Abusive Thai Boy-Girl Relationship: What would YOU do?

There is a girl in my mathyom 3 class, she just
turned 15 yrs old.

She is very sweet and quiet… She has braces. I’ll call
her “Ying”. She is tall. She’s in the English program
at this good government school. She isn’t smart
at Math – the subject I teach, but at English she is

She was frequently late to my class last term and
absent many times.

She skipped my class numerous times last term too.

Today I found out why.

The head of the English program at the school, a
Thai woman, middle aged – called the M3 teachers
into the office today to discuss a problem.

One of the students – Ying.

I thought – wow, Ying doesn’t have a problem.

Then she laid it out for us.

Ying has been late to many classes – and skipped
many classes. She has been absent 17 times this
term already.

Ying has a “bad boy” for a boyfriend. Actually she
doesn’t want him as a boyfriend anymore, but the
boy has threatened her that he will kill her family
and her if she breaks up with him.

Ying’s boyfriend often takes her behind the rest-
rooms here on campus to kiss her and fondle her
– from what we’re told by other teachers that
have found them.

If you understand Thai society – they don’t DO
THAT here. Unless you’re talking about the whores
in Phuket, Pattaya, or other tourist sex areas here
in Thailand the Thai women just don’t do anything
at all in public. My girlfriend won’t hold my hand,
touch me or kiss me in public. EVER.

I think this situation must be highly unusual. This
girl’s family has a lot of money and a business here
in town. They spend 60,000 baht per year to send
their daughter to school in our English program.

They also send her to extra classes which probably
run another 20-30,000 baht per year.

Now the craziest part of this relationship is this…

The boy needs money… so, in typical Thai male
fashion he goes to her to get it.

Ying’s parents don’t give her money anymore. She
only has money to eat at school and nothing extra.

So, her boyfriend got creative.

He makes her go into her own class and collect
money from her friends – the entire class so that
they all must give him money.

If she doesn’t collect it, she gets HIT. He has hit
her on many occasions we were told.

Now, this is all crazy enough and we could
imagine a man doing this… but, this is a 16 YEAR
OLD BOY in the grade above hers!

Is that bizarre? Not in Thailand.

Of course, we foreign teachers asked the director…
what are you doing about it?

She said, “What can we do? He threatened to hurt
Ying and her parents if Ying breaks up with him.
He threatened to beat her up if they stop giving her

We were pretty astounded. So, their plan was WHAT
we asked…

“Not sure.”

She then tells us that this boy is part of a gang here
in the town and that they’re a very bad group of kids.

We then remind her that this is THAILAND… you
could wipe out the whole gang for 100,000 baht if you
chose to. 20k baht per head and maybe a payoff to
police, but maybe not necessary – depending whose
kids are in this gang.

To be terrorized by a group of 16 year olds and to
have no response except to continue letting a girl get
molested and beat up by a guy she doesn’t love or
even like anymore just isn’t an option to me.

I’m no stranger to violence, being from the US and
having been in many altercations during my life –
while in the armed forces and other places… but,
this is THAILAND man, this is where they don’t need
to take any of this nonsense – just get rid of the

I hope someone resolves this soon.

What would you do if your son was in the class? If
this girl, Ying, was YOUR daughter?

What would you do if he threatened to kill YOUR
family if your daughter broke up with him?

Hmm, it wouldn’t take me long to find the local
hitman and resolve the problem. Yes, it may cause
problems even bigger than THIS once things are
set straight for THIS issue. But, you can either
watch the game and be victims or set it straight
and then set it straight again and again.

Until it’s right. I’d go for that option.

The “not sure” option is the Thai way…

What would you do?

Author: Vern

I'm an American expat living in Thailand. I like to write informative pieces about life in, living in Thailand, including topics like: Thai People, Thai Culture, Nightlife, Technology, and I have published a lot of photographs, videos, and even books on Thailand that you can find at ThailandeBooks.com. There are many photographs of Thailand here - feel free to share with attribution (a link back to the home page). All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+.

3 thoughts on “Abusive Thai Boy-Girl Relationship: What would YOU do?”

  1. 16 years old. I’ll bet my left nut i could take him out. Physically.

    I have no pity for the strong preying on the weak. If I had caught him in the act i would have choked him out and broken his arms. Both of them.

    I would make sure he would never hurt anyone else again.

    I hate these kinds of people. I hate them so much. I’d dislocate his jaw with a hammer so he can never speak again.

    Honest to God this is what i would do. I will reinforce my words with more training and more discipline. I will remember this and remind myself of this when i feel weak.

    Thank you for blogging this.

    I will leave you to your own actions now.

  2. Hey, thanks for cruising by my site, thought I’d return the favor.

    Sounds like it’s time for a Teacher-Parent conference where the teachers clue the parents in on what’s happening with their daughter.

    I know, if I was her father, I’d want this to happen.

  3. I think I would be very tempted to get several of the biggest farang I could find and have them take the guy out in back for a good azz-kicking. I do not support violence but this becomes a larger issue. The guy needs to be taught a lesson.



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