How to Find a Good Thai Wife to Marry in Thailand
©2019 Mark Deemis. All rights reserved.
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This book was written for men like you that would like to find a Thai woman for a wife, and do not have any good plan for how to make that happen yet without just resorting to finding a prostitute in a bar.
I’ll give you a few different ways you can come to Thailand and find a bride. There are easy ways to go about this, and more difficult ways. There are ways that involve spending a lot of money, and there are some other cheaper options.
If you’re spending money, you can do this in two to four weeks. If you don’t have money to spend, and you can live here for a while and take your time, it can take a little longer but maybe your satisfaction will be higher in the end because you spent time in the country getting to know more than just a few women. You’ll choose whatever makes more sense to you.
It is my hope that you are able to find a Thai wife within 14-30 days of looking. Everyone is different. You may need to come back a couple times to make it happen.
If you give it your best shot the first time – it just might be possible. I think some of you will pull it off. I’ll give you all the help I can, and the rest is, of course up to you.
If you attempt to follow the tips in this book and come to Thailand to find your bride-to-be and realize at some point you’re not going to pull it off without some big help, send email to see if we can meet with you and help.
This is obviously the most expensive way to go about it but still, pretty damn reasonable considering you’re looking for a good girl to spend the rest of your life with and maybe to raise your children.
To be honest, over the years I’ve had just under a dozen requests for help to personally come to some area of Thailand and help the person find the ‘right’ Thai woman for marriage.
Sometimes the money was right, but the timing was off. Other times, the timing was good, but the offer just wasn’t reasonable enough for me to leave what I had going on at home to go help.
I always have a number of online projects I’m working on, so I’m not free to just fly over to wherever you are, unless it makes sense monetarily. If you want personal help, write first and we’ll see if we can work something out. Email address is at the end of this book.
Though some guys seem content enough to date and get married to Thai women that once sold themselves to anyone with 500 THB for a short-time experience, this book isn’t about that, or we’d have named it, “Find a Wife in Bangkok 35 Minutes After Leaving the Airport.”
You don’t need a book for that. Book a plane ticket to Bangkok and hit Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy, or head over to Pattaya or down to Patong Beach, sit in the bars and tell girls you are looking for a bride.
Maybe there is nothing easier (or more ridiculous!) than finding your new Thai bride this way. Many guys have done it this way. Maybe you have already done so and are now reading this book, so you can try again to find a woman you’ll have a better chance at success with this time.
What is a “Good Thai Woman for Marriage”?
Let’s clarify what we’re talking about here.
Essentially, when you boil it down to the basics, we came up with the idea that a good Thai woman for marriage is one who would make a good partner for you and a good mother for your children.
Most Thai women under 35 are interested in having children. You may or may not be interested, but you may have kids whether you want them or not – at some point down the road.
A good Thai partner is not someone who was a prostitute before. I mean, just according to probability.
Prostitutes are for short-time adventures, so to speak. If you’re just looking for endless adventure after hard-core adventure, then don’t get married. Just go have fun like so many guys are doing in Thailand today. Some live here, and some make yearly visits.
I cannot judge. And, quite frankly – I’ve been there. Again, and again.
Knowing Thai girls working in “The Business” of taking cash for sex – I couldn’t imagine that a guy would choose a girl who has worked in “The Industry” to marry.
We don’t want any of our readers to fall into this bottomless pit of problems. If you don’t necessarily care, this isn’t the book for you. There is a small window of time for you to get a refund with Amazon – get your refund now!
A good Thai woman for marriage is someone that may be the mother of your children. The absolute bottom line is, who in the world would want the mother of their kids to be an ex-whore working the streets or tossing her legs in the air in a Soapy Joint in Pattaya?
There are many guys out there that don’t give it much thought.
I’ve been interested in this topic for years. How can I help guys that currently live overseas or even right here in Thailand, to find a good wife?
There is a lot of interest in the topic. One time on a website I wrote an article about the topic and then I offered to help guys find a good Thai woman for a wife for $5,000 USD plus expenses of traveling around with the gentleman and helping guys talk to many potential girls to find “the one.”
I wrote the article just to gauge interest. I was very surprised that there were guys interested in a customized service like this. I got about twenty emails that year asking if I could help.
I didn’t have time to start a business like that, and to my knowledge no such thing exists in Thailand even years later. It should exist though. Some of you could use it.
Some enterprising expat is going to figure out that a decent living could be made providing this service. It is in the interest of both parties. Who knows? Maybe you will be the one to start this business as soon as you figure out the process.
This book outlines everything I know about the subject, and with 14 years of living in Thailand and speaking Thai, I think I have some good ideas in this book.
Heck, for the small price of this book, you are getting over a decade of know-how and experience of living in Thailand. Not a bad deal, is it?
I hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Most of you probably have good ideas about how to start looking for a good girl in Thailand, you just lack the background knowledge to get it done. There are many websites you can go to that will give you half-an-idea about how to find a good Thai girl.
That’s a good start, and a piece of the puzzle, but putting it all together is what we’ve attempted here. I have never seen anything resembling a step-by-step guide to finding a good Thai girl in Thailand to take as a bride.
This book is not the perfect solution for everybody, but, by the time you are finished reading it you should be able to create a simple plan of attack of your own – using what you learned – to be able to find a great Thai wife in Thailand within a year, or possibly much sooner.
There is no one way to do this. There are many
ways you could go about it. I’ll take you through some of them, and give you as
much help as possible, so you can complete your mission.
CH 1 | Barriers to Finding a Good Thai Wife
Finding a good Thai wife in Thailand – home to millions of available women, is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. There are a number of things that can make the goal difficult, or even impossible.
Some Barriers to Finding a Good Thai Wife in Thailand
- avoiding prostitutes
- avoiding money-grabbers
- some Thai women wouldn’t consider a foreigner for marriage
- some women are already married – but, won’t tell you
These are just some obstacles that come quickly to mind.
There are, of course more.
The language barrier between women in Thailand and foreigners is huge. This is by far the biggest barrier you’ll face in your quest to find the perfect Thai wife in Thailand.
Learning Thai language is no small feat, and those expats who do learn how to speak Thai well are either quite talented in acquiring language, or they studied and practiced a lot. I’m the latter.
For an adult man from another country to come to Thailand and try repeatedly to pronounce simple words, it takes a level of effort that few can continually muster.
Unfortunately, it’s the same for Thai women learning to speak English. Though Thais have English taught in school from an early age, most of them don’t speak beyond a very basic few common words like – hello; oh my god; thank you; how are you today; teacher; etc.
Many know simple colors, body parts, and sometimes days of the week, but this is about all you’re going to get out of most Thai women.
Thais are very cautious of putting themselves in potentially embarrassing situations by attempting to speak English and being wrong. They may try a few times, but most learn that they are better off not trying because it’s so difficult.
This is one of the major factors contributing to Thais’ weak language acquisition skills – no matter which language they are learning.
It hurts too much (read about “Thai face”) to publicly say something incorrect over and over.
The concept of Thai “face” is one concept you should get up to speed on as much as possible before looking for a wife. It is one construct that will baffle you over and over if you do end up in a relationship with a Thai woman. Heck, I’m still dealing with it after fourteen years, but at least I know a bit about by now.
How to Get Over the Language Barrier?
I think it is safe to say that the language barrier is the biggest hurdle to clear. After all, if you could speak Thai you might not even be reading this book at all. You’d go to non-bargirl type places and just start talking to Thai girls. Thai women are often easy to talk to, and whether they return your conversation out of interest or politeness, they are still talking to you.
There are just two ways you can clear up the language barrier…
1. Learn Thai language to a degree that will enable you to talk with many girls in Thailand.
2. Employ someone that speaks English and Thai and that can (and will) translate correctly between you and Thai women.
I’ll cover both. Ideally you will make the effort to learn Thai sufficiently enough to come to Thailand and talk to a lot of girls privately and find one that you click with enough to marry.
If you hire someone – you can accomplish the task much quicker and yet unless the girl speaks English quite well to start with – there is probably a lot being lost in translation.
What happens once you move in together and neither of you speaks the other language? Like two mimes talking to each other. One of you should learn. Take it upon yourself to get started unless you don’t plan on living in Thailand after you marry. Then you’re going to want a Thai girl whose English is good enough to communicate at a high-enough level for you to maintain a relationship.
Do you need someone you can discuss high-level concepts with? That’s going to be tough to find, but there are women doctors here who can speak English well enough. You just have to find them.
Learning Thai in your home country (if that is where you are now), to a degree that will enable you to come to Thailand and talk to the local women will take a lot of time. Finding a woman you like, trust, and want to marry – and that wants to marry you – will take some time too.
If you studied Thai for one or two hours each day, perhaps in a year you might be able to come to Thailand and give it a shot on your own. Learning Thai is not easy. It’s frustrating. It’s one of the hardest languages to learn if English is your native language. There is very little cross-over.
You know how words in English sometimes sound like words in French, German, Spanish, or Dutch because the languages all came from Latin roots?
In Thailand that never happens unless the word used is the same. There are a couple hundred English words that Thais have adopted and use. They are not always pronounced the same, but the word is supposed to be the same. “Inter” is one. It means, international.
33 English Words Thais Use
- plastic bag
- 7-11 (seven)
- apple (Thais say appun – pronouncing the final L sound as N usually)
- ball (bon)
Learning Thai in your country, assuming there are Thais in the city you live in who can teach you Thai, can be difficult for another reason. Language differences between the geographical areas of Thailand.
There are numerous dialects and they are different enough from each other that you’ll be lost knowing one and trying to talk to someone from another.
My wife (I’m married to a great Thai girl!) comes from the northeastern province of Sisaket, Thailand. I met her in Ubon Ratchathani. She learned the Isaan (northeastern) Thai dialect, as well as “Bangkok Thai.”
When she is outside Isaan, she will likely speak Bangkok Thai because nobody will understand her, unless they also learned Isaan Thai.
When we moved from Isaan to southern Thailand, where they speak with a southern dialect, she was lost. She couldn’t understand our waitresses, our taxi drivers, our neighbors… nobody.
I remember having waitresses come to our table and say something – and she and I both looked at each other like – WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY?
In the south they shorten many words and they speak with little to no intonation. No rising and falling tones at all. It’s flat. It is tough to distinguish the consonants too but the vowels seem to be more clearly spoken.
Southern Thais’ speak very fast too… so it often sounds like “Whaaaahhhawwaaoooowwwaaaa Wah?”
Not joking, it is that bad.
So, what will you learn? Chiang Mai Thai? Isaan Thai? Bangkok Thai? Southern Thai? Deep South Thai?
Just learn Bangkok Thai. Insist on it. Don’t learn the Isaan dialect because you want to be one of the in-group when, or if you ever make it up there.
