Abusive Thai Boy-Girl Relationship: What would YOU do?

There is a girl in my mathyom 3 class, she just
turned 15 yrs old.

She is very sweet and quiet… She has braces. I’ll call
her “Ying”. She is tall. She’s in the English program
at this good government school. She isn’t smart
at Math – the subject I teach, but at English she is
OK.

She was frequently late to my class last term and
absent many times.

She skipped my class numerous times last term too.

Today I found out why.

The head of the English program at the school, a
Thai woman, middle aged – called the M3 teachers
into the office today to discuss a problem.

One of the students – Ying.

I thought – wow, Ying doesn’t have a problem.

Then she laid it out for us.

Ying has been late to many classes – and skipped
many classes. She has been absent 17 times this
term already.

Ying has a “bad boy” for a boyfriend. Actually she
doesn’t want him as a boyfriend anymore, but the
boy has threatened her that he will kill her family
and her if she breaks up with him.

Ying’s boyfriend often takes her behind the rest-
rooms here on campus to kiss her and fondle her
– from what we’re told by other teachers that
have found them.

If you understand Thai society – they don’t DO
THAT here. Unless you’re talking about the whores
in Phuket, Pattaya, or other tourist sex areas here
in Thailand the Thai women just don’t do anything
at all in public. My girlfriend won’t hold my hand,
touch me or kiss me in public. EVER.

I think this situation must be highly unusual. This
girl’s family has a lot of money and a business here
in town. They spend 60,000 baht per year to send
their daughter to school in our English program.

They also send her to extra classes which probably
run another 20-30,000 baht per year.

Now the craziest part of this relationship is this…

The boy needs money… so, in typical Thai male
fashion he goes to her to get it.

Ying’s parents don’t give her money anymore. She
only has money to eat at school and nothing extra.

So, her boyfriend got creative.

He makes her go into her own class and collect
money from her friends – the entire class so that
they all must give him money.

If she doesn’t collect it, she gets HIT. He has hit
her on many occasions we were told.

Now, this is all crazy enough and we could
imagine a man doing this… but, this is a 16 YEAR
OLD BOY in the grade above hers!

Is that bizarre? Not in Thailand.

Of course, we foreign teachers asked the director…
what are you doing about it?

She said, “What can we do? He threatened to hurt
Ying and her parents if Ying breaks up with him.
He threatened to beat her up if they stop giving her
money.”

We were pretty astounded. So, their plan was WHAT
we asked…

“Not sure.”

She then tells us that this boy is part of a gang here
in the town and that they’re a very bad group of kids.

We then remind her that this is THAILAND… you
could wipe out the whole gang for 100,000 baht if you
chose to. 20k baht per head and maybe a payoff to
police, but maybe not necessary – depending whose
kids are in this gang.

To be terrorized by a group of 16 year olds and to
have no response except to continue letting a girl get
molested and beat up by a guy she doesn’t love or
even like anymore just isn’t an option to me.

I’m no stranger to violence, being from the US and
having been in many altercations during my life –
while in the armed forces and other places… but,
this is THAILAND man, this is where they don’t need
to take any of this nonsense – just get rid of the
jacka**es!

I hope someone resolves this soon.

What would you do if your son was in the class? If
this girl, Ying, was YOUR daughter?

What would you do if he threatened to kill YOUR
family if your daughter broke up with him?

Hmm, it wouldn’t take me long to find the local
hitman and resolve the problem. Yes, it may cause
problems even bigger than THIS once things are
set straight for THIS issue. But, you can either
watch the game and be victims or set it straight
and then set it straight again and again.

Until it’s right. I’d go for that option.

The “not sure” option is the Thai way…

What would you do?

Guy Beats Wife in front of 4 yr old Daughter (and other Thai Couples issues)

Guy Beats Wife in front of 4 year old Daughter…

Driving home on the motorbike last night here in our home town of Surat Thani, Thailand a guy had his “wife?” bent over backwards on a table and was strangling her while his 4 year old daughter screamed and clawed at him to pull him away from her…

“MOMMY! MOMMY!” “MOMMY! MOMMY!” “MOMMY! MOMMY!” (in Thai)…

We were driving by fast and it was very dark in that area but my girlfriend yelled in my ear, “What was that?”.

I had slowed when I heard the child screaming and I turned around and saw the guy on top of her and strangling her. Both of his hands were wrapped firmly around her throat and I’m sure she was just seconds from passing out.

I turned the motorbike around and shined the headlight on him just as he stopped and walked away from her and went back into their house/business (sewage disposal trucks in the driveway). The little girl was screaming MOMMY and fiercely grasping at her mom’s legs. Her mom stood up, stumbled a bit, and walked back toward the house screaming in a rage something at the guy that I didn’t understand.

Welcome to Thailand and the way Thai relationships are. We’ve all heard stories of someone that has seen it first-hand or heard it from their tee-rak or other. Usually a story goes something like this… a girl was murdered… everyone knew, or, many people saw it happen, but they ignored it because they thought it was a husband and wife argument.

Yeah, that’s it. They just ignored a guy beating the hell out of his wife, choking her, cutting her, shooting her, etc… because they thought it was just a relationship slaughter – which nobody gets involved in here.

It’s a pretty sick thing when there are many witnesses and yet nobody calls the police. OR, when the police are called, they either a.) don’t respond because it’s a woman/man fight. or, b.) they respond and refuse to step in because again, it’s a woman man fight -and likely a relationship fight.

In Thailand it is part of their culture that everyone looks the other way. In my experience above, there was a group of neighbors looking at him choke her and we didn’t hear anyone saying anything. Thai people don’t say anything.

Would you say something? If you were the woman and the guy got up off of you, your life was spared at least for a little longer, would you RUN away? Or stay?

Here is something I wrote on my web site about Thai Boy/Girl relationships

Here is an article that I liked from another writer about Thai Couple’s relationships and what can be expected… “Do’s and Don’ts of Dating a Thai Guy

I’ve got more stories about relationship abuse… the next one will be about my 15 year old student and her lovely relationship with a Thai boy that is one year older and what he makes her do! Stay tuned…