What is Living in Thailand REALLY Like?

Songkran Water Festival (Thailand Holiday)… Squirter Sticks

SongKran is Coming… Get your Squirter Stick Made and Tested.

I rode by a PVC store a couple times recently. Everytime I do I'm on the way to eat and so I don't have time to stop and take a look. I'm on a quest to create the ultimate SongKran Holiday (water festival) water squirter.

Last year I had a student that gave me hers.  It was well made, and when some degenerate kid borrowed it for 10 minutes and broke it, I had a chance to examine the insides.  I think I've got it in my mind exactly how to make one like that, but I want mine to be a bit bigger – hold more water. I want to squirt twice (doesn't everyone) without having to refill the stick.

I'll try to explain the SongKran water tube (gun) and what it's good for.

Primarily it's a stealth weapon.  One doesn't need to run up to a truck, water bucket (dish) in hand and throw the water on someone who is fully aware that the water is coming. The stealth stick has the ability to launch anywhere from 3-10 meters (with wind) a large stream of water that retains it's cold temperature if one had the inclination to fill the tube with the iciest water available before firing it off.

I like the tube over the dish for many reasons…

1. I can stay in the shade over the overhang at the store I'm in front of while everyone else is out running into the sun's HARSH radiation rays every few minutes. I am able to retain my white glowing and luminescent skin while others are nung si dum (black skinned) and obviously lower classed than my white self.
2. My weapon is almost unique. Nobody really takes the care to make one of these the right way. There are cheap imitations that kids can be seen using, but they are weak compared to my manly stick.
3. It's a perfect example of mai pen rai. These squirters are illegal and yet nobody will say anything about them – police included because, it's SongKran… almost anything goes – and does.
4. I can usually stay away from the boys and katoeys that want to powder my already white god-like face with smelly powder that invariably goes in my eyes and in my mouth.
5. If someone is obnoxious by pouring ICE cold water down my back when I happen to be engaging some other opponent I can hit them with a strong jet stream straight to their eyeballs and smiling face that renders them temporarily blind and unable and unwilling to further their stupidity.
6. I can stealthily attack from a distance so great that the object of my stream cannot fathom who might be hitting them. This is very effective in short spurts. If I spurt the object (person) from a great distance and turn my head sideways and look sideways at their confusion it brings a secret smile and some satisfaction of a SCORE.
7. The dish can be turned back on one's self in the midst of an attack. Not so easy for the stick to be turned around to squirt me in the eye.
8. I made it. There is some pride in my stick. It's mine. Someone might borrow it for a few strokes of the plunger, but factually it's mine and it's a part of me after I use it the whole day.
9. If a fight ever broke out I could use my stick to beat asunder the 912 Thais' that are attempting to whoop me.  Try THAT with a squirt gun or a dish.
10. Soi dogs too – become victims instead of attackers.

So here's a description of how to go about making one. I hope I can make it make sense. 

The PVC tube should be about 3-4 feet long – a bit longer than a meter I think. Mine last year was about the diameter around of a little less than a cardboard toilet paper roll. I'll tell you about mine last year and then later show you a photo process of making mine for this year.
So, that is the outside tube. It must be hard and pretty inflexible. I'm guessing the diameter of the walls in that tube were 1/4" thick.   When I filled it up with water it didn't flex at all. It shouldn't flex easily, it should take a lot of effort to bend it at all.

Now, the inside tube should fit inside the the first tube.  The inside tube can be of thinner diameter plastic – maybe as thin as 1/16" thickness to the walls.  This tube should be 4-5" longer than the first tube because you'll need a handle to grip and to push out the water with.

Make sure the inside tube will slide easily in and out of the first tube since, if you're "playing songkran" correctly you'll be pulling that thing in and out about 400 times each day… x 3 days = a lot of pushing and pulling, and probably the most fun you've ever had.

Squirting strangers with your big stick for 30 hours over 3 days is a most exhilarating experience, I can assure you.

Now you'll need a handle for the 2nd tube. This handle can be whatever you want – but a plastic end cap works OK. Make sure it will be comfortable in your hand because you'll be using the palm of your hand to push the water out when you get tired of gripping the handle.

For the other end of the 2nd tube (inner tube is 2nd tube) you'll need a cap AND a round hard rubber loop to squeeze between the cap and the end.  What that means is -the cap must have a smaller diameter end that fits INTO the 2nd tube and you put the rubber ring around that inner piece first before squeezing on the cap and making the cap and rubber ring go almost flush with, but still a little larger than the 2nd tube.

The cap for the 2nd tube must be small enough to fit completely into the 1st tube just a little snugly. You'll be dipping the front end of the big stick into the water and pulling out the handle to suck up the water, so the seal between the rubber ring and the outer tube must be just right.

Once you have all those things – just buy a hard plastic cap for the front end of the 1st tube – that fits OVER the end and is flat at the end.  You'll need to drill a hole in that cap – or multiple holes if you wish to squirt multiple streams. I think one stream about as big as a pencil diameter is good. That's what I had last year. Maybe even a bit thicker would be better, but I think I'll drill a small one first and make it larger to experiment with the optimum stream size.

All of these pieces and a can of glue should run you about 200 baht I'm guessing. That's $5 usd.  Add to that the cost of buying a couple 30 lb blocks of ice each day and you'll probably spend $12.50 usd in 3 days.

If none of this makes ANY sense to you at all – just wait until I get my supplies together and I'll give you a proper how-to post for making your SongKran Stick Squirter.

Songkran squirter stick pic I found in someone else's blog >  This blog has a lot of great photos – you should have a look. 

I'm  jaded about the best places to go to celebrate SongKran – I think the northeast is the best.  Isaan.  The people have a great attitude and there are few bad incidents or negative incidents (fights or groping). I spent the first 2 years there and I had more fun than a farang should be allowed to.

Unfortunately this year it looks like I'll be in Pattaya because I've not seen a good reason to leave yet. I'm doing social research so to speak.  LOL.  God I've eaten some good farang food lately.  Add to that the Beer Laos I can get here and things are looking pretty comfortable. Pattaya isn't ALL bad… the dance clubs are great and the food is great. I've met some good people and there even appear to be decent Thai girls here as well. Not everyone's a bargirl…

Ok, I'll go out today and find some PVC parts to get assembled and take lots of photos for a good blog post.  Assuming I don't get loopy on the glue, I'll post it ASAP.

Until then…


I created this site to focus on expats living in Thailand, and tourists visiting Thailand. Don't miss the blog - Thaipulse.com/blog/. I hope you come away with something positive as a result of visiting Thaipulse.com. Feel free to leave questions or comments at the contact form under Home | Contact above. All written content on this site by Vern Lovic. Contact me at Google+. Cheers!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Copyright © Thailand Expat Blog | Living, News, Photos, Podcast, Video. All rights reserved. ThaiPulse created by IncZen.