People in Isaan will love you – but, elsewhere you’ll just be someone Thais don’t want to talk to. There is some taboo about learning Isaan Thai as a foreigner. Typically, foreigners in the country learn Isaan Thai because they learn it in the bars in Pattaya, Bangkok, and Patong Beach.
Thais cringe when they hear it, and they instantly associate you spending your vacations in bars when you come to visit Thailand.
You won’t impress anyone outside Isaan by knowing Isaan Thai so, don’t bother. Learn some words – sure. It’s great to know some Laotian vocabulary too, which the Isaan people really love. If you know some Laotian words, you’ll be treated very well in Isaan.
Learning Bangkok Thai ensures that you can communicate with most of the people in the country. There are girls without basic high school education that don’t know Bangkok Thai, but, probably you wouldn’t be interested in taking them for a wife either. Not that there aren’t great Thai girls without education, but, your chance of having a successful marriage probably drops if you find someone who hasn’t completed high school.
So, ideally, you would find someone to teach you Bangkok Thai in your home country. That might prove difficult to find someone to teach you, or it might be an awesome way to get to know not only the language, but to know the country through the eyes of someone who grew up there.
You would have the opportunity to ask the person teaching you many things about Thai culture and living. It might also help you decide whether or not you could live in Thailand full-time, once you do find the right girl to marry. Many Thai women don’t want to leave Thailand for foreign places.
There have been some horrible stories of girls that were trafficked into prostitution or used as drug runners for guys that find them in Thailand and promise them a better life in their foreign country. Many Thai girls won’t consider leaving Thailand anymore. You can hardly blame them.
So, this will be another factor you’ll need to consider in your hunt for the ultimate Thai wife for yourself. Does the girl even want to move away from Thailand? Could you convince her that her life would be better in your country?
Getting back to language. If you are serious about taking a Thai bride, you will learn basic Thai. That’s our own prejudice about the subject I guess. Learning English is just as difficult for Thais, and maybe – probably – more so than it will be for you to learn Thai. English is a horribly difficult language to learn well.
If your plan is to live in Thailand with your new Thai wife it only makes sense to learn Thai, and learn it to a basic, or just beyond basic, level.
Once you have the basics of the Thai language down and live in the country for a number of months or years, you can decide if you want to keep learning Thai to higher and higher levels.
Personally, I didn’t see the need for it. I can speak Thai on a basic level to anyone, and I’m understood maybe 90% of the time. There are many things I miss in conversation, but, once you speak at a basic level, Thais just overlook whatever you don’t understand.
They are usually just amazed that you can talk to them at all. If you are not working with Thais and don’t need to know high-level Thai, there doesn’t seem to be much point in learning it at that level.
I know very few foreigners who can speak Thai at any sort of meaningful high level, and very few foreigners who want to.
Up to you – as they say here often. You might see a need for it, or you might not.
What are Good Online Resources for Learning Thai?
WomenLearningThai.com – Catherine has some language tips, and a lot of resources to help people start out learning this difficult language. Despite the name, it isn’t just for women.
Thai-Language.com – a free site with a lot of practice exercises.
Learn-Thai-Podcast.com – a pay site to help you learn the Thai language. This site popped up a few years ago, it was created by a guy in his 30’s that lives in Europe and that has a wife from Thailand to help him with the lessons. Quite a good way to learn Thai.
YouTube.com/user/learningthai – same business as above, but these are some free lessons they put on YouTube.
ThaiPod101.com – another good site.
YouTube.com/user/ThaiPod101 – the business above also has some free YouTube videos.
Pimsleur.com – Pimsleur Thai. This is an audio course that you can find for learning simple or advanced Thai. They have 30 half-hour lessons on audio for $120. I have gone through the first 6 audio mp3’s and found it helpful, but I’d probably be inclined to use something with photos, videos or other interactive learning tool as well as plain audio. If your’e going to pay for an online course, choose this one. Learn-Thai-Podcast.com would be the second course I’d do.
Of course, the best resource for learning Bangkok Thai will be to find a native Thai speaker in your town to help you. You’ll need to pay, of course, but you couldn’t do better than finding a real person to help you learn this difficult language. The pronunciation is the important part.
How Long will it take to Learn Thai to Communicate Well Enough with Your Future Wife?
It really depends entirely on you. We’ve seen people learn basic Thai in three months here in Thailand where practice was available everywhere they went.
If you’re here in the country it will be much easier for you to learn Thai if you just insist on not speaking English – and practicing your Thai daily. Three months might be enough if you’re immersed in it.
For me, I studied diligently on my own for a year, giving myself 1,500 note-cards of Thai vocabulary, and practicing speaking with people I met at the stores, post office, bank, friends, and strangers. I still didn’t know much Thai at the end of a year – and that was while living here. I am definitely language-learning challenged (slow), you might say!
How to Know if You’ve Learned Enough Thai to Come to Thailand and Find a Wife?
As a minimum you should know all the basic vocabulary – colors, days of week, months, time, places, directions, food of all sorts, items you use daily like table, plate, forks, car, taxi.
You should be able to ask the woman about her life – where she grew up, about her family – what do they do? Where did she go to school? What does she like to do? What does she want for the future? You know what you’d need to ask her before you feel comfortable enough and safe enough to marry her.
Some guys wouldn’t require much more than what I mentioned above. Hell, some of you would just check for a pulse, make sure she’s presentable, and give her a ring.
Be honest! If that’s all you need – you might be able to find a Thai girl who speaks English well enough to communicate with – but, you shouldn’t rely on it. You’ll be spending money every day you’re in Thailand looking for a wife, and you can really maximize your chances by learning as much Thai as you can before you arrive.
Instead of Learning Thai – Here’s Another Option
Pay someone to translate between English and Thai for you. Travel around with that person while on your search for a proper wife.
There are some benefits to this approach, and some drawbacks.
First the benefits.
You can leave for Thailand as soon as you find someone to translate for you, or, you could even come first and find a translator when you arrive.
Ideally you would find someone online who can help you find a Thai wife and negotiate a price for your adventure. Tell the person everything that would be required – that you will be traveling for a couple of weeks and your one goal is to find a good Thai woman to marry and live with here in Thailand or to take home with you after getting married in Thailand or getting a fiancé visa to visit your country and having the wedding there.
You could probably expect to pay about 1,000 Thai Baht per day for someone (a Thai) to translate for you. In addition, especially if it was a female – you would need to get her a separate hotel room and for anyone you hire, take care of buying all food and transportation costs. I’ll go over the total expected costs you might face later in the book.
Once you have either learned Thai well enough to talk with potential wives, or you have found someone that can translate everything for you – you can book your ticket to arrive in Thailand, or, if you’re already here – get started ASAP.
Whichever option you choose – learning Thai yourself, or paying someone to translate for you – there are a number of questions you’re going to need to ask someone before you both decide you are right for each other.
Thai – Foreigner relationships are different in their make-up than relationships started in your own country.
Make sure you talk about the following topics with your wife to be – as a minimum:
1. Where will you live after marriage?
If you plan to live in your home country – make sure she has a good idea what life is like there. Use your phone to make videos of you walking around your house and neighborhood to show her what it will be like. Show her pictures of six feet (2 meters) of snow if that’s what you get in the Winter. Show her your sister’s kids that live with you. Show her the parks, schools, and attractions that are close by your home in your country, so she has a great idea what she’s getting into.
If you are planning on staying in Thailand – make sure you agree on a city to stay in.
Do you really want to stay with her family in the village? Many (most) guys cannot handle such a thing. It sounds romantic (or something) when you first consider the idea, but the reality is that village life is VERY slow and very boring.
If you need an internet connection – make sure you can get it before you move. If you need satellite TV – make sure it’s available. If you need to get pizza once a month, make sure it is within driving distance.
I have a friend living at the very edge of the northeast part of Thailand. Literally, if you go northeast from Bangkok as far as you can – and before you cross the Mun River to Laos – you will arrive at my friend’s village.
He has been there a little less than ten years. He thought he could handle it. He teaches in a local school and gets great money for the cost of living. His wife also teaches there. His daughter goes to school there.
Well, he seems to have finally reached the end – he can’t take it any longer. He’s going back to Hawaii to teach for a year and save up some cash to pay off his new Honda and payoff some bills he had before he moved to Thailand.
I know some guys who have lived in the villages of Isaan for a decade, and more. Some are quite happy.
Who’s the guy who wrote “Thai Girl”? I think he’s been in the village for two decades or longer. Apparently, he is loving it. At least if you believe the book, he is!
2. When you move to your new residence – is it permanent, and you plan on living there for the next 30 years?
Or, are you flexible about moving in a few years if you are both not satisfied where you are? Being flexible is important in a dual-culture marriage.
3. Will she drive in your country or Thailand?
Does she drive in Thailand? Will you pay for her driving lessons, so she can learn? Will you buy a car in Thailand if you stay here, or, will you both be on motorbikes and songthaew?
4. Is any sin sot required?
This is a traditional payment from the husband to the wife’s parents. The amount varies. My wife and her parents made it clear that they expect nothing. Of course, I’ve already shown over the past seven years that I can take care of her and our daughter.
Some families see sin sot as a substantial requirement and will require half-a-million or more Thai Baht. Others, are fine with 50,000 THB or 100,000 THB. Others won’t ask for anything at all.
I remember a friend in Ubon writing a million Baht check and putting it on the offering dish at his wedding. He had told them beforehand that it was just for show. He took it back later and tore it up.
5. What will your wife and her family expect from you after you marry?
Make sure you find out about the needs her family has once she marries you. No really.
Some families see a farang joining the family and think you are a bank to loan and give money freely to family members. If your wife feels the same way, you’re going to have a hell of a time fending off requests.
There is a cultural requirement for sons and daughters to support their parents as the parents are too old or not fit, or not willing to work.
Find out what might be required to give her parents. It might be substantial – 20,000 THB or more per month. It might be 5,000 or 10,000 THB per month. If your wife is working too, she might just give that money to her parents without any discussion with you because it’s the normal, right thing to do in her culture.
You will need to talk about everything so it’s all out in the open. This is a major area of disagreement for many couples and the only way to resolve it is to give something. We’ve given my wife’s mom 5,000 THB per month for about twelve years now. She’s quite happy with that, and she has saved a nice little nest-egg for herself.
Will your wife expect you to give her money every month? Whether she is working or not, she might think that she should be entitled to money from you each month. Get that ironed out.
6. Will her parents move in with you at some point? When?
My wife’s mom moved in with us when we had our daughter. She never left. I’m not bitter at all, I love her mom, she’s a very hard worker and has never asked for any more money than the pittance we give her monthly. If you don’t get along with the parents, you sure don’t want them moving in with you. Thai women almost always put the parents first, kids second, and husband third. Remember that bit of wisdom!
