Love, Perfect sex… Perfect Anything?

Love, perfect sex, perfect job

I notice that now that I’m a bit older, I’ve become smarter.
Not book smarter so much, but just smarter about life.
I’m smarter about what I know. Who I am. What I can say
to others and how it will affect them. I’m smarter about
things in general…

I have said things within the last 5 years like, “If I only
knew THEN what I know NOW.” This makes me sound
really smart. Really, what I’m referring to when I say
that is – I’m much more aware of what I can get away with.
If I knew how much I could get away with when I was
younger… WOW what a blast I would’ve had.

Not to say that I didn’t have quite a bit of fun when I
was younger, but I would have had quite a bit more!

This notecard came to me as I realized that there really
isn’t a perfect ANYTHING in this world. Things that we
thought were attainable when younger… major goals
for our lives – were just a “fake”. Most goals that we
really are trying for, and trying and trying – are just
fakes. They are realistically unattainable by nearly
everyone. Those writing books about how attainable
“it” is probably haven’t attained “it” either.

Anyway, these 3 are DEFINITELY unattainable.
Once you think you found the perfect love, the
perfect sex, or the perfect job – it changes out from
under you. Your idea of what is perfect changes.
Or, you just never reach it and it’s always some-
where off in the distance.

What else is fictional once you hit 40?

Sex 4 times in an evening (without enhancement)

Getting along with everyone.

Reading a good book (this might just be my own
problem. I cannot find a book I like anymore.)

Seeing a good movie (again – just my problem?)

Meeting another same sex friend that I enjoy
doing ANYTHING except playing sports with.
(yes, this too – my problem I’m sure)

Hmm, any other ideas?

Author: Vern

I'm an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at There are many photographs of Thailand here - feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page). All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.

4 thoughts on “Love, Perfect sex… Perfect Anything?”

  1. Hi! I read your article in our local paper (Advice from a broken heart)

    The reality is, this problem is NOT local to THAILAND alone. There is 2 reason why this happens. One, the difference in monetary value. Two, the poverty difference between nations.

  2. Vern-

    I don’t know if you are into Buddhism or not, and this is for Chani also, but there are a couple dhamma books I recommend.

    Both about Ajarn Chah, a famous forest monk from Isaan.

    One is called Being Dhamma

    The other is called Food for the Heart.

    He doesn’t believe in all the hocus pocus stuff, which is why I like him.

    I am more into non-fiction and have a lot of economic and politics about Thailand. I don’t know if you like that stuff are not, but it might shine a light on many things about the Thais you don’t get.

    Also, I recommend reading the Anna and the King books on the internet.

    I think it is called “An English Governess at the Court of Siam” You can get it off Gutenberg for free.

    That is a good place to start.

  3. One of the things I like about your site is that you are very realistic and have a good foundation of common sense. Even when I disagree with something you’ve said, I can always see the logic.

    Goals are overrated and usually lead to a lot of dissatisfaction. (“My life would be so much better.. if only..”) I tend to be more experiential so it’s much easier to accept what comes along without getting too ruffled about much of anything. Whatever’s in the past is gone and not a bloody thing I can do about it.

    I’m about 15 years older than you ~ but age really makes no difference. We all learn and grow at different rates.

    Going by what you’ve written on your site so far, you seem to be doing just fine.

    As for books, I could recommend a ton. Depends on what you like. :)



  4. Hello Vern,
    I think you are a very smart guy. Both book smart and getting much smarter about life. Being about 21 years older than you I look back on my life and see many things I did wrong. I still try to get along everyone (your right about that,it’s impossible to do). I won’t bore you with a list of other things that are fictional at 60 years old. Lee

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