see if you have the big wad or a non-wad. If you have a big one – and she can see that you’re gullible. She’ll hang out with you for a week or more. Maybe she’ll say “up to you” if you’re really throwing cash her way.

Thailand's Sickest fiction book by Mike Fook.
My first fiction book. 4 **** out of 5 at Amazon. There is a follow-up book too. I think you’re going to like them…

Bargirls are worse than whores from back in the states – USA or wherever, because they stick around. If a bargirl finds an easy mark she’s going to hang around with him (you?) for a long time as long as you’re spoon-feeding her more cash than she could make hanging around a bar. In fact, that should be a serious clue for every farang w-monger coming to Thailand.

IF a bargirl or god help you, bargirls, are hanging around you and seem to LOVE to be around you and want you to take them everywhere you’re going – they are getting something out of the deal. Whatever they’re getting is better than making just 1000-5000 baht per night at the bar. They might be getting the ultimate prize – your LOVE. When a farang falls for a bargirl and falls in LOVE – the money that flows is like the Amazon and Nile rivers… after all – WHAT IS MONEY when it comes to Love – right?

For me – money is nothing anyway, whether for love or anything else – but for a guy that has never had love – to suddenly have this Effing gorgeous girl hanging on his every move – and ignoring the studs that are running around barfining six girls at a time – this guy FEELS IT and is in love with the idea at first. Soon, after she’s nice to him a few hours or few days – he is completely HOOKED. Like a FAT, BALD, SMOKING, Singha drinking TROUT.

Once he’s fishhooked – he’s a puppet for whatever she wants. The bargirl has the collective wisdom of 65 million years of collective bargirl experience that has been handed down mouth-to-mouth and SMS-to-SMS. The bargirls have more wisdom to part you from your money than you have wits to keep it. Falling in love is the most critical and fatal mistake you’ll ever make with a bargirl because a bargirl’s stupid requests for money will start to seem almost “OK.” You’ll start to rationalize giving your bargirl whore money for a motorbike, a car, a truck for the family, 20,000 baht per month while you’re away so she doesn’t have to work at a bar and fook for cash. You’ll start to think – hey, this is a good deal… and all the while, over the weeks, months or years, she’s sucking your accounts dry… not to mention YOUR MIND!

A bargirl can use emotion like an artist uses fine paint brushes. The canvas is your mind. She’s making Picasso, Rembrandt, and Van Gogh look like finger-painting slopheads. She’s building up trust, and giving you emotional tidbits that keep you sated for a time – and then she makes a tiny request – which you can’t deny her – after all she loves you with all her heart and she’s like a little kitten you want to take care of.

All while it’s part of her art. She’s painting masterpieces on your cranium… the alcohol based paint seeping into the skin, slowly at first, then literally pouring inside your skull through ears and eyes and the rest of your orifices…affecting brain chemistry, thoughts, common-sense, logic, sanity, and that beast between your legs.

Endorphins? That’s NOTHING! A bargirl’s crafty brush strokes will make you feel so much better! You’ll sometimes OFFER her money first because you hate the look in her eyes when she “must ask for something.”

You’re little kitty is making the other cats FAT back in the village – and you’ll never know half of where your cash went.

Bargirls want cash. They might need cash for their kids at home that you’ll never see. Bargirls might need cash for their families that make noises when they need money like a sucking chest wound. Bargirls might need cash for drugs for themselves or one of their Thai pimps or boyfriends – that KNOW she’s fooking half of Bangkok – but it’s OK, because she’s supporting these dumbasses. A bargirl might be giving her money to another girl – yeah, a “Tom.” Toms are the Thai girls that dress like guys and prey on the pretty girls that have money so they can support them. Toms don’t typically have jobs, they just don’t care to have one. They want a pretty girl to support them. Much like the Thai guys that leech off the girls and provide support for their whole meaningless existence.

Bargirls you fall in love with – WILL get your money. They’ll convince you to give it to them, or they’ll steal it or enable someone else to steal it.

I read a story about a guy that had his wallet and 20,000+ baht stolen on the last day that he was in Thailand – two stories like this in fact, and the guy was clueless… Let me tell you – SUSPECT your bargirl girlfriend.

It’s no different than the soup lady trying to charge me 5 extra baht or the Kow Chee lady trying to charge me 2 extra baht for food because I’m farang. Their mindset is, “He can afford it, he’s rich.” To the bargirl, you can afford it. If you’re not GIVING it – you can still afford it and you’re not being fair to her – she will feel justified in TAKING it – or enabling her friends to take it.


Have your fun and don’t look back. CERTAINLY don’t invite them anywhere for a day, a couple days. Those couple days will cost you more long-term than any bad investment you could possibly make.

Bargirls are NOT long-term fun.

Author: Vern

I'm an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at There are many photographs of Thailand here - feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page). All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.

7 thoughts on “Crazy Bargirl Stories #1”

  1. Vern, Does this mean that dancer in Pattaya doesn’t love me??? Oh no guess the ones I’m going to meet in Angeles City won’t love me long time. Good thing I’ve got Maricar’s love and affection. How are you folks there ? I hope all is well with you and yours.
    Best wishes always, Lee (& sometimes Maricar)(She’s working 2 jobs so she can keep me in a style I’d like to get used to.

  2. Anonymous – Maybe someone is sick – but be careful. You gotta SEE SOMEONE lyingin the hospital bed to believe it. If not, don’t send cash.

    Pam – Thanks! Samui has changed a LOT in a decade – so you’ll be surprised, but there are still some relatively quiet spots and the mornings are best – before 2pm when the drunks from night before wake up and go in search of grub (and more alcohol)!

    Brunty – yeah, I’ve seen a girl talking on the phone in a POURING RAINSTORM! I watched her answer the phone as she’s driving the motorbike – and continue on – she was SOAKED THROUGH and the rain was like a typhoon – not joking. I was standing under a fruit stand watching people and I couldn’t believe she’d risk killing her phone just to answer it.

    Angie – thanks. Crazy things happen here, but if you’re in a group – and grad students, you should be fine right? LOL. Good luck, and have fun – it’s not all bad really!

  3. Great info! I am getting ready to head out for Thailand with my University and were given direct instructions to NOT hook up with locals or we would be on our own when we had no money, no passport, and no way of getting home! I sent your post to the group, the girls got a kick out of it and the guys are in slight panic. LOL! Priceless!

    Thanks for the info!

    Angie (grad student)

  4. Hey Vern. Great post and so true. I don’t read stickman a lot anymore because it’s the same thing again and again and it gets boring reading about fools being cheated out of their money.

    I remember a post of yours along time ago when you wrote about when you should get rid of your girl.

    I think you said things like

    If she was more than 1 phone
    If she has more than 3 sim cards
    If she always talks about money
    and the best was
    If she doesn’t answer the phone after 4-5 rings.

    Like you said Thai girls live with their mobile phones and they are hardly ever out of their sight.

    Oh and about tattoos as well another big give away I remember.

    You think that farangs would be a little wiser with all the information on the net but then again their wrong brain is doing the thinking for them. Brunty

  5. Hi Pam, thanks for writing! This site has many topics – including a little bit about samui, but I also have a Ko Samui blog! < click to go! I think there are some interesting things to do on Ko Samui, Thailand. If it’s been 10+ years since you were in Samui you’re in for a shock from what I understand. I’ve been there many times over the last 2 years and it’s quite crowded. Hope you enjoy your time there! Vern

  6. great writing. you could write a book about this stuff!

    we’re headed to samui this fall. it’s been over a decade since we were there. that’s how i surfed into your site, did a search on blogs and samui and you were a hit…really good writing here..

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