7. Talk about all the expenses of living in Thailand.
There is car insurance (cheap) and health insurance (cheap too, but on the order of 40,000 THB per year for you and her and a child). Car payments. Gas. Rent. Cable TV. Internet. Travel to or from your home country. Monthly support to her parents. Dining out money. Taxes. Etc.
8. Will you have children?
Most Thai women want kids. How many kids, and when?
9. If you’re planning on living in Thailand – can you stay full-time?
Many expats work teaching English. Some work in diving schools as Divemasters. Some expats try their hand at running a bar or restaurant. Or, will you need to return to your home country and work for some months before you can return? Will this be ongoing, or a one-time thing?
10. Does anyone have a gambling problem in her family?
Gambling in Thailand, and all Asian countries is a special problem. It’s a huge social problem and I know many friends affected by it. Not that they were gamblers, but their wife or someone in the family was. These guys ended up paying part or all of the gambling debts for the family members.
In one case a female teacher from the UK married a Thai guy in Isaan – also a teacher. She bought them a new house. He was a gambler. He got some lump sums of cash to gamble using their house as collateral for bank loans. He lost the bets, and they both lost the house. This was in the course of just eighteen months after she married.
Gambling is a horrible thing in Thailand and you need to make it crystal clear to your wife that if someone is in trouble for debts, that it is their own trouble, not yours. You’re not bailing anybody out for any amount of money.
Likewise, set the stage for what you will or won’t loan out or give out money for. Maybe in three years your new wife will let you know her mom needs an addition to her house. Talk about it now, addressing whether that will ever be a possibility or not.
In our family, I give out nothing to relatives, that includes my wife’s brother, except the monthly payment to her mom. Her mom has no expenses, she can save 50,000 THB per year if she wanted to (and she does). Anyway, get it all straightened out about money before it becomes a problem because if anything CAN become a problem, it’s money.
Instead of launching straight into “The Plan” I want to talk about the other barriers to finding a great Thai woman to marry, first.
As I said at the beginning of the book, if you are looking for a prostitute to marry you will have no problem whatsoever in completing that goal within hours or days – if you so choose. There are guys who come for a couple days, find a woman working in a bar in one of the adult nightlife areas – and either marry her here in Thailand or arrange for a fiancé visa within days.
That is a high-risk proposition, and really not very smart. I won’t go into all the bizarre stories that have happened as a result of this foolhardy practice, you can find them on StickmanBangkok.com by the hundreds. Check out the “Reader’s Submissions” page. There are so many stories you couldn’t read them all in a week.
Avoiding prostitutes is something that will take some doing. There are some general guidelines you can follow, but you must realize that none of this is foolproof. There are girls who absolutely do not fit the mold of prostitute, or ex-prostitute, and yet – they were involved in the business, maybe for years before meeting you.
Some of the smartest guys are fooled over this. We’ll give you some things to look out for that might signal the girl you are considering for marriage worked in a pay-for- play area of Thailand.
To Avoid Prostitutes and ex-Prostitutes, Avoid:
1. Women Smokers
A girl who smokes, is typically a girl with one of four backgrounds:
A. An agricultural worker who spent most (all) her life working in the fields. She is unlikely to have a high school education. Some farm workers pick up the habit in the fields. She’s safe for dating!
B. A Thai woman who smokes might have come from overseas where she either grew up or lived for some amount of time with another man that was maybe her husband or long-term boyfriend. She is safe to consider!
C. A lesbian, a Tom. Toms are girls who play the role of men and try to get Thai women to sleep with them and form relationships with them. Occasionally you’ll see one smoking, as she’s trying to show people she is manly. You won’t likely be very interested in one of these ‘girls’ because they dress like men, have short hair, and rarely look or interact with foreigners at all.
D. An ex- or current prostitute. Really, there aren’t any other real options. Maybe one out of 500 other girls, regular Thai girls, will smoke. It is very rare because in Thailand smoking is a male habit.
In southern Thailand, nearly all the men smoke. In the northeast, it’s less, but still there are quite a few now.
Good Thai women smoking? Very, VERY rarely. So, take that for what it’s worth. It’s a sign, that’s all – not 100%.
Oh wait, you know what? I forgot one.
There is one more type of girl that tends to smoke more than any of the other girls, and that’s a ladyboy.
There are many ladyboys who smoke. Just another reason to avoid smoking Thai ‘girls’!
If you are one of those guys who really loves it when a girl smokes, find a girl that doesn’t smoke and teach her to smoke.
2. Women with Tattoos
This one is rather tricky. I knew a girl in Mathyom 4 (Thai 10th grade) – at sixteen-years-old. She already had three tattoos on her neck and arms and she was going to a private Christian school where some friends of mine taught.
She was known as sort of a ‘bad girl’ and was even smoking at the time. Was she a prostitute? No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure she was not. However, she was often seen hanging around a gang of boys that were involved in a local gang.
There is a chance she straightened up and went on to lead a good life without having stepped foot inside the bars. I’m going to guess she is, today working in a bar or other adult establishment and taking money for sex. Just a guess.
Thai girls who take cash for sex are, by FAR, the Thai girls you’ll see with tattoos most often. Though regular girls are sometimes getting tattoos now, you can be sure that traditional girls from Isaan or upcountry, are not even considering it. No good girl wants to be associated with the lowest level of society – the prostitutes and drug users, the thieves, and so forth. Few traditional girls from Isaan with a family of teachers or other professionals, will get a tattoo.
There are Thais in Bangkok mostly, who think tattoos are fashionable. Look at Angelina Jolie – she’s basically a walking billboard. Sometimes Thai girls who think they are fashionable will also get tattoos. This is probably changing dramatically at the moment, and in ten years half the girls in the country over twenty-one years old will have them.
At the moment it is still a somewhat reliable indicator that the girl is or has been in the pay-for-sex career field at some point.
Another thing that matters is where the tattoo is on the girl’s body. One of the girls who works at our local post office has two tattoos of flowers on the top of her chest. That, and the way she looks at me – and the fairly good level of English she can speak, lets me know that she was a prostitute in the past – I’m at least 95% sure.
I don’t know whether she did it for two weeks, or for two years, or ten. But I do know that you are very unlikely to meet a Thai girl with tattoos on the upper part of her breasts – who was not a bargirl or working in the industry in some way.
So, tattoos are a sign, not a great sign and not perfect, but not bad either. Take this into account when you meet a new girl and try to figure out where she might have had them done. There is a chance she was never a bad girl, and she spent some time overseas with a boyfriend or husband that encouraged her to get tattoos too.
Here’s another one I’ll just throw out there. I’m not sure how spot-on it is, but I think this is a good sign – maybe as high as 90% likely you’ve found a prostitute if she has a strange shiny thing on one of her teeth. I have no idea what this is, and I haven’t seen one for the past five years. It’s been that long since I’ve been hanging out in Patong Beach or Pattaya though.
When I saw it on a German expat’s wife today – who was smoking, and from Patong Beach, but born in northeast Thailand… I remembered, those sparkles on the girls’ teeth are very popular in Pattaya and Patong Beach.
Is it a great marker for those in “The Industry”? I think it’s a very good one, but I’m open to other opinions on this because it isn’t something I’ve thought about much at all. I’m sure I haven’t seen one in ten years anywhere in the non-sexpat areas of Thailand.
3. Women who Know Pattaya, Patpong, Patong Beach, or some other bar or sexpat area.
Most of the good Thai women I know have never seen the inside of a bar and have never been to these three places.
Good Thai women just don’t usually go there, there is no reason to. There is no desire to. Thai guys do not bring their women to the bars if you haven’t noticed.
They go with their friends. Why? They’re going to look at and chat up women – sometimes. Why bring their wives or girlfriends?
If the girl you’re with is showing you around Pattaya, then she had better have a real good reason why she knows the area so well. Born there? I’d already suspect her. Worked in a pizza place there – or working as anything there? I’d already suspect her.
The entire area of Pattaya is caught up in a different reality than the rest of Thailand. People in Pattaya are playing the game – sex for money. I have met numerous girls working the hotels there, serving me pizza, or waiting on me at the McDonald’s – who were ready to go back to my room with me. It’s a place where even once-good women see freelancing and making some extra cash in this high cost of living area, as acceptable. So, they end up freelancing.
I have a couple friends who swear up and down that there isn’t an honest woman, a non-prostitute, within the cities of Pattaya or Patong Beach. I have seen them bed women who were married, and that looked like they were off the game – but turns out they were taking money for sex.
The entire place is suspect, and you can’t possibly go looking for a girl to marry when she knows one of the adult areas inside and out. If you want that, save yourself the time and effort and go book a hotel on Walking Street or Beach Road in Pattaya and you’ll find exactly the type of no-class girl you are looking for.
4. Women who have Sisters, Moms, or Close Friends who are Prostitutes.
Let’s say you met what you thought was a great girl here in Thailand and you were sure she was the one for you.
You spent weeks or months together and all was “great.” You made a plan to go meet her family and you find out that one or more of her sisters works in Pattaya and they came back to meet you at the house with the family. What would you do?
Get out as fast as you got in.
Really. There are SO many available girls in the country that you need not mess with anyone with close ties to the sex-for-money areas. Sisters tell sisters a hell of a lot in Thailand. They influence each other a lot.
What usually happens, from what I’ve seen is that the good girl begins to think of her sister that is taking money for sex as a good girl just doing what she doesn’t have a choice about. She’ll rationalize that it’s OK to do.
I think one major issue with having sisters or close friends that work in the industry is that a good woman starts to focus on money – obsessively.
There can be a lot of money made as a prostitute in Pattaya. I saw a dark-skinned, skinny girl on Beach Road as I laid out on the beach and read a book – that went with seven guys in two hours! If the going rate was 500 THB – and it was, she made 3,500 baht plus any tips – for two hours of work. She was still going when I left the beach.
I don’t think it’s a stretch to guess that she could have made 5,000 THB every day she decided to step out the door in her tight satin shorts and half-shirt. She could literally be pulling in more than most of us expats – at $5,000 USD per month. Sure, she’s risking her life, but wow, there’s money in the business for some of the girls who choose to do it.
Girls in the industry look at foreigners as big wallets, ATM machines. They are always looking for hand-outs and always want more money. The topic of their conversations is often – money. They want a newer car, a newer phone, a better computer, some more gold, gold for her family, gold for her cow. The cycle is never-ending, and it’s not what you want to marry into.
I’m not saying that every girl with a sister that takes money for sexual favors in Pattaya is not good wife material. But, she’d never be my wife material.
I’d start with someone clean and fresh, untainted. I’d start with a girl that knew nobody working in the industry and a girl who had never been in a bar in her life. I’d start with a girl like my wife.
No, I’m NOT suggesting you look up my wife!
