The Most Dangerous Bikes I’ve Ever Seen

I was drinking some coffee and writing blogs at an outdoor cafe when this guy came from the parking lot. He wasn’t all that odd looking, but there was something artsy about him I could tell right away. Couldn’t put my finger on it.

He tried to order some tea with honey. After a few attempts I turned around and helped by telling the cashier who spoke not a word of Engrish that he wanted nam cha sy nam peung. By now the cashier was frazzled and he couldn’t even understand me speaking Thai. I know I’m not perfect, but… jeez. After 30 seconds we all were shaking our heads yes and maybe the guy got honey and maybe he didn’t.

After he sat at the table his girl (friend?) came around from the restroom area. She was QUITE the artsy girl seeming as if she just stepped out of a B-52’s video, LOVESHACK or something.

Anyway – that’s what I noticed and didn’t think anything more. I like all sorts of people, but I am amazed at how people dress and act – all to be different from the masses, only to be clones of others in their little subculture.

When I went out into the parking lot I damn near burst out in a screaming fit of hysterical laughter. I damn near went “silop silai” (into a coma) from hyperventilating. What I saw were the two most hilarious, outrageous and damn-right dangerous bikes I’d ever seen in my life. They were unstable as all hell and I realized, the two that owned them were the only two possible. The artsy kids.

Here’s a photo.

No lie, the seats were 6+ feet off the ground. For you people that don’t use feet anymore, that’s 2+ meters.

They fused parts of old bikes together and then painted them up pretty. They then hung on them all sorts of shiagus (isn’t that jewish for shite?) and were driving on the HEAVILY traveled streets in the middle of nowhere with these contraptions. There were juggling pins – like bowling pins, hula hoops, colorful scarfs, all kind of nonsense.

I’m afraid on my motorbike sometimes. I haven’t felt unsafe since seeing this spectacle though!

People… please. Yeah, it’s cute. It’s funny. It’s fun. You are making people smile with your ridiculousness. I’m all for it. But, there’s a limit you know? Do you have any idea how many foreigners smear their brain chemistry across Thailand’s roads each year?

You could be straight sober (and they were) and still become someone’s hood ornament until you fall off and become the goo between their tires.

Unreal what people do… Isn’t it?

Author: Vern

I'm an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at There are many photographs of Thailand here - feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page). All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.

4 thoughts on “The Most Dangerous Bikes I’ve Ever Seen”

  1. Bob – I read a LOT of your excellent adventure online about 2 years ago. I even wrote you to tell you – amazing read. I loved it. Sure, you can pimp it here anytime. – Vern

  2. Vern,

    I couldn’t find you email address but this post seemed fine to post something. I’m pimping my bicycle journal, not that I get money, but I am trying to spread the word, and your place seems a good fit,

    It takes place a bunch in the NE, and I think is a good read. Help me Vern, help me!



  3. If you would’ve seen them you might have said something. They were just THAT dangerous. Not to mention it was raining that day – that’s why they came off the highway with those contraptions! Nutty kids!

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