Thai Girl with Abusive / Controlling Boyfriend
There is a girl in my mathyom 3 class, she just turned 15 yrs old.
She is very sweet and quiet… She has braces. I’ll call her “Ying”. She is tall. She’s in the English program at this good government school. She isn’t smart at Math – the subject I teach, but at English she is OK.
She was frequently late to my class last term and absent many times.
She skipped my class numerous times last term too.
Today I found out why.
The head of the English program at the school, a Thai woman, middle-aged – called the M3 teachers into the office today to discuss a problem.
One of the students – Ying.
I thought – wow, Ying doesn’t have a problem.
Then she laid it out for us.
Ying has been late to many classes – and skipped many classes. She has been absent 17 times this term already.
Ying has a “bad boy” for a boyfriend. Actually, she doesn’t want him as a boyfriend anymore, but the boy has threatened her that he will kill her family and her if she breaks up with him.
Ying’s boyfriend often takes her behind the restrooms here on campus to kiss her and fondle her – from what we’re told by other teachers that have found them.
If you understand Thai society – they don’t DO THAT here. Unless you’re talking about the whores in Phuket, Pattaya, or other tourist sex areas here in Thailand the Thai women just don’t do anything at all in public. My girlfriend won’t hold my hand, touch me or kiss me in public. EVER.
I think this situation must be highly unusual. This girl’s family has a lot of money and a business here in town. They spend 60,000 baht per year to send their daughter to school in our English program.
They also send her to extra classes which probably run another 20-30,000 baht per year.
Now the craziest part of this relationship is this…
The boy needs money… so, in typical Thai male fashion, he goes to her to get it.
Ying’s parents don’t give her money anymore. She only has money to eat at school and nothing extra.
So, her boyfriend got creative.
He makes her go into her own class and collect money from her friends – the entire class so that they all must give him money.
If she doesn’t collect it, she gets HIT. He has hit her on many occasions we were told.
Now, this is all crazy enough and we could imagine a man doing this… but, this is a 16-YEAR-OLD BOY in the grade above hers!
Is that bizarre? Not in Thailand.
Of course, we foreign teachers asked the director… what are you doing about it?
She said, “What can we do? He threatened to hurt Ying and her parents if Ying breaks up with him. He threatened to beat her up if they stop giving her money.”
We were pretty astounded. So, their plan was WHAT we asked…
She then tells us that this boy is part of a gang here in the town and that they’re a very bad group of kids.
We then remind her that this is THAILAND… you could wipe out the whole gang for 100,000 baht if you chose to. 20k baht per head and maybe a payoff to police, but maybe not necessary – depending whose kids are in this gang.
To be terrorized by a group of 16-year-olds and to have no response except to continue letting a girl gets molested and beat up by a guy she doesn’t love or even like anymore just isn’t an option to me.
I’m no stranger to violence, being from the US and having been in many altercations during my life – while in the armed forces and other places… but, this is THAILAND man, this is where they don’t need to take any of this nonsense – just get rid of the jacka**es!
I hope someone resolves this soon.
What would you do if your son was in the class? If this girl, Ying, was YOUR daughter?
What would you do if he threatened to kill YOUR family if your daughter broke up with him?
Hmm, it wouldn’t take me long to find the local hitman and resolve the problem. Yes, it may cause problems even bigger than THIS once things are set straight for THIS issue. But, you can either watch the game and be victims or set it straight and then set it straight again and again.
Until it’s right. I’d go for that option.
The “not sure” option is the Thai way…
What would you do?