I’m just saying – start with someone who has everything going for her. Why not stack the deck in your favor?
Those are a couple basic guidelines to avoiding prostitutes and finding decent Thai girls. Of course, the big one is – avoid finding any girl in a bar, massage place, soapy, disco, or other adult establishment.
Yes, discos too! Not all discos – but those in or around adult areas like Pattaya, Patpong, Patong Beach, and now Udonthani is becoming a haven for girls from Pattaya who prefer the smaller town atmosphere.
On the one hand, there are plenty of girls who
are not prostitutes in Thailand’s discos and nightclubs. On the other hand –
there are plenty of freelancers at these clubs, and it is impossible to tell
whether a girl just got out of the bar or soapy and is looking for some paid
action – or, whether she is just a college girl out for a night of fun with her
friends. In the areas mentioned, you’ll find plenty of both types of girls.
Some Thai Women won’t consider marrying a foreigner
You’ve heard the stories – Thai women are crazy for foreigners. Well, some are, and some are not. Some are not at all. There are many Thai women that would never consider marriage to a foreigner and there are a variety of reasons for it.
1. The woman comes from a high-society type family that considers only other high-society type Thais or Chinese for marriage into the family.
2. Some Thai girls are afraid of foreigners. As you know, Thailand doesn’t pull the cream of the crop – the Crème de la crème of society, as visitors.
In the past especially, there have been basically 3 types of visitor to Thailand.
B. Backpackers with no money, looking to see as much as possible for as free as possible.
C. Guys who bring their family for vacation.
Of these, group C is the smallest by far. Group A – the biggest. Over the years Thais are becoming more cautious and afraid of foreigners because they are hearing more about the crazy exploits some of us are up to.
Pattaya is just a cesspool of behavior, that most good Thai girls don’t want to be a part of. With the internet, stories about foreigners are passed around easily and there are enough negative stories to turn a lot of women off the idea of marrying a foreigner.
Even if you find a Thai girl willing to date and marry you, she might be totally unwilling to return to your home country with you – whether that is in Canada, UK, USA, Australia, or Singapore.
There are so many stories out there now about girls from Thailand who have been tricked into being sex slaves and drug mules for guys who promised them a better life in another country.
In the past they were just stories, but now that everyone has internet, the knowledge is so widespread it is easy for Thai women to hear all the scary things going on in the world. Some of them start to fear leaving the safety of their homeland.
When you come to Thailand looking for your bride, you’ll likely find girls with no interest in moving to your country – be prepared for it and move on if it’s a requirement you have.
One thing that might help convince a Thai girl to move over with you is if you are in an area of your country where there are many other Thai and Asian people.
No Thai girl wants to be the only one in the city you’re in. If you live in London, San Francisco, New York, or any major city with a Chinatown area you’ll have a better chance at bringing a Thai girl with you than you would if you lived in a log cabin in the forest in Oregon.
Some Thai Girls Are Already Married to Thai Guys
Thai guys have a remarkable tolerance for letting their wives marry a foreigner, when it means that he will be supported and not have to work.
This happens over and over, and a fellow author friend of mine had this happen three weeks ago. He was married to a woman living in Sisaket province, in the northeast. He was there for four months per year with her – but, he always needed to return to Los Angeles, California to make more money so he could return again.
Their plan was that eventually he would move to Thailand full-time, but he was having difficulty making that happen.
I wrote him to find out when the next visit here would be, and he told me that he’s coming in November, but that he was ‘burned’ by his wife who already had a Thai husband. I didn’t ask how it happened, better not to make him relive it, I thought.
This happens quite often.
Guess what? It usually happens with girls who were in the pay-for-play industry before. A girl that sold herself for 500 THB ($15 USD) at a time, can’t be trusted to be faithful to you no matter how much better you make her life.
Girls in The Industry are always looking for more cash and a better deal. No, they don’t want to give up the deal they have… they just want it to get better. They do whatever they need to for that to happen. Often times it means taking multiple husbands.
There are girls on Beach Road in Pattaya who already have fiancés sending them money monthly, but they are still turning tricks because they can still make a couple thousand Thai baht per night doing so.
If her fiancé is sending 20,000 or even 40,000 THB per month. It’s nice money, but she wants more. Never mind that she and her entire family of eight brothers and sisters, mom, dad, and grandparents can all live on 40,000 THB – she wants more because she is still in survival mode and knows that she won’t be young and good looking forever.
She makes money while she can. It’s this survival mode that is one of the reasons you don’t want to marry a Thai girl who worked on her back. Ever.
They all seem to have this idea that whatever they can do to make more money now while they are young and they can – it’s just fine to do so.
Looking at it from her perspective… how far can she trust a guy coming from abroad that comes to Pattaya to pay for sex with many different Thai girls, and who has probably been coming for years and is on the game himself?
Should she risk that this guy is a great guy that will solve her money problems, give her a family, and stop his whore-mongering?
I don’t think she’d be smart to trust a guy like
that. But, I don’t think it’s right that she takes his cash and says she’ll be
faithful to him and stop working the bars or streets – and then keeps right on
CH 2 | The Plan
You’ve either learned Thai or found someone to translate for you as you go off on your Thai wife hunt. You know the major barriers to finding a Thai wife and you’re ready to go.
You should have about $12,000-15,000 USD to bring, just in case there is any emergency, and that’s not including your plane ticket to arrive in Bangkok.
Make your plane reservation to Bangkok (BKK or DMK – airport codes). Make it a one-way, or open-ended return ticket because you don’t know how long you’ll be staying.
Come for at least 30 days, and possibly longer. Make a reservation for a hotel in Bangkok that will pick you up at the airport because there could be a significant fee for a cab ride to your hotel if you don’t. If you don’t care – no matter. I try to avoid Bangkok taxis at all costs, but of course it’s impossible if you’re there for any length of time.
Anyway, if you don’t have your flight arranged to reach Ubon – immediately upon arrival, go to the bright red Air Asia counter and get a reservation for a flight from Bangkok to Ubon Ratchathani (UBP – airport code).
Your Translator / Interpreter
Almost for sure you’re going to need a interpreter unless you’re extremely motivated and learned Thai first.
There’s little point in staying in Bangkok unless you’re going to meet your translator there. If that’s the case, take a taxi to the address of the translation company, meet her. Qualify her.
Do you understand her English? Ask her questions about her background, what university she went to, etc.
Make sure she understands that you’ll be in Ubon Ratchathani for a couple of weeks. Make sure she understands that you may cut her short before that time, and you’ll give her 3,000 THB severance for cutting it short if that happens. That’s $100 USD and will enable her to either get a flight back to Bangkok or take the train ($22 one-way with air conditioning).
Ideally you would meet someone in Ubon to translate for you – because you’ll save on the airfare, severance, and even hotel room because the girl can stay at her home in Ubon while you stay at the hotel in the one room you need to pay for.
There are also translators in Ubon you can speak with. I’d recommend someone in Ubon, but you might have trouble booking her – as she is always busy with school and getting various businesses up and running.
Her name is Benz. Her email bounced on me recently, but I’m sure she has another one. She lives in Ubon and she speaks English well enough to help you with what you need. Benz is quite street smart and knows her way around the city. She is also well connected.
The way to find her is how I did… I got off the plane in Ubon, walked into the public non-restricted area where the taxi guys are waiting to pick you up – I made a right and walked until I saw the convenience store – it’s more like a tourist souvenir shop.
That was where I met her. She no longer works there, but I am sure the women working there know her and have her phone number in their phone. If you can get the point across – you just might be able to connect with her.
Feel free to contact any other translator you can find in Ubon to help. This is just a starting point. Benz may or may not be available, and I have no way of controlling that. If she can’t do it for you, she may know someone who can.
If you can’t find someone in Ubon Ratchathani to help you with translating, you’ll need to bring someone from Bangkok. Or, another option would be finding someone in a neighboring town – Nakhon Ratchasima (Korat), Khon Kaen, or elsewhere.
Google translators in Ubon and neighboring cities. Korat might be a good city to search, it’s very large and there are many foreigners living there.
You want a translator that is not, was not, ever a bar girl. Why? She’ll do the smartest thing she could – connect you with one of her bargirl friends or relatives. If, when you meet the girl that is to be your translator she has tattoos or other clues tell you that she is or was a bargirl – tell her you are sorry and go find someone else. This is crucial. Don’t settle for a bargirl because otherwise you’re going to get funneled toward other bargirls.
Before you agree to hire a translator make sure she knows what her job will be. She will need to introduce you to women in Ubon, or, wherever you are. You might visit other cities too. You will have business cards made up with your name on them – and you can write this translator’s name too. She’ll be handing them out for you, helping you meet as many women as possible.
Here are Translators You Can Try
English & Thai Center, 100 Ratchabut Road, Amphoe Muang, Ubon Ratchathani 34000
Phone: 086 246 0754
Jureerat Boonwan, a freelance interpreter in Ubon. 208 Moo 13 Raitai Sub District, Phibunmungsahan, Ubon Ratchathani 34110
Thailand Interpreters and Translators Association, here is their Facebook page.
Here is a girl in Ubon that teaches English to Thais – but, her English is good enough to translate for you though she probably doesn’t have time to do it full-time:
Kruel Ooh, 100 Ratchabut Road 086.246.0754 – use that number if you’re in Thailand, or +66 86.246.0754 if outside Thailand.
Chutima Sawangpop, I found her address, but not a valid email. If you’re in Sisaket, you can head to this address and see if she still has her business there. Sisaket is just 70 km west of Ubon along the train route. Chotipan, 370/2 Moo 5, T. Nongkrok, A Muang, Sisaket 33000.
For a girl traveling with you from Bangkok to Ubon you can probably expect to pay 5,000 THB per day for her help in translating everything you need to. Her travel and food you will be paying as well. For breakfast you might pay 300 THB for both of you. Lunch – 300 THB, Dinner – 600 THB. So, count on $40 USD per day for food for both of you.
Once you meet up with a girl you like you’ll be adding another few hundred Baht per day to food costs. Even eating very well you’ll not spend more than 2,000 THB for three of you per day. So, budget for that amount.
Your room in Ubon will run about 1100 THB per day for a superior room. Your translator’s room – the same. These are the least expensive rooms at Sunee Grand Hotel today (2019). There are cheaper rooms in Ubon – and, if you manage to hook up with “Pichet,” he can give you a room for something like 5,000 THB ($166 USD per month) if you want to do it that way.
So, per day for food and room, count on the most – 4,700 THB – about $150 USD once you arrive in Ubon. Plus 5,000 THB ($150) for her fee per day – whatever you work that out to be.
Keep in mind that an interpreter who is not connected to any company will charge significantly less. You can probably find someone in Ubon to do it for 2,000 THB per day if you include meals as well. Take some time and find someone in Ubon – that’s our best advice.
Why Ubon Ratchathani?
Ubon is also known as Ubol. Ubon Ratchathani was a well-known rest and relaxation base for soldiers from the USA and other countries who were fighting in the Vietnam war.
Thais in Ubon remember the soldiers, and for some reason the foreigners left a good impression on the Thais. Could have been that the money they brought to the area was welcome, and it was the start of Ubon as a major city of Isaan, which it definitely is now.
Walking through the town I often had older men especially who would randomly reach out and touch my arm. They didn’t know how to speak English enough to ask if I would shake their hand or talk to them, but they wanted some of my “luck” to rub off… they wanted to remember the old days when Ubon was teeming with soldiers. They missed the “good old days.”
I spent a couple of years in Isaan, and in Ubon in particular for much of that time. Ubon is a special place – and the main place I’ll recommend you go to look for a Thai wife. There are many reasons for it but it ultimately comes down to the fact that Thais in Ubon are friendly and generally love foreigners. Really, it’s one of the best places I found to meet Thais, and especially Thai girls.
Ubon has a lot of girls who are of marriage age – and marriage-minded.
There are numerous universities in Ubon with large populations of Thai girls. Rajabhat, Polytechnic, Ubon Ratchathani University, and then about four major technical schools – most of which have guys attending, but there are also decent numbers of women. If you are 30-35 years old, you can target university girls if that’s what you desire for your new wife.
I was 38 when I found my 22-year-old recent college graduate girlfriend. Now she has been my wife for 14 yrs. I don’t know that I’d recommend a bigger age-gap than we have. Sure, you might be happy enough with it – but the girl might feel like she’s missing out on life if you’ve got grey hair, are 50+ years old and she’s 22. Unless you’re a very active 50.
Another reason to go to Ubon is that there are many retail stores there. Girls with university degrees are working in many of the Ubon retail shops, at the malls and shopping areas.
Ubon has a couple of big parks where fit-minded Thais go to exercise in the early evening after 5 pm. Tung C. Muang Park down near the river, and Nong Bua Park up by the Big C shopping center.
Yet another reason to go to Ubon is that it’s cheap enough to stay for a month with having to pay your translator’s room and food there.
And yet another reason to go to Ubon to find a wife is that there are no foreign focused pay for sex establishments. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of them – but, they cater to Thais and not western visitors. There are more than fifty such businesses in Ubon.
The big drawback to Ubon is that very few people speak English to any degree at all – that’s why it is essential that you either speak Thai or bring a translator with you. It is very difficult to find someone to speak English with, though that is changing a little bit.
Ex-bargirls and other sex workers who have returned to Ubon to live, can speak English. So, be wary of girls who speak English well in Ubon. They might have gone to university and majored in tourism and had many extra classes to help them learn English, or, they may have just got off the bus from Pattaya, retiring from a life on their back with their feet up in the air!
The girls in Ubon are the cream of the crop. Actually, there are many other cities where this is also true, Khon Kaen, Buriram, Roi Ett, Mukdahan, Sisaket, Nong Khai, Amnat Charoen, Surin, Yasothan. But, these cities are not so ideal for finding a Thai wife for one reason or other. Usually it’s that you won’t find women in sufficient quantity to look for a wife there.
The other reason Ubon is the place to go?
Pichet lives there.
Next Step – Now What?
You have your translator lined up and you are ready to take the plane to Ubon.
Call Pichet from your hotel in Bangkok to his house in Ubon. His phone number is: 083.129.3998. Ask him to pick you up from the airport and tell him exactly when your plane arrives.
Don’t be put off if you can’t get every word across to the guy. On the phone Thai and English are very difficult to understand. He’s an older guy, so speak loudly enough. If you can’t communicate what you want, have your translator give him a call and speak Thai to him, telling him to pick you up at the Ubon airport at whatever time you arrive.
Pichet is a Thai man, he’s about 70 years old. He is a remarkable business man… started out with very little. Well – nothing. He worked at the mental health facility in town for some years as he went about buying property for dirt cheap and building dorm rooms for university girls. It used to be JUST girls – and this is where I stayed for over a year.
Now he also accepts guys and it’s not as sweet a place as it once was, but, it’s Pichet that makes things happen in Ubon for you. Literally anything you want to happen – he is the ultimate connection to have in Ubon.
On top of that, he’s a very nice guy and very trustable. He has run a taxi service from the train station in Warin Chamrap for years and years. This is how I met him. He was the only one in a group of dozens of taxi guys who spoke English well enough to ask me “Where you go? Can I help you?”
Arriving at Ubon Ratchathani airport you’ll meet up with Pichet.
One thing worth noting. If you are coming to Thailand to meet a girl and you don’t necessarily care if she was a bargirl or worked in the industry before – you just want a nice girl that no longer works in the industry – Pichet can likely help you find a girl like this in Ubon.
If that’s what you decide to do, forget the translator in this case, and just fly from Bangkok to Ubon, call Pichet and tell him you need a place to stay.
He’ll set you up in a small, comfortable room in the middle of sixty other university kids that stay in the dorms surrounding you. He has cable TV, WIFI internet, warm showers, and is an incredible resource for finding what you require. He will do his best to find a girl you like.
He is incredibly resourceful, but, only when money is coming into his pocket – or, when he likes you as a good friend. You won’t be a good friend for nearly a year, so you’ll have to keep handing over 500 THB notes to keep him happy.
If you’re not, he won’t be happy, and you probably won’t even have the slightest idea. Your girl-searching adventure will slowly coast to a stop, and Pichet won’t be as helpful as he could be. Keep the 500 THB notes flowing – a couple per day for general help, and 1,000 THB for anything that gives you the happy ending and he should be pretty happy and doing his best for you.
Five-hundred Thai Baht is $15 USD. If you can’t see spending $30 USD per day for someone to help you do all you need to in Ubon – don’t go.
If you are really looking for a GOOD Thai girl – I wouldn’t use Pichet for anything more than transportation and inside knowledge about Ubon. He does know his way around the naughty nightlife, and he is incredibly resourceful in finding teen (18-19) university students that are looking for a little bit of extra money. But, for finding “good girls” – no.
Just trust me on that.
Ok then, back to the plan… once you arrive at the Ubon airport and meet up with Pichet – ask him to take you to your hotel, Sunee Grand Hotel.
If you cannot reach Pichet on the phone – there is a chance he is traveling or away from town for whatever reason. Keep trying him during your stay and probably you’ll reach him at some point.
Pichet is not crucial to your finding a good Thai wife – there are many taxi drivers in Ubon, tuk-tuk, songthaew drivers, and motorbike taxi drivers. Pichet is good to know if you can find him.
Why Sunee Grand Hotel?
The location is good.
You can find it on Google Maps at 512/8 Chayangkun Rd, Tambon Nai Mueang, Amphoe Mueang Ubon Ratchathani, Chang Wat Ubon Ratchathani 34000. Phone: +66 45 352 900.
There are nicer hotels – nicer rooms, better service and more lovely grounds. Forget all that. Sunee Grand Hotel is located in the shopping district of Ubon I guess you might say, right on upper Chayankul (pronounced Chayankun) Road. It has many floors, dozens of nice rooms, and has a large swimming pool, bar and restaurant. It is also convenient to Starbucks, if that’s something that you have to have every day.
There are massage places within the complex, and within walking distance are a couple more. These are traditional Thai massage establishments and no happy ending is offered. Usually.
Nevada Hotel (Ubon International Hotel now) is just down the road on the same side of the street has “The Rock.” This is the biggest nightclub in Ubon, and the biggest around for many miles. The Rock has shows nightly (dancing ladyboys and sexy girl dance routines) and it’s quite something to stop in there after 9 pm. on some nights. It might become a fairly regular haunt for you if you can stand the ear-splitting music.
Ubon International and Sunee Grand are convenient to a couple of shopping areas. You can walk a short distance or grab a taxi to the shopping mall across from the biggest university in Ubon – Rajabhat University. You’ll notice university girls running around there in their tight white shirts and black skirts.
Before Pichet leaves, plan to meet up with him for lunch, dinner, or whichever meal comes next. Tell him you’re paying – and ask him to pick you up and take you to a nice restaurant like the floating bamboo huts on the river by “Ring Road.”
Pichet doesn’t drink alcohol so your bill will be about $12 for a great meal. If you drink, beer is a couple dollars for a large, 22-ounce beer with 5-6% alcohol content.
If you have a translator with you from Bangkok, just tell her you’ll get started in the morning – if you haven’t already, give her 300 THB for dinner she can have at the hotel.
At the appointed time – let’s say it’s dinner, you meet Pichet out front and ask him to take you to Big C so you can get a cheap mobile phone and SIM card to use for a phone number while you’re in Thailand. There are a number of phone businesses there and hundreds of styles to choose from. Get a decent phone that you’ll be able to hear with. Cheap phones have horrible sound and it won’t be worth it to get the cheapest phones in the long-run. Buy something about 6,000 THB ($200 USD) for the best experience.
Of course, your phone may accept SIM cards and then you don’t need to buy an entire phone.
Go eat excellent Thai food and ask Pichet anything you want to about Thai culture, and how he might help you accomplish your goal.
When you get back to your hotel, make plans to check out The Rock and see if it’s a club you’ll be spending some time at. Ask your translator to come down with you if you don’t feel like going alone.
It’s a giant club with a few hundred people in it each night. On weekends, there must be 500+ and maybe even more than 1000 people. It is easy to meet people here and if you see a table of girls you can invite them to your table for a glass of whiskey.
Most Thai women in regular clubs won’t drink beer, but will drink 100 Pipers, Red Label or Black Label whiskey. 100 pipers is palatable. Really, it’s not too bad. If you are drinking Johnny Walker Red – that is a big step up. If you have Black – you are somebody. Blue or Green? Nobody is ever drinking it – but, it’s safe to say you wouldn’t be drinking it in The Rock either.
The crowd at The Rock is a mix of all sorts of Thais. Literally, everyone is there except workers from the rice fields. Doctors, lawyers and other high-so types, blue-collar, tech school boys, university students, Thai teachers, foreign teachers, and foreign Muay Thai boxers. Ubon is a top training spot for the sport and attracts a fair number of boxers, some of them world-class.
By 11:30 pm. everyone is feeling good and it’s a fun time on most nights. The ladyboy dance show is pretty good, and sometimes there are ladyboys dancing with the girls during the dance numbers. See if you can pick them out.
The next morning when you wake up – go have some breakfast in the main restaurant of either Sunee Grand or the Ubon International Hotel. If you found Pichet and can use him to take you around day after day, then great. It’s not essential, and some of you won’t be able to catch him – that’s OK. You can find taxis in front of the hotel. Start your adventure by visiting these places in the order they are listed below:
1. Kodak Photo Shop down by Tung C. Muang park in the center of the city. You’ll make 300-500 business cards here that you can hand out to women you meet so they have the phone number for you – and/or your translator. Make them nice style cards, and on the expensive side. You want to impress the women you’ll be handing them to.
Information to Include on your Card:
- Nickname (full name too). Thais take nicknames in English like “New Year,” “Pepsi,” “Benz,” and other funny names – Rabbit, Boom, etc. While you shouldn’t choose a funny name like one of those, something like “Mick” or “Tim” is fine. Translate everything into Thai too – don’t just use English.
- If you’re a good-looking guy, put your photo on the card. So, bring one on an SD memory card, or they can take a photo of you there at the shop. They also do passport photos.
- List your business. What you do. If you’re a train engineer, say that. If you’re retired – say retired, surgeon… or whatever you were during your working days.
- Country of origin.
- Translator’s phone – if you’re using one.
- Your Phone in Thailand and in your home country – with the correct country code.
- Any websites you have. Ask them to finish the cards by the next morning – and you’ll pick them up. Rush service if necessary, just get them as soon as possible, your target to find a Good Thai Wife is just 30 days and every minute counts. That’s what you should feel like – you’re on a mission, the mission of your life – and you must not fail.
There is no time to waste or to be lazy. Walk all over Ubon and find your wife. She’s there believe me! There are so many eligible girls in that city, many of them pure gems.
2. Tesco Lotus and the Dunkin Donut coffee shop. Try the coffee – I’ve had it a couple of dozen times and it’s nothing to get excited about, but you can force a cup down and watch all the foot traffic go past you. Many of the girls will be staring at you because you’re one of only about ten farangs (foreigners) they’ll see that day.
3. KFC in Robinson Center. Stroll by the glass walls and peer through. Anybody of interest? If so, have some fries now or when you come out of Robison’s.
4. Robinson Center and the coffee shop on ground floor. Usually good coffee here depending which employee is making it.
5. Swenson’s Ice Cream in Robinson. Get an ice cream and sit down in a place that will enable you to see all the customers coming in. Single girls often come in with or without other single girlfriends.
6. YingCharoen Park, across from Rajabhat University – and the coffee shops inside it. Make sure you hit every floor – all 3. Eat lunch here at the large food court. There are always available women here. Hint – all Thais seem to get out for lunch at noon.
Get to the food court before that, get your food, and sit down to watch the rush. Always sit facing where you expect all the other people to be. You’ll catch people looking at you all the time – smile! Thais love smiles, it makes them feel comfortable enough to talk to you first. If you’re always smiling – you’ll notice that you meet a lot of people in Thailand. Be approachable.
7. Tung C. Muang Park – after 4:30 pm. Sit around until people start coming, and then start walking around and smiling at people. They’ll know you are new in town and some people will talk to you.
Go have a shower back at your hotel and then head back out to check out some of the clubs. As a rule, the clubs don’t really get going until 9 pm., but, you don’t necessarily care – you want to meet women, and sometimes that is easier when the clubs are not full. Other times, it’s easier when they’re packed.
Hit all the clubs to see what they are like. You want to find clubs with a lot of people, but, more importantly – a place where it might be easy to meet women. I find that crowded clubs are pretty good – because inevitably you bump into a girl, or she bumps you. It’s also very easy to meet waitresses at restaurants you go to – and many of them, seeing a dead end life ahead for themselves, are possibly open to dating foreigners.
You may notice that you have more girls approach you to talk when you’re not with your translator – if you have one. Have her stay in the background then, and only come over when it looks like you’re having trouble communicating with a girl you’re talking with.
Don’t be shy to call girls over to talk – with or without the translator. If your Thai is OK enough to speak on a general level – that is all you need.
If I want to meet someone I call them over and tell them my name and ask their name. I ask where they come from. I ask where they were born. I ask if they speak English at all. I ask what schools they went to. If I like the girl, I’ll ask what time she gets off work – what time is she free? You can ask if a girl wants to go to dinner with you. You can tell her to choose where you both eat.
One thing about Thai girls is that, when asked to dinner by a foreigner, they will often bring at least one other girlfriend with them. This is for a couple of reasons:
1. It’s Thai style to bring someone else so it doesn’t appear that the girl is dating you – if she is not. Rumors fly fast and furious in Ubon and all Thai towns except maybe Bangkok, being too big for it.
2. The girl you asked to dinner might not feel like she has enough to talk about and brings her friend for some comfort. She may also be afraid, and this takes care of any weird feelings about it.
If you have a female translator with you, bring her, and then make it clear to the girl you want to ask to dinner that it is just her to come to dinner, not her and her friends or family.
We can’t tell you what to do every day, but for the first two days – follow our suggestions. This will help you find everything you need to in the city and get to see places you might like and want to return to repeatedly.
Have breakfast at your hotel.
1. If you arranged for Pichet to pick you up – great, if not, grab a tuk-tuk (3-wheeled motorbike with passenger seats) motorbike taxi (if you don’t have a translator) or regular taxi cab. Go to the Kodak shop to pick up your business cards.
2. Choose a coffee shop first. Thais grab coffee in the morning too – working Thais. Girls who work the bars and other naughty nightlife spots are sleeping until noon or past. This is another good bit of info. You won’t likely see a bargirl before noon.
3. If you haven’t bought the right clothes to match Thailand’s heat, you’ll know it by now. Maybe your pants or shirt are too thick or tight. Head to Robinson Center or Central World and shop for very lightweight clothes that you can wear in the stifling heat.
From March to September or so, Ubon is almost unbearably hot. You’ll be sweating steadily during this time. Light-colored shirts that don’t show your sweat – are advised.
Thais think anything, but dark colored pants are impolite – so, always wear dark pants. Shorts are impolite, but tourists are overlooked for it. If you prefer shorts, I think it’s not a big problem. If you can stand it by all means, wear pants.
From October to February it can be downright COLD in Ubon with the wind factor. It’s quite possible to breathe fog during this time, and yet it never snows. Bring long sleeves and dress for the cooler weather during these months.
4. Have lunch back up at the YingCharoen Park shopping center at the food court or the Central World food court or high-end restaurants. If you make a habit of going to the same places you’ll start to see the girls that are interested in you noticing you.
They might be coming back at the same time and place to see you as well. You have to be smiling a lot. It makes it easier when you’re with someone, so, if you find another expat to hang out with – great. If you have an interpreter, make sure she eats almost all the meals with you. Talking and smiling and looking around the room and catching eyes looking back at you, can be the start of something.
You have to remember something… the urgency of your mission. You ARE desperate. You know how in your country, you wouldn’t want to come off as desperate?
In Thailand it’s OK. In fact, regular Thai girls love foreigners that are outgoing and friendly and smiling. They love not having to come over to meet you and make the first move all the time.
Some still will and don’t have any trouble with it at all but, others are a bit more reserved, probably shy thinking that you’ll just speak English to them. If you made the effort to learn Thai you’re going to be paid off in spades when in Isaan.
Probably only 5% of expats living in Thailand can speak Thai with any level of comprehension. Those who do, usually speak bargirl Thai. If you learned bargirl Thai, you are best to take some other lessons quick to get up to speed on Bangkok Thai before you go on your bride hunt.
Reason being… you’ll attract bar girls, not good girls with talking like you just came out of a bar in Pattaya.
Good girls will hear you and go tell their bargirl friends or family members about you. Like attracts like. Lose the bargirl Thai vocabulary and start speaking like a polite and educated Thai person and many good doors will open up to you.
5. Start hitting the hospitals. Now, this will sound ridiculous to you, but we can’t think of a better place to find good Thai girls, than those working at a hospital. You might find a nurse or a doctor. Steve, one of the guys I’ve known for a decade, found his lovely wife in a Bangkok hospital. And she’s beautiful too!
You’re almost definitely going to find someone with a bachelor’s degree or better. Most of the hospital personnel are well educated (for Thais) and have had extra English classes as well. I met an emergency room doctor in Sisaket who spoke English well and who was just lovely – and would make a great wife for some lucky guy, and yet there she was in Sisaket and not going to find any foreigner any time soon.
Create some malady that prompts you to go to the hospitals. Don’t go to the clinics, those small open-air rooms you see from the street with thirty sick Thais waiting to get in.
Go to hospitals – public and private. Either make something up that you need to be checked out for or go for a medical condition you have. Have your blood pressure checked. Have them check your blood for something. Have them do a complete blood workup. Do something that requires you to be in there for 30 minutes to an hour or two.
Smile at all the lovely nurses and talk to as many people as possible. Hand out your card like it was free candy. Again, the urgency has to take hold of you or you might find yourself sitting in a bar and drinking bottle after brown bottle of Singha beer in a mug full of ice. Seriously, that’s how they drink beer in Thailand, and especially Isaan. It is quite hot during that time of year.
Some Ubon Hospitals
Sapphasit Hospital – the main public hospital in town, located just up from Tung C Muang a couple of streets, and near the Laithong Hotel. There is a nurse’s college in the same area – best of both worlds, right? At lunch time you would also be smart to go eat at the places you see all the nurses eating at.
In fact, there are enough places to eat and coffee shops and bakeries to stay over here for the better part of your day if you wanted. Forget about girls working in retail – and go straight for the gold: nurses, doctors, and other specialists. If it were me, I’d be here or finding out where the teachers all eat and go to spend time.
Rajavej Private Hospital – located on Chayankul Road, same side as Big C, but not as far from Tung C Muang Park. This is a clean, hospital and I’ve always found the nurses to be friendly.
Ubonrak Thonburi Hospital – Located down near Tung C. Muang park, behind Anuban Ubon School a couple of streets. Ok, about five streets. See the Google Map for the exact location.
6. Choose a place for dinner. One thing you might do – I would – is head over to Tung C. Muang park between the park and Anuban Ubon School where there are many food vendors. If you wait until night time they are also selling pad Thai, gwit diao noodles, grilled chicken, som tam, and other meals. There’s always someone doing grilled chicken too (gai yang / gai bing).
7. Go have some coffee somewhere – one of the coffee spots you liked best and figure out which club you’ll go to. If you’ve already hit The Rock, then go to e-Bar or U-Bar and see if you like them.
Day 3 and Forward
You’re on your own from this point forward, no sense for me to make up a daily schedule for you to do, you won’t necessarily enjoy doing what I would.
Explore the city more. If there are places listed in this book that you haven’t found yet, go find them. Find some favorite places to hang out where you feel comfortable and it’s easy to approach women you see.
What you want to do from this point on is maximize your chances of meeting good girls. That means you have to go out there and do it.
Don’t sit in your room trying to pull up CNN or BBC network on your television, get outside and go experience the city, the culture, the people. You have to really make it imperative that you find a Thai wife during the short time you have to do it.
Some information about places to go to optimize your chance of finding a great girl to marry…
About Exercise in Ubon
There are two main city parks where many hundreds of people go to run, dance, do aerobics, play basketball, and bring their kids to play at the playgrounds:
Tung C Muang Park – located in the center of the city and government building area, down near the Mun River.
Nong Bua Park – found up behind Big C shopping center, way up Chayankul Road.
Fitness Centers – there are a couple of these in and around Ubon Ratchathani city, but we don’t really recommend going there. In comparison to the public parks they are not good places to meet single women. Most of the women attending the fitness centers are already married and trying to stay in shape. You aren’t likely to find anyone under thirty-years-old in there, and less likely to find anyone unmarried.
About Ubon Colleges
Ubon Ratchathani University in Warin Chamrap. Warin is the city located next to Ubon, just across the Mun River. UBU is located about 15 km from downtown Ubon Ratchathani, along a major highway. This university is the best in the area, and where all those that cannot afford to send their kids to Bangkok for school, send them instead.
It’s really quite a decent school, and the level of English from the students coming out of the tourism programs is quite good in comparison to those doing the same at Rajabhat.
Students come from all over surrounding provinces to attend school at UBU. There are many thousands of female students attending bachelor and master programs here, along with hundreds of teachers too.
If UBU wasn’t so far from everything, we’d recommend you just stay outside the gate and eat, drink, and live right there if you’re looking for a woman in her early twenties.
Problem is, it’s too far out from town and there is little to do out there if you’re not attending school on campus.
The right time for being up around the entrance to UBU is between 11:30 am. and 5 pm. There are coffee shops, snack shops, places to get a haircut, and places to have lunch and dinner there. We strongly suggest you spend some time getting to know everything in that area and handing out a lot of your cards there.
Rajabhat University in Ubon is large and has a lot of students, many or most of them are female. Women here are usually 18-22 years old. Rajabhat is about the level of a community college in the USA. Anyone gets in, and the degrees are not really worth much if you want to get a job in Bangkok or elsewhere.
I’ve met many girls from Rajabhat, and I find their English is not as strong as girls coming from one of the better universities. That said, it’s a step up from technical schools, and Polytechnic.
Polytechnic is a step up from a public technical school, but again, not a very good education. The girls usually don’t speak much, if any English, and they don’t pay their foreign teachers well to teach English. So, I wouldn’t spend much time hanging around the front of this school.
The school is located in a place which makes it necessary for attendees to go far off campus for lunch anyway, with many of them heading down toward the YingCharoen Park complex to eat. In the back of this complex there used to be tents full of soup vendors – and it was just 15 THB per bowl. Many students ate there. Not sure it still exists, but if students are your thing, you couldn’t beat that place at lunch.
Technical Schools – these are bottom of the barrel for education, and we don’t recommend you hang out and try to score a girl from one of these places. Of course, she would be better educated than a girl you find in the rice field… so, up to you.
English Programs at High Schools and Primary Schools – Many schools have English programs advertised in front of their schools on large banners or painted right on their walls. You should go in and pretend like you are interested in finding out if they need someone to teach in the program.
This does two things:
1. Introduces you to other Thais that speak English, and almost always they are Thai women.
2. Introduces you to foreigners who are already working there. You might hit it off with someone and go have drinks and talk about good places to find good women in Ubon.
About Foreign Expats You Meet in Ubon
The expats under sixty that you meet in Ubon are likely to be teachers working at one of the public high schools. There are many such schools offering the English programs, and each school has 1-8 English teachers, usually native English speakers, but also Filipinas that come to teach from the Philippines.
If you’ve already been to Thailand before, you know this… and you know much of what we’re telling you here in this book, and we apologize for going over even the small points, but, there are many guys reading this book who have never stepped foot in the country. We’ve got to give them all the information possible to ensure their success.
Back to the point, expats in Thailand are often dating and married to – ex- prostitutes. Doesn’t matter if the expat is teaching, or living in the village, though it’s much more likely if he’s living in the village somewhere in the province of Ubon.
To many guys, it makes no difference at all to them that hundreds or thousands of guys paid money to sleep with the girl they married. To each his own. However, since you bought this book and you’re roaming around Ubon and not Pattaya, we have to assume you are looking for a good Thai girl.
Be very cautious – and we’d even say, don’t accept offers from a fellow expat to hook you up with a girl that would make a good wife possibility.
See, the problem is going to be this…
You don’t know what type of girl the expat married. She might well be an ex-bargirl. When you start drilling him with questions about the background of the girl he wants to set you up with, it might turn out that yeah, she worked in a bar a year ago… or yes, it’s the sister of his bargirl wife… or something like this.
Get away from that scenario… it’s nothing but wasted time, and, you’re going to alienate your new friend if you tell him you don’t want to date anyone that could have ever been a bargirl. It’s happened to me before, and it can also happen to you.
Thais tend to eat the same thing day after day, or at least eat in the same couple of places – restaurants outside the workplace. You’ll know a restaurant is cheap and good enough if you see it packed with Thais.
During lunchtime you will see this more than at dinner time because some people eat at home for dinner. Lunchtime is a free-for-all and everyone is eating out.
There are signs in green with a funny cartoon character on it that says – “Good Food, Good Taste.” Sometimes, and usually, restaurants with that sign can be trusted to serve up decent food and it’s probably cooked in a way that won’t get you sick.
Maybe I’ve been sick from street food three times in seven years. You’re usually going to be OK. Drink bottled water of course, and the ice is almost always bought from a supplier at a restaurant, so it’s safe as well.
About Spicy Food
“Pedt” without the final ‘dt’ sound is how Thais say “spicy.” Spicy in this case means hot – burning spicy, not like salty or sour spice. When you order, you have to make it very clear to the waitress or cook – that you want “mai pedt” – which means “not spicy.” If that’s what you require.
In Isaan – all over Isaan, if you say “mai pedt” – your food, if it’s usually spicy anyway, will STILL be spicy, but less than they’d make it for Thais.
Emphasize mai, mai, mai pedt… or say, “Mai sai prik, kup” – which means, “Don’t add chili peppers please.” You will get some weird looks if the dish cannot be made without chilis, and sometimes they’ll add them anyway, but it’s worth a shot.
Ask your translator about some dishes that won’t be spicy if you absolutely cannot handle hot spicy food of any sort.
About Buddhist Temples
Thais are Theravada Buddhist. In Isaan going to the temple is still habit for many of them, though there are less going every year, a core group are still going regularly – and this includes women that are of marrying age.
What better place to find a good Thai girl than at a Buddhist temple, right? Sure, the bargirls go to make merit for their life of sin, but you will find a lot of great girls at the temple too. If you’re interested in Buddhism at all, start going to a temple in your home country and learn the proper way to act at the temple. There are dress requirements and ways to do things that won’t come naturally unless you go and learn.
In general, if you are near a monk, make sure your head is lower than his head. Watch Thais do it – they really lower themselves in Isaan. In southern Thailand? Not at all.
Tradition is still fairly strong in Isaan, and Thais living there are much more polite than other places in the country. In the south, they have little traditional culture. Bangkok? Little.
Another tip is not to walk faster than a monk if you’re both going the same direction. Never ever touch a monk’s head. Really, never touch a monk, there shouldn’t be a need to. When you go to the temple, wear pants and full shirt, not sleeveless.
I think the temples are one of the best places to find a good girl but there aren’t enough people at a temple to make it worth going unless there is an event going on – Buddhist Lent or something else big.
If you see a big event at a temple – go! You will probably meet some good people. Even if you don’t meet girls, you will meet families and you’ll have given them your business card.
Ubon Expat Spots (Owned by foreigners living in Ubon)
N-Joy – Located at 300/1 Phalochai Rd. You can contact them on the house phone at (045)245830 or on mobile (086)265-3020
Wrong Way Café – A lot of different foods. Located on Phadaeng Road near Tung Si Muang Park in downtown Ubon.
Ubon Night Clubs, Discos
The Rock – located in the Ubon International Hotel megaplex, formerly known as Nevada Hotel.
e-Bar – part of Laithong Hotel complex on the same road as Sapphasit Hospital. Upscale crowd.
U-Bar – university kids and other high-society patrons with money. If you’re not under 40 you will likely feel out of place here, but the live rock music (Thai style) can be quite good.
Swing Party House – this is, without a doubt, one of the sleepiest places in Ubon. The music is mellow. The patrons – more so. They have a sign on the building that Johnny Walker Black is just 999 THB and Red is 599. If that’s true, this is probably the cheapest place in Ubon for those two drinks.
Darwin at WeLoveUbon.com has a map and more details about Ubon’s nightlife – http://weloveubon.com/ubon-nightlife.html
Ubon Shopping Centers
We love girls working retail because… they must talk to you, it’s their job. That, along with the fact that they really hope you buy something, so they score a little commission, makes it one of the ideal places to look for good Thai girls. Often times the girls are hired by a store because they look good. They may not have a degree at all. If a degree is important to you, scoping out the retail shops might not be the best plan of attack.
Central World – this is a relatively new mall that is THE mall to go to in Ubon. It’s located on Ring Road up around the Big C shopping center. Easy to find on Google Maps. This has some great places to take a date to eat dinner. Also, a number of good coffee shops in here that you can make the rounds at. Starbucks is here as well. Yes, there are two Starbucks in Ubon. It’s mind-blowing, we know!
Tesco / Lotus – found on Chayankul Road on the same side of the street as Ubon International Hotel, but up towards Big C (north).
Big C – opposite side of Chayankul as Ubon International Hotel. Further north than Tesco-Lotus. Go north on Chayangkul Road until you see Soi Chayangkul 22 on your left. You’ll see the signs.
YingCharoen Park – 350 yards from the front of Ubon International Hotel. South on Chayankul Road and West (right) on Ratchathani Road.
Makro – North on Chayankul Road. Pass Big C. Make a right on major highway 231. Go about 1km, on your left is Makro. Makro is a good place to look for women, though not women that are shopping there – women that work there. Reason being, Makro is like Sam’s club – a giant warehouse of food that can be bought in bulk. Usually, restaurant owners are shopping here, and most are married already.
Robinson Center – this is filled with high-end clothes departments from different designers. There are plenty of women working the retail in this store and they are eager to talk. I have had many good conversations in the store that could have led to more. There are many college graduates that take jobs in retail in Ubon since other jobs are scarce. It’s either move to Bangkok or take a lower-paying job in retail in Ubon. Many choose to stay in their home town to be closer to family.
Robinson is a great place to go to practice your Thai with the girls working retail. You might also find a great girl there, I knew a few that were gems and that made no attempts to hide the fact that they would go out with me if I wanted. I was already married at the time though.
A word of caution is in order, regarding girls that own their own small business. Usually when bargirls have made enough money and want to escape the industry – and they open a shop of their own, they open a clothes shop, or a hair styling shop. Usually a clothes shop I think. The reason is – they don’t really know how to work at all, their previous years of experience working on their back and playing pound the nail in with the round end of a hammer didn’t give them a strong work ethic. They set themselves up in a clothing shop, turn on the television and presto – instant Thai business.
This is not to say that a high percentage of girls you meet that own businesses like this in Ubon were bargirls, but, just giving you the heads up and so you keep it top of mind. Most bar girls in Pattaya come from where? Ubon, Sisaket, and the other northeastern “poor” provinces. That’s a fact… though I don’t know where I learned it, all expats spout that as fact – so we will too!
Fast Food – Foreign Style
McDonald’s was supposed to be coming to Ubon – but they bailed out after some marketing tests. The nearest McDonald’s is in Udonthani to your north if you have to have it. It’s about a 6-hour bus ride.
KFC’s are in the YingCharoen Park, Robinson Center, Lotus, and Big C complexes.
Dairy Queen is at Tesco-Lotus and Big C.
Pizza Company (like Pizza Hut but not quite same) is at Robinson Center.
MK’s is a hotpot restaurant, meaning, you boil your food in the broth on the pot at your table. It’s quite expensive, but Thais are crazy for it – and will go there if you ask where they want to eat. If you are bringing your girl and her entire family it will cost you a couple of thousand Thai baht. You’ll find this Thai favorite at Big C and Tesco – Lotus.
Best Restaurants to Meet Thai Girls
There are these great little restaurants called “Korean BBQ”. It’s like an “all you can eat” place. Usually, it’s just 99 Baht and doesn’t include drinks. They might charge a lot for water, soft drinks, beer, and ice to make up for it.
Besides the food court at YingCharoen Park or Central World, these Korean BBQ places are the best restaurants to meet Thai girls at. Number one, there are large groups of people at them – there might be 100 people eating there at the same time as you. Reason number two, you have to go up to the food tables to get your food and you can meet people up there as you pick through the selection of veggies, meat and seafood. It’s a good atmosphere, and people are friendly.
BEST in UBON – but, a poor place to sit around and drink it. – Dao – Laos coffee.
Black Canyon is located at the Ubon International Hotel. It’s sort of like Starbucks, but honestly, I’ve yet to have a great cup of coffee there – of any style. Everything besides plain coffee tastes like a latte. Unfortunately, it’s the same deal at any of the Starbucks in the country.
Thai Coffee – there are a couple of these places in Ubon, and I haven’t had it for years, so I won’t bother telling you where I found them – since the location has probably changed. You’ll know you’ve stumbled into one when you see 50 Thais standing in line at a counter to buy plastic baggies full of coffee and ice. The coffee is very strong and full of sugar and some creme, but Thais love it like no other drink. People are usually in a rush to buy the coffee at these places, having only a few minutes before work or during lunch, so it isn’t a great place to meet women.
Have You Found Someone?
Once you find a girl you are interested in – and that is interested in you, what next?
Dating in Isaan is a bit tricky. Traditional Thais will tell you – there is no dating. If you’re seen out with their daughter – you’re getting married. You’re already dating and that is that. I have narrowly avoided some close calls related to this. Of course, you want to date the girl first – and see if she is the ideal match for you, before you get engaged or married.
First, you’ll ask her to dinner or lunch. Her friend may accompany you, or if you have a translator, great, she can be the chaperon. Dinner may lead to overnight at your room, but probably it won’t. Multiple dinners, may not. That’s traditional Thai style. If the girl is totally in love with you in a matter of days, she’ll probably sleep with you – but, I wouldn’t count on it for some weeks or more.
As you spend more time with your chosen girl, you’ll start to see whether she is right for you or not. If she is not right – don’t string her along, because she may get irate. Just cut all communication with her – and move on.
You cannot date multiple girls in Ubon, the city, though large, is too small as far as gossip is concerned, and you might find yourself in deep shi* if you try to be Don Juan Ubon.
Dating Sites to Use
Thai Love Links (www.Thailovelinks.com) is the most recent Thai dating
site that is doing well. It’s a paid site, but they have a lot of members.
Badoo (Badoo.com) – another free site, and they have a lot of members, but I found very few in Ubon – as is the usual with dating services online because Ubon girls don’t speak English well, they definitely don’t read and write it well enough to complete the online forms.
More About Meeting Thai Women…
You know why most guys coming from overseas meet and fall for a Thai bargirl – and marry her?
She: 1. Is around. 2. Speaks some English. 3. Shows him attention.
You can see this for yourself when you arrive. Or, if you’re a frequent visitor to Thailand, you’ve already seen it for yourself. Foreign guys gravitate toward bargirls because they’re easy to pick up. Easy to date. Easy to talk into marriage because they’re looking for a way out of the industry (presumably).
Most guys hunt for their Thai wives in one of three places: 1. Pattaya 2. Patong Beach 3. Nana Plaza, Bangkok.
It does take more effort to meet good Thai girls, that’s for sure.
If you happen to be young, good looking, and charming – and under 45 say, you won’t have any problem whatsoever in finding eligible girls. They’ll find you – just like back in your home country. Most of us don’t have one or more of those qualities, so we have to work a little bit to find a girl who would consider us for marriage. In Thailand too.
When I came to Thailand I was 38 years old and rather outgoing. I wouldn’t call myself overly handsome, or ugly, but somewhere in the middle. I was smiling a lot more than I do now – and I met probably a hundred girls each month, who were willing to go out with me, or who showed interest in me beyond just a regular conversation.
Now, some 14 years later, I’ve stopped smiling nearly so much. I have a wife and children and I don’t need to find anyone to jump into bed with. I’m not looking for a second or third wife. I’m quite happy and so not as flirty as I once was in Thailand. As a result, I meet far fewer women who give me the hint that they would like to take it further than friendship. Far, far fewer. In the last five years, maybe I’ve met about ten such women.
The difference is not my age so much. It isn’t my looks. It is my attitude. My lack of smiles, my lack of looking and making eye contact with girls and smiling that has slowed it all down. The whole key to meeting women in Thailand is smiling and making eye contact. Really, that’s it. If you’re not doing it – you’re not giving yourself half the chance you could have.
Just like in your home country, the weekend is the prime time for meeting women. The reason is – they are ready to meet people once the weekend rolls around.
Personally, I think Thais are ready to meet you anytime, but, I notice a definite change come the weekend. I notice a lot more women looking around, looking away from whomever they are with. They’re looking for guys when the weekend comes to Thailand. Really. I’m 100% sure I see this change on Friday afternoon and it lasts through Sunday.
I think the best times are Friday and Saturday for meeting girls in Thailand. Maybe it’s the same worldwide. I’ve not been to enough countries to be able to speak with authority on the subject.
But Thailand? Absolutely.
So, don’t waste your time on the weekend. Make sure you are out in public as much as possible and meeting people whenever possible.
Don’t forget to check your email sometimes to see if anybody wrote you email that you handed your card to. Some Thais are very shy and might only try to contact you like that.
A Final Word… About Urgency
In thirty days you have 90 chances to meet girls during meals. If you eat four times per day, you have 120 chances. You’ll be walking a lot – so, eat four times per day instead. Eat soup, the rice noodles seem to burn off quickly and you won’t gain weight.
If you hit three or four coffee shops per day you have another 90-120 chances to meet women. Go to thirty nightclubs per month. Hit a couple each night to increase your chances.
Go to at least one department store every day – there are many chances to meet girls at Central World, Robinsons, YingCharoen, Tesco-Lotus, and Big C, don’t ignore these places. Be prepared to walk a LOT. Start on a training program now from home so you are ready to walk a couple of miles during the course of each day you spend in Thailand.
If you can learn to eat som tam, gwit diao, kowl men gai, pad Thai, tom yum, yum woonsen, and other Thai favorites – do it! Thais love to see foreigners eating Thai food and oftentimes you’ll be in conversations over it. It happens a lot here.
Exercise nightly at one of the outdoor parks. Walk or sit on the benches – regardless, you’re going to see many, many people – and more importantly, they’ll see you there day after day and wonder why you don’t have a Thai wife. Talk to men and women – men have sisters and daughters that they might want you to know.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS – Maybe We Can Help…
It isn’t likely that we’re going to have the time, but if you really need help and you need it now….
If all else fails and you think you need serious help because you aren’t even close to finding a Thai wife sometime during the course of your 30-days in Thailand, Contact Us and let us know.
It may be possible that we’ll meet you in Ubon and personally find you, good Thai women, to choose from.
Yes, it will cost. The fee for this service is 285,000 THB. I’ll help you for two weeks on a daily basis to help find your Thai bride.
I’ll help with whatever you require. I know the city inside and out. You won’t need to pay for a translator, pay for a room, buy food for me, or pay anything else for me – it’s all included in the fee.
Of course, you still pay your own expenses like hotel, food, and transportation, but we can probably help you save substantially in those areas – if you choose this option.
If you want slower options and you have the time – that won’t cost as much. You can…
You can volunteer to teach at a school just about anywhere in Thailand, and within a few months (of trying) you will probably have met someone to marry. I think if you teach for six months or a year in Thailand you will almost certainly meet someone that you could marry.
Many teachers do just that. Many female teachers meet Thai men to marry too. You can teach and get paid too, but usually, the contract is for one year. By all means, if you can take a year away from your home country to teach in Thailand, do that.
Start Looking for a Good Job in Thailand
Teaching English will net you some fraction of what you can make back in your home country. There are decent jobs in Bangkok for professionals with major companies – Bangkok is one of the big hubs for Asia. With time and diligence, you might be able to find a job making as much money in Bangkok as you do at home. There are plenty of good girls in Bangkok too.
Glassdoor.com – I get job alerts from this site all the time. Sign up in your area of expertise and see if there are job openings in Bangkok and around Thailand for you.
JobsDB.com – Jobs Database is known to have a lot of jobs in Thailand, though I didn’t find much in my area. Have a look though, it can’t hurt.
Some guys meet their future bride on a dating site first and send dozens of emails back and forth before meeting in Thailand. Some get married afterward. Though I couldn’t see how this could work more than one time in fifty, the guy Steve I told you about earlier has done this exact thing. He found his wife on a dating site.
So, it is possible. I think it’s safe to say it isn’t probable, and that many of the girls on the dating sites are not what they seem. Some are actually guys – Thai and foreigners alike, that are scheming ways to rip off guys abroad looking for Thai women.
Ok, that’s all I have for you. I really hope it helped, and I hope you put a plan into action in the next year or so.
Best of Luck to you on your mission!
Other Recommended Thailand Books:
“THAI BLACK BOOK” – The ultimate Thailand expat survival guide. (We pulled this off the market. We MIGHT be re-releasing it. Write ThaiPulse@gmail to ask if it